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2011 Recap - Extraordinary

2012-01-08T11:59:00.000+08:00

“2011, 2010 has given me so much that I don't know what to ask/expect from you anymore. Surprise me.”

We rarely measure changes in our lives by the day. If we think about how we spend the 24 hours of each day, it’s pretty obvious why.

Firstly, we spend about a third of it asleep. Secondly, we usually just do routine stuff. It’s not every day that we do something different or out of character that yields a considerable amount of change in our personality – or our future. But when you lump 365 days together, we see clearly what difference a year makes.

I said in my 2010 memoir that “as a whole, 2010, was one of the best years I’ve had in recent memory”. Imagine my delightful surprise when 2011 turned out to be an even more fantastic year for me. Boy, was I surprised indeed!

It’s easy to pinpoint the two biggest highlights of my 2011: finally graduating from college and finally getting a job. Although I expected these two milestones to happen this year, I never imagined the wonderful “bonuses” that came along when they happened: 1) my college diploma came with a “Best Thesis” award and 2) I got hired by a very prestigious multi-national company – despite my very blemished scholastic record.

I couldn’t be any more satisfied with the current status of my career. I mean, given the multiple mishaps in my academic life, I predicted that while I breezed through sealing the deal for my college diploma, I thought that jumpstarting my career would prove to be more challenging. But in the end, my golden streak with opportunity has not yet ended and I landed a job that appreciated my skills and experience. Of course, I recognize that the level of my career is hardly at par with my contemporaries but this start was way more than what I had hoped for and what I had expected I deserved.

All the other wonderful changes and highlights of my year were made possible by these two biggest ones. I am deeply thankful to God for making all these happen this year. In my darkest, most tumultuous moments in the past decades, I mulled over the reasons why I always had to stumble and why I couldn’t seem to get a break. As difficult and challenging it was, I kept my faith and believed in my heart that someday, I will understand why. Well, I think that “someday” has finally come.

Of course, one can argue that who knows, I could be in a much better place right now if all those bad things had not happened. But if there’s one thing that my faith in Him has taught me, I should never question the wisdom in His plans for me. (I don’t mean to be preachy, but I just want to share that that is what fuelled my strength and patience in enduring all these years).

2011 was truly a wonderful beginning to the current chapter of my life. Albeit delayed, I believe that this is what makes my story quite extraordinary, don’t you think? Extraordinary things happen to extraordinary people. And although there are times that “extraordinary” can be quite unfavorable, I like to believe that I am made of extraordinary stuff that allows to make the most out of any situation – extraordinary or not.

I was a daydream

Quiet and unseen

I lived in stories but inside I kept a mystery

Nobody's darling

Flying in perfect circles just for company

And now I'm ready

And now I'm ready to be extraordinary
~"Extraordinary" by Mandy Moore

2011 Recap - My Most Played Songs

2011-12-31T14:33:00.001+08:00

Thanks to my Last.FM account, I am now able to keep track of the songs I play on my laptop, so no need to manually tally them. Not that I have done that before. Haha!

#1 Adele - Someone Like You
Oh, definitely my song of the year. Not that I could relate to this song this year, but this one simply perfectly captured one of the worst pains one could ever have -- heartache. I can listen to this one all day.

#2 The Backbeats - Landslide

First heard this one when The Backbeats performed it in "The Sing-Off" Season 2.

#3 The Script - If You Ever Come Back

But she never did. Neh Lawi? Haha!

#4 Kelly Clarkson - Mr. Know It All

The original American Idol was back with a great album this year!

#5 Katy Perry - Last Friday Night (TGIF)

Ooh, I've had many great Friday nights this year! Not Katy Perry level though. Haha!

#6 Maroon 5 ft Christina Aguilera - Moves Like Jagger

As a newbie in the company, I performed this with batchmates in the office Christmas Party! Ugh. Haha!

#7 Adele - Rolling In The Deep

Best. Angst. Song. EVER.

#8 Javier Colon - Stitch By Stitch

My bet for The Voice won! Last time the contestant I rooted for won was in American Idol Season 8 when Kris Allen beat Adam Lambert.

