So Young

My experience is not something I am ashamed of. But for two whole months, I kept my “complete” identity from my co-trainees at work. “Complete” being the operative word because technically, I never lied to them about myself. There were just many major facets of my life I left out in our many getting-to-know-each-other conversations, haha! Besides, they never asked the right questions.
 

Back in July, Jayson (who I later learned is the youngest guy in our batch) asked me, “Kuya, fresh grad ka rin?” I grinned and replied, “Oo.” I mean, did I lie in saying I was a fresh graduate? No. But since he never followed it up with “Ilang taon ka na?”, I didn’t have to divulge that, “Oo, fresh grad ako, pero 10 years ako sa college.” Haha!
 

They called me all sorts of things when they found out. Manlilinlang. Sinungaling. Impostor. Mapagpanggap. Spy. Con Artist (my personal favourite, because after all, it sounds so James Bond, which I am so not. Haha!). It was all in humor of course, but to say that they were surprised is an understatement. Jayson didn’t even believe me when I jokingly segued to him the truth. He went along for the ride, thinking that I was going to eventually deliver a punch line in the end. Until I showed him my UP ID and he exclaimed, “Shet, totoo nga!”.
 

I’ve been meaning to tell them for quite some time, actually. After all, sailing through the same two months of gruelling training can only serve to bring people closer. I knew that I would have to tell them eventually, but it just wasn’t the time. Until that fateful day when Jordan had a glimpse of my sablay picture in my wallet when I was returning my ATM card. I tried to veer his attention away from what he saw but the smart aleck just didn’t know when to stop. Haha!
 

In a way, I was relieved that they already know (those that I am closest to). Two months of suppressing and curtailing certain parts of my personality was getting tiring. Haha! At least I don’t have to explain anymore why I know a lot of other people in our building who work in other companies (they were my blockmates in UP who graduated way ahead of me), or why I constantly run into acquaintances in nearby establishments during lunch outs (they were my UP Aguman orgmates who work in the area, too). Haha! In short, I didn’t have to be careful of what I say and what I do that may inadvertently reveal the truth. I can be me – all 26 years worth of experience that made me who I am.
 

Why did I have to hide it in the first place, you may ask? Well, for starters, I would have had to do a lot of explaining and relating of personal stuff – something you don’t necessarily do on your first day at work and to people you just met, right? Haha! Secondly, work is just like a fresh new start. It’s not just an entirely new ball game. It’s an entirely new tournament! I want to be measured or gauged not by my mistakes in the past but with what I will accomplish in the future. While one's alma mater may make or break one's chances in getting hired, once one gets hired, that's it. There'll be not much reference to where you graduated anymore! Lastly, while I reiterate that I am not ashamed of it, my experience is not exactly something I would proclaim all the time either. All things considered, I think it’s better that people see my worth first before they see why I’m built this way. Because then, the judgment would be purer and with the least bias.
 

I am most amused though at how they couldn’t imagine that I am at least 6 years older than they are, given that I’ve been laughing and talking to them as if I was as young as they were. Haha! They were only able to fathom the age difference when I finally revealed who among our senior colleagues was a batch mate in high school. The funniest reaction was when I told them I might even be older than a senior trainer who already had two kids: “Hala! Edi dapat pala may anak at pamilya ka na rin!” Oh I don’t know. I’m still too young. Haha!

I may be an old soul, but I remain young at heart.