Birthday Expectations

In terms of gimmickry, surprises and itinerary, I have zero expectations for my coming birthday (December 14th), for lots of reasons. Let me count the ways...

1) It falls on a Sunday. For me, it's a boring day to celebrate a birthday. Haha! Ordinary Sundays for me usually consist of waking up late, watching TV (most usually ASAP 2008) whilst having lunch, then some random internet surfing or laptop tinkering, watching more TV (by this time, the showbiz shows are already up), then go to Mass, then have dinner (usually leftovers from the delicious lunch) and then some more random internet surfing or laptop tinkering. See? It's basically and simply a chillax day for me. I rarely go out with friends or go to the mall to buy something. Now who wants to spend one's birthday just like any other day of the year?

2) No plans for a party. At least, none so far. Haha! Now I am sure that the 15th will be a more special day. It will be my sister's birthday (yeah, cool enough, magkasunod lang kami, hehe), and my parents will arrive from abroad that day. So there will be fancy food and the house will be filled with the sweet smell of balikbayan pasalubongs. Haha! For sure, I will be rummaging through the luggages for whatever is supposed to be mine, and even negotiate for things that are not supposed to be mine, haha!

3) I have a major deadline the next day. We have a Progress Report for thesis class. So most probably, I will be "working" on my birthday. Unless of course, if I finish what I need to beforehand. That is highly unlikely though, haha!

4) I have no "budget" to celebrate. So I cannot make plans to treat people or even treat myself. Like last year, I actually haven't asked my parents for any 'birthday package'. Unlike last year though, I think I can sweet talk my way into some this year, hehe. But even so, I don't have any plans of having a big birthday bonanza. Maybe I would just make a cake for myself (Haha! Parang ang loser ko naman) or have some pizza delivered or something.

5) The week coming into the birthday is a busy one, too. Precisely because of the major deadline!

6) Last year, I was already surprised by some of my closest friends. So I don't think they will do it again this year, haha! Because it's a Sunday and we're most likely to be with our own families that day. Hassle talaga for them. Plus, two of those who surprised me last year are in Singapore now. So, it's geographically impossible.

7) I am not expecting gifts, either. I don't have a girlfriend who will be obliged to give me one (Oy, walang bitterness ito ah, hehe!). In our family, having actual birthday presents is not a common practice (the fancy family meal is already considered the gift). As for friends, I don't know. Minsan, meron. Minsan, wala. So come what may na lang. I'd already be super happy if I receive a thoughtful card or a thoughtful text message (hindi lang yung default na "Happy Birthday! God bless!", hehe).

I am not saying though that I think my birthday will be a letdown. Well, it maybe uneventful, but it doesn't mean it won't be meaningful. I really hope I won't be stuck in our apartment that day for the major deadline I keep talking about so that I can go home to my family and at least spend it with them.

More so, there will be many social and personal events for the rest of the holiday season that I am looking forward to. None of them fall exactly on my birthday but hey, at least the euphoria will linger on.

Shapeshifting

I will officially start 'going to the gym' later this afternoon. And I feel weird about it, haha!

You see, I've always had this notion that people who go to the gym, especially guys, just do so just for the sake of 'looking good'. After all, women do tend to drool over 'hot' guys more often than they do over 'nice' guys. Plus, I used to think that people who invest on their 'looks' too much do so, because, well, that is all that they have going for them. I know, I know, such opinions reek of my (physical and social) insecurities. Not to mention that I totally sound judgmental towards people who work out. But that has changed in the past year or so.

I've never had problems with my weight -- I've never been too skinny that I look malnourished or too fat that I was obese. At 5'7", I think my height is pretty okay for a Filipino guy. So in short, looks-wise, I've always viewed myself as perfectly normal and ordinary. Of course, when you're a child, you don't really care whether other kids have a crush on you. But I guess, you will reach a certain age when you'll experience too many disappointments and heartaches and you'd look yourself in the mirror and find yourself wishing that you were better-looking. Because let's face it! Society is quite biased towards good-looking people. Of course, in our culture, what is considered "beautiful" is an open debate.

Except for my efforts to battle acne ever since I was a teenager, I've never felt the need to 'improve' my looks, despite the fact that if I were indeed better-looking, I most probably have experienced 'certain things' by now, haha! So that begs the question: why have I decided to go to the gym and work out now?

Is it because I dream for a six-pack set of abs? Some mean biceps and triceps? How about strong-looking shoulders and pecs? Haha! Well, I must admit, it wouldn't hurt to have all of those. But it's not really my main motivation for this decision, which is simply: anlaki na ng tiyan ko! Haha!

Okay fine, it's really not THAT big. But given my overall body built, it is bigger than I hoped it would be. I have a few pairs of pants that I can't get myself into anymore. Some of my favorite shirts feel quite tight already. Well, I can still wear them -- but they're so tight that my abdomen would bulge. People would kid and say, "Uy, may beer belly ka na." That really sucks because I don't even drink a lot! Haha! Plus, crawling well under a table to pick up something that fell or when I have to plug/unplug my laptop's power cord to a hard-to-reach electric socket has become such an effort already.

To 'get back in shape' is my simple goal. The shape that I want does not really have to be so sexy, hehe. I don't really have plans to be a model, a sexy actor or a kras ng bayan anyway. I have more to offer as a person aside from my looks, hehe. I am not getting any younger, it's about time to start improving different aspects of my life that I haven't really paid attention to before. For one, I just want to be physically fit -- just like most people who go to the gym. Because not all such people who work out are all about their looks.