#9 The Script - Nothing

Two emo songs from The Script in my Top 10. I should not be judged.

#10 Avril Lavigne - What The Hell

Angst and Bad-ass jam sound in one song, saan ka pa!

#11 Jojo - Disaster

#12 Cast of Glee - Loser Like Me

#13 The Script - Science & Faith

#14 Lady Gaga - Born This Way

#15 Shontelle - Reflection

#16 Greyson Chance - Unfriend You

#17 Yeng Constantino - Wag Na

#18 Sugarland - Stand Up

#19 Delilah - Grenade

#20 Maroon 5 - Just A Feeling

#21 Olly Murs - Thinking Of Me

#22 Taylor Swift - The Story Of Us

#23 Maroon 5 - Never Gonna Leave This Bed

#24 Kelly Clarkson - Tell Me A Lie

#25 Charice - Lost The Best Thing

#26 Cast of Glee - Light Up The World

#27 Beyonce - Best Thing I Never Had

#28 Beyonce - Run The World (Girls)

#29 Reba McEntire - Turn On The Radio

#30 Lady Antebellum - Just A Kiss

#31 Simple Plan ft Natasha Bedingfield - Jet Lag

#32 Javier Colon - Time After Time

#33 Natasha Bedingfield - Strip Me

#34 Delilah - Whataya Want From Me

#35 Cee Lo Green - It's Ok

#36 Jordin Sparks - I Am Woman

#37 One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful

#38 Gloriana - Wanna Take You Home

#39 Colbie Caillat - Brighter Than The Sun

#40 Cast of Glee - Take Me Or Leave Me

#41 Chris Brown - Look At Me Now

#42 Jojo - The Other Chick

#43 Jule Anne San Jose - Super Bass

#44 McFly & Taio Cruz - Shine A Light

#45 Adele - Rumor Has It

#46 Sponge Cola - Tambay

#47 Train - Marry Me

#48 Alex Gaudino ft Kelly Rowland - What A Feeling

#49 Fantasia - Collard Greens & Cornbread

#50 David DiMuzio - Naiisio Mo Ba

26 + 1 = 27

2011-12-14T08:10:00.001+08:00

I think this will be the first time in years that I get to post this mandatory birthday post during my actual birthday. Haha! Well, thanks to all the extra time I have since I moved closer to work.

So, how did I usher in my 27th birthday? Nothing special really. As I type this very paragraph, my laptop clock just turned 12:00 midnight! *Pause* Happy Birthday to me! Hmm, okay, moment over. Haha!

Well, on the eve of my birthday, I bought a box of Krispy Kreme donuts. I know, I know, I’ve been packing in the pounds since I stopped even trying to jog (or play badminton at that) a month ago. But hey, IT IS my birthday. If I want to eat something fancy to satisfy my sweet tooth, calories be damned.

I also went to Starbucks for my grande cup of Cranberry White Chocolate Mocha and decided to try their Turkey and Chicken Wrap with Apple Stuffing. I haven’t had dinner because I stayed late at work (for both work and “extra-work” stuff). Again, calories and gastos be damned! Haha! (EDIT: On my way to work today, I again passed by Starbucks! Birthday ko, I should not be judged!)

And when I got home, I simply went through the last minute stuff I had to do tonight. You see, tomorrow (well, today actually) is our company’s Christmas Party and I’m part of the committee that organizes it. I had some tasks to do and I’m relieved I was able to finish them without much hitch. I don’t want to be stressed on my birthday.

Now I don’t think anyone at work knows tomorrow is my birthday, haha! I’ve mentioned it to my batchmates a few months ago, but nobody seems to remember anymore because none of them has mentioned anything to me lately.

This little factoid (my birthdate) will prove to be crucial information. Haha! If my officemates will start greeting me I’m sure my age is bound to be brought up. And that fact, my friends, is some sensational (at least to them) information I don’t to be revealed just yet. Hahaha!

And so, it’s almost 10 minutes past midnight, I’m officially 27 years old (I was born at 12:08am)! Yey!

*Switching to 3rd Person*

Happy Birthday, Rex! You haven’t planned anything special today. I don’t know what kind of schtick you are playing because we both know you love surprises and celebrations all that (which is why you do that to your friends whenever you can). But I think you’ve accepted that fact that circumstances are not conducive to wonderful merriment. And it’s actually amazingly weird that you are okay with that. Enjoy this day nonetheless. Just pretend that the company Christmas Party is your Birthday Party. Who knows you just might win the grandest prize in the raffle draw. Haha! Have an amazing day ahead, and I hope you will get the most perfect birthday gift we both know you are truly longing for – year after year. Ingat!

PS. That cold you suspect to be nursing already, I hope it doesn’t get worse today.

Feels Like Home

2011-12-10T22:00:00.000+08:00

I kept thinking of ways to come up with a creative preamble to this farewell piece, but alas, I can’t think of anything that does justice to the truth – words fail me when I try to fathom how much 34G means to my life, my character, my very being.

How does one say goodbye to a place you’ve considered your second home for the past nine years? I look at the underside of the upper bed of my double deck and my mind is taken over with all the thoughts, ideas and feelings I’ve reflected on and the memories I’ve made for the past nine years. And that is just the underside of the upper bed above me! Don’t get me started with the cabinet, the window, the other room, the stairs! Oh dear – the refrigerator! Haha!

**********
34G practically represents every period of my life after high school – it’s freakin’ one-third of my life. It’s even longer than my childhood and teenage years! Next to our Pampanga home, there’s no other structure in this world that I stayed longer in. I’ve experienced and learned so much from it that all that I am, all that I say and do these days is an influence from my stint at this legendary Aguman apartment.

Throughout my bests and worsts, 34G was as constant, secure and dependable as the best of my friends. It’s the second safest haven for me.

My housemates (and their annexes, haha) were pretty much my second family. Most of my best circle of friends in my entire life I have met courtesy of 34G. Starting from the older “kuya’s” and “ate’s” I’ve learned to deeply look up to, to the younger “wali’s” I have grown fond of taking care of, all of these people have touched and continue to touch my life even as some of us are geographically very apart. These are the kind of people I will always miss when I don’t get to see them often, and when I do, it feels like I’ve only seen them the day before. These are the people I want to grow old with. When you share an apartment with four or five other people for years on end, you get to share your life as well.

**********
Now 34G, in all its sovereign glory, was not always a peaceful place. Every now and then conflicts would arise. Resolving these minor misunderstandings taught me valuable lessons on maturity, selflessness, consideration and most importantly, responsibility.

Maturity because being away from home and your family teaches you how to be independent and there are many things you have to handle on your own. Selflessness because looking out for other people will make doing things for them come naturally. Consideration because a lot of it prevents five boys from killing in each other when they get on each other’s nerves. Haha! Responsibility because it takes real effort to turn a drab two-storey apartment into some semblance of a home you would love going home to and make sure that all affairs are in proper order.

**********
I wrote the excerpts below about 34G for our organization’s website almost four years ago:

“When I moved in to 34G, I was the youngest, most naive, dependent and innocent housemate. But I was surrounded by the best set of older brothers and sisters so I learned and mastered the ways of the world (and of the org) in no time. Like I always say, ‘I learned from the best’.

“They say familiarity breeds contempt. Yes, it’s true. But it comes with the territory anyway. No other experience has taught me more things and lessons in life than living with the organization’s best people. So yes, the pros definitely trump the cons – to the words of Simon Cowell – by a mile.

“I admit though, there were many times when I wanted to move out for a number of many different reasons (mainly mood swings). But at the end of those manic episodes, I’ve always realized that I cannot do it. I thought, how could I possibly deliberately cut myself out from a place that has actually helped define a huge part of my being.”

**********
Leaving 34G was no mean feat. I had to pack and move lots of stuff to my new place – it was raining and all my bags almost didn’t fit in the car. But leaving was heavier emotionally.

I became a part of 34G and 34G became a part of me. And in wherever amazing palace, or God forbid worse shanty, life will take me someday, I will carry that 34G part with me – always.

Fighter

2011-10-29T06:50:00.000+08:00

She has survived three strokes, countless hospitalizations and organ infections. It’s comforting to know that in the end, she chose to sign off quietly and peacefully. We’ve been ready for a while now. We’ve come to accept that really, it was all for the best, that we’d rather she take her well-deserved rest already.

Part of me wished that she would completely recover. Be able to eat normally again, talk again, walk again. But part of me was being more realistic and just prayed that her remaining years would at least be comfortable.

She has survived three strokes, countless hospitalizations and organ infections. A 90 year-old body can only take so much beating. But Apung Milagring’s did. Now if that isn’t a resilient fighter, I don’t know what is.
_________________

A big chunk of my childhood memories involved Apu. From the brief time she and Ingkung lived with us at our home, to the many summer vacations me and my other cousins spent at hers in Dila-dila, Sta Rita.

Every summer, April 25 was a date my cousins and I always look forward to. It’s the barangay fiesta and for the days leading to it, we would already be there, supposedly to help out with the preparations, but we would just end up wreaking more havoc with our kakulitan and kalikutan. Haha!

For every major occasion – Holy Week, the fiesta, her birthday, Undas, Christmas – there was something memorable happening courtesy of Apu. We rolled hundreds of flour balls used for the sampelut. We accompanied her to the Guagua market so early in the morning (uhm, I almost always passed for this one, haha). We collected sampaguita flowers from the fields to be used for flower offerings for our departed loved ones every November 1st. And one of our annual favourites as children – we celebrated her birthday in swimming resorts.

I enjoyed my childhood immensely and Apu was one of the major reasons why. She was our ‘lola’ in every sense of the word and for that we will forever be grateful. Her body may have failed her during her last few years, but thank God her mind and heart were still intact. She still knew us and her eyes responded just as expressively whenever words fail her.

Even to the last of her hours, I feel like she was still concerned about us – the people she was about to leave behind. It was like she knew that more than ever, we needed her wisdom, guidance and strength of character. You would think that people who are now grandpas and grandmas themselves would already know what to do in any situation. But sometimes, it takes a family’s matriarch to sort things out.

_________________
I first drank coffee as a child when I accidentally drank Apu's cup instead of the the Milo she would make for all of her grandchildren. You see, whenever we stay at her house for our annual summer vacation for a whole week leading to the fiesta, she would make sure we are well fed and taken care of and "shouting" and "forcing" us to drink and eat our Milo-pandesal breakfast was just one of her many ways in making us feel at home.

It was just a little sip of bare black coffee with a little sugar, but boy, did I fall instantly in love with the drink. Fast forward to 20+ years and here I am, still addicted to coffee -- more than ever. You're the reason why I am now hooked to Starbucks! Haha!

To the most resilient woman and matriarch that I know, and to the one who introduced me to coffee, Apung Mila, have a peaceful journey to the other life. Makapag-paynawa naka rin! Panan mu ke karin. Oneng ali naman dusuldit ne. Dakal salamat, kaluguran daka.

Mo' Money, Mo' Problems

2011-10-10T18:10:00.000+08:00

I will be first to admit that I’ve never been the frugal type. When I was still a student, I was able to budget my allowance properly. “Properly” being the operative word. I say “properly” because, well, I never became short. I was always able to allocate enough funds for all my monthly expenses. I don’t think I’ve ever had to “borrow” money from friends, and in fact, I was the one who lend some. But to say that I “wisely” spend my money is another story altogether.

One of the worst things I’ve had to put up with during my super extended stay in college is not being able to afford certain things just yet – no matter how much I might be able save from my allowance. Book a flight to Cebu. Purchase a certain gadget. Buy something fancy. Treat my family to pizza or the movies! Haha! I’ve always had to manage with my monthly allowance, and more often than not, it was just a little more than enough. Hey, not that I complained, but I will get to my point soon, haha!

So one of the things I looked forward to the most in working was being able to afford more stuff. When I was asked how much salary I wanted to get in one of my job interviews, I told the manager that I hope it would be at least more than what I used to get as an allowance when I was still a student. He asked how much my monthly allowance was. And they never called again. Go figure. Haha! Call me “mukhang-pera”, but who wouldn’t want to get an ample pay check every month?

But now that I am working and indeed able to enjoy “more stuff”, why do I still feel like it’s never enough?! Now that I have more, I feel like I want to spend more! Ack.

No doubt that my salary is quite enough not only for my “needs”, but also for many of my “wants”. But unfortunately, I think my “wants” have increased proportionally with how much money I now get/make! (But I suppose that is but natural, right?) And here’s another thing – not only do I want to spend more for myself, I often feel more “galante” than usual. And believe me, there is great joy when you buy stuff for or treat your family (and even friends). This is dangerous territory. Haha!

I guess my seemingly “spend like there’s no tomorrow” spree was just an initial reaction to this new phase in my life. I mean, I’ve waited so long for this. Anyone would celebrate and indulge more often, right? It was my hard-earned money after all.

But of course, this should only be temporary. The euphoria from the monumental first pay check should have been over. Now that I get to have more, I should exercise more responsibility and wisdom in consuming it. And while the warm feeling of sharing these blessings is indeed heartfelt, just as important and dignified is saving for the rainy day.

Or saving for that HTC phone I’ve always wanted. Hee.

“Go give to the needy sweet charity's bread.
For giving is living," the angel said.
"And must I be giving again and again?"
My peevish, petulant answer ran.
"Oh, no," said the angel, piercing me through,
"just give till the Master stops giving to you."

Looking forward to be able to share more as well!

So Young

2011-09-12T16:30:00.002+08:00

My experience is not something I am ashamed of. But for two whole months, I kept my “complete” identity from my co-trainees at work. “Complete” being the operative word because technically, I never lied to them about myself. There were just many major facets of my life I left out in our many getting-to-know-each-other conversations, haha! Besides, they never asked the right questions.

Back in July, Jayson (who I later learned is the youngest guy in our batch) asked me, “Kuya, fresh grad ka rin?” I grinned and replied, “Oo.” I mean, did I lie in saying I was a fresh graduate? No. But since he never followed it up with “Ilang taon ka na?”, I didn’t have to divulge that, “Oo, fresh grad ako, pero 10 years ako sa college.” Haha!

They called me all sorts of things when they found out. Manlilinlang. Sinungaling. Impostor. Mapagpanggap. Spy. Con Artist (my personal favourite, because after all, it sounds so James Bond, which I am so not. Haha!). It was all in humor of course, but to say that they were surprised is an understatement. Jayson didn’t even believe me when I jokingly segued to him the truth. He went along for the ride, thinking that I was going to eventually deliver a punch line in the end. Until I showed him my UP ID and he exclaimed, “Shet, totoo nga!”.

I’ve been meaning to tell them for quite some time, actually. After all, sailing through the same two months of gruelling training can only serve to bring people closer. I knew that I would have to tell them eventually, but it just wasn’t the time. Until that fateful day when Jordan had a glimpse of my sablay picture in my wallet when I was returning my ATM card. I tried to veer his attention away from what he saw but the smart aleck just didn’t know when to stop. Haha!

In a way, I was relieved that they already know (those that I am closest to). Two months of suppressing and curtailing certain parts of my personality was getting tiring. Haha! At least I don’t have to explain anymore why I know a lot of other people in our building who work in other companies (they were my blockmates in UP who graduated way ahead of me), or why I constantly run into acquaintances in nearby establishments during lunch outs (they were my UP Aguman orgmates who work in the area, too). Haha! In short, I didn’t have to be careful of what I say and what I do that may inadvertently reveal the truth. I can be me – all 26 years worth of experience that made me who I am.

Why did I have to hide it in the first place, you may ask? Well, for starters, I would have had to do a lot of explaining and relating of personal stuff – something you don’t necessarily do on your first day at work and to people you just met, right? Haha! Secondly, work is just like a fresh new start. It’s not just an entirely new ball game. It’s an entirely new tournament! I want to be measured or gauged not by my mistakes in the past but with what I will accomplish in the future. While one's alma mater may make or break one's chances in getting hired, once one gets hired, that's it. There'll be not much reference to where you graduated anymore! Lastly, while I reiterate that I am not ashamed of it, my experience is not exactly something I would proclaim all the time either. All things considered, I think it’s better that people see my worth first before they see why I’m built this way. Because then, the judgment would be purer and with the least bias.

I am most amused though at how they couldn’t imagine that I am at least 6 years older than they are, given that I’ve been laughing and talking to them as if I was as young as they were. Haha! They were only able to fathom the age difference when I finally revealed who among our senior colleagues was a batch mate in high school. The funniest reaction was when I told them I might even be older than a senior trainer who already had two kids: “Hala! Edi dapat pala may anak at pamilya ka na rin!” Oh I don’t know. I’m still too young. Haha!

I may be an old soul, but I remain young at heart.

I'm Not Missing You

2011-08-31T22:04:00.002+08:00

I’ve been working for two months now and to say that the past couple months have been life changing is an understatement. Much has been altered in many major aspects – to something as major as my monthly budget and expenses, to something as ordinary as my daily routine.

I don’t get to stay awake until the wee hours of the morning knowing that I will be able to sleep in the next day anyway. Well, I can, but that would immensely affect my mental performance (which I want to be 100% as much as possible, haha).

And as a corollary to the previous paragraph, I have to wake up quite very early for most days of the week because I have to go to work. I actually don’t have to be up THAT early, but no thanks to MRT, I had to if I want to eschew the long lines that exponentially increase the amount of travel time with each later minute I stay at home.

I don’t get to enjoy the student discount on the bus anymore! Though I still get to say “SM North po, estudyante”, it’s not for me but for my nephew who studies in Pisay.

I don’t get to randomly have evening social plans because I have to worry whether or not I get to come home early enough. Again, technically I can, but I would have to suffer the consequences, haha!

Basically, I’m living the hectic life of a yuppie. This is what my friends have been talking about for years already whilst I continued to slave in the academe! Haha!

There are many things I’m unable to do now that I’m working compared to when I was still a student. Yes, these were pleasurable perks, but make no mistake, I’m not missing that life at all. Surely, the changes I had to adjust to required a lot of effort on my part. But I know that these would always bear fruit – every 15th of the month to be exact. Haha! And these fruits I excitedly harvest to enjoy things that I only used to dream of enjoying – not only for myself, but also for my friends and loved ones.

"Welcome to the adult world! Before you know it, miss mo na ang college life. Actually, wala namang difference. It'll only make your character more defined..."~Ate Mennen, on her guestbook message on my graduation party

Price Tag

2011-07-03T04:23:00.004+08:00

Last Thursday, I made a fruitful trip to SM Pampanga, where I had my laptop serviced, watched a movie, bought a bunch of stuff I needed for work and for pleasure, and drank an expensive grande cup of blended coffee. There was a lot of waiting in between, so as a result, there was a lot of thinking, observing and reflecting too. I thought I'd share them here.

********

"Why is every so serious? Acting so damn mysterious."

I’m the type who would enjoy going to the mall alone. It’s not that I’m a loner and that I wouldn’t enjoy having someone with me. It’s just that when I’m off to the mall for personal reasons (to buy something for myself, get a haircut, buy groceries, etc), I’d prefer to do it on my own.

Having someone around as I run some personal errands is a hassle for me. I wouldn’t want to keep someone endlessly waiting as do my thing because more often than not, I like to take my time and wisely weigh on my purchases. (Snarky after thought: “wisely weigh” pala huh, haha. I should mean I’d rather not let anyone see how impulsive I can get when buying stuff. Haha!)

Of course, if that someone wouldn’t mind waiting on me as I run my personal errands and would even consider the time as bonding, that would be another story. Yikee.

**********

"When the sale comes first and the truth comes second, just stop for a minute and smile."

CDR-King has the worst system ever. For a store chain that actually sells high tech stuff, why the hell it wouldn’t use bar code scanners or some other gadgetry to improve the efficiency of its cashier counters is beyond me. Wait, each store only has ONE cashier counter! What’s the point of having multiple sales attendants if the queue for payments is just one?! Haha! Haay, if not for its affordable prices and wide array of products, CDR-King won’t prosper to what it is now. I mean, one doesn’t exactly to CDR-King for its proven quality. That is why I usually visit the store when I’d have many things to buy already because I wouldn’t dare go through the hell of waiting and queuing for a single item.

If you have to wait for long, make the most out of it. If you only have to buy one important item, do consider buying other stuff, too. After all, CDR-King is slowly becoming a department store. It is now selling pillows and kitchen ware. And even “do-it-yourself” fans! Haha!

**********

"Everybody look to their left, everybody look to their right"

Haha! Para lang may ma-connect na lyrics!

I finally got to watch Transformers 3, while waiting for the Lenovo store to finish servicing my laptop. I’ve been itching to watch it since its first day of screening. I invited my two nephews to watch it but since it wasn’t gonna be my treat, they were less than optimistic about it, haha. And so I ended up watching it alone. Boy, do I love doing things alone, huh? Haha.

My sister asked me how I could enjoy watching movies alone. I told her it’s not like we can talk to each other while watching (that would be annoying to other moviegoers). But yeah, I see her point. It is indeed more enjoyable to well, enjoy a movie with friends. But unlike shopping alone (which I prefer most of the time), I’m more neutral when it comes to going to the movies solitarily. I love watching with friends, but watching alone isn’t so bad either.

I think I picked up this habit back in my early college days when I would want to watch a movie that my friends wouldn’t dare to watch. Plus, it’s cheaper that way. If you watch with friends, you are most likely to dine out after or before the movie. But if you watch alone, you can simply strut in the movie house and go straight home after. There’s no peer pressure to stay and linger (and end up spending more, haha).

But then, again, if there is somebody willing to be my movie buddy – on any crappy, shallow or guilty pleasure flick I want to watch, that would be great too. More than great even. Yikee.

**********

"Yeah, yeah, well, keep the the price tag and take the cash back. Just give me six strings and half a stack."

As an SM Advantage Card Member, SM Department Stores are my go-to stores for any stuff that I need is available in its sprawling floors. Yes, I’m a willing consumer slave to the Henry Sy business empire. And given that I had thick wad of gift checks and that it was a sale that day (exclusive to SM Advantage members booya), I bought some work clothes there.

What I love about department stores (of any mall) is the wide array of choices. You can go cheap or expensive as you indulge in your taste. Plus it’s quite comfortable. Except when the sales people start ganging up on you in a “tse-ng-buri-pang-anak-pang-kasal” kind of way. Hahaha!

I really hate it when they badger me as I look around. Sometimes, they can be quite of help, especially if you are not sure what you are looking for. But when they start being too pushy or they’re selling their merchandise too hard, I back away. Haha! I don’t like being pressured into buying something just because a stranger says so, especially when that stranger is being paid to say so. Well, I know that they are just doing their job (good for them!), but when I’m not interested on their product, I hate having to say no. I end up “nahihiya”. Silly, I know. Haha!

One thing is a mystery though. Ever wondered why the sales people on the inner wear section (under shirts, under wear, hankies, socks, etc) are more aggressive than the others? And my, the management does not scrimp on personnel on these sections! At any given time, there are just too many attendants than customers in these sections. Haha!

**********

"You got your shades on your eyes and your heels so high, that you can't even have a good time."

I’m generally patient when I’m in a queue for something, say cashier or being serviced in that store. Of course, I do get annoyed when the service is quite slow and inefficient but I normally just keep my snide comments to myself. But I become more irritated when other customers complain loudly and incessantly.

I do recognize that it is everyone’s right to express their opinion, and sometimes these complaints are not unfounded. I mean, after all, I am most probably experiencing the same crappy service. But there are those people who needlessly and rudely complain. For me, they just unnecessarily add more negative vibes in the atmosphere. Haha!

That is why I was so annoyed at this lady who was ahead in the line at the CDR-King payment counter. She kept complaining to the poor receipt lady that she has been waiting for an hour already and it’s taking more time for them to find a suitable plastic bag for the big pillow she bought. She repeated the phrase “Jusko isang oras akong naghihintay, napaka-pangit ng service ninyo” over and over again that I wanted to snap back at her, “Teh, sukat ba naman bibili ka ng unan, dito pa sa CDR-King. Ang luwang luwang sa Department Store o sa Blue Magic, bakit di ka doon bumili.” Haha!

It’s not that I’m too passive as a customer that I’d take poor service lying down. I do politely make comments when I feel like I deserve a better service. But I choose my battles. If excessive complaining won’t do me any good, then it’s not worth it antagonizing the store personnel. I mean, more often than not, the store’s inefficiency is often the fault of the store management or policy. Take for example the case of CDR-King. It’s not the fault of its sales attendants that the company chooses to stay in the medieval ages when printed and computerized receipts were not yet invented. So why take it out on them? Plus, as a consumer I was well aware that service in CDR-King is quite slow, so it was entirely my prerogative to put myself through that ordeal, haha.

But of course, when the attendant is particularly unhelpful or snarky or worse, even bitchy, then that is another story.

**********

"So we ain't gonna stumble and fall never, waiting to see a sign of defeat, uh uh

So we gonna keep everyone moving their feet, so bring back the beat and then everybody sing!

When it’s vacation time and I have no choice but to enjoy home-cooked meals for many times during the week, I have learned to accept that I stand to gain a few pounds. What I do try is minimize those “few pounds” so that I will have fewer pounds to shed when I’m off to Quezon City again.

My post-graduation vacation has been my longest in years. I tried to jog every now and then so as not to be completely sedentary but it wasn’t as regular as I have hoped because I actually wanted to lose weight during vacation for a change. So yes, admittedly, I’m fatter these days, haha. I know it's true when my shorts and pants that used to be loose are not that loose anymore, haha.

So imagine the humor when I shopped for undershirts. I kept asking for medium-sized samples, but a couple of sales attendants implied that I should be looking for the next bigger size.

First was when I asked if I could bring the medium shirt to the fitting room and check if it fits me well. The well-meaning attendant suggested that I bring the large one too, just so I won’t have to come back for it. Was he quite sure that the medium shirt won’t do and I’d eventually ask for the large one? Haha!

Second was when I was checking out polos. I tried one that I liked but it was too small for me (I honestly thought it would fit), so I asked if there a stock available for the medium size. There was none, and the attendant intimated that I should try the large one instead.

On both instances, I don't know if I was more amused than insulted, haha. But surely, this means I better start losing weight as soon as possible!

**********

"It's not about the money, money, money, we just wanna make the world dance, forget about the price tag..."

I spent an entire afternoon at the mall so I got to accomplish (read: buy) much. I didn’t spend that much money (those gift checks were a real boon! Haha!), but the whole time, I had to keep my budget in check.

I reckon I would have to do so more effectively from now on, especially since I will start earning my own keep. Naks, haha. I’m quite thankful that I got into a good company (believe me, I really didn’t expect to, but that is another story, haha) and so I am quite excited and hopeful to see how wisely (or unwisely) I will spend my money.

I think managing my salary would be more challenging and interesting than managing my allowance. But it’s not really because of the amount, because naturally, one is more generous than the other. How will it affect my spending habits since the money was worked for and not handed down? That I want to know! Haha!

********

"Why is everybody so obsessed? Money can't buy us happiness!"

In one of my job interviews, I was asked how much salary I was expecting. I wittingly answered that I should at least be paid more than what I used to get as an allowance from my parents when I was still a student, or else what’s the point of graduating. I’d rather stay as a student, haha! So the manager asked how much my allowance was and then told me we’ll talk rates once he’s done assessing further my application. He promised to call me in two days, but he never did. I was definitely qualified for the job so I believe it’s not because I wasn’t good enough. Now, looking back, I’m guessing he cannot afford me. Ako na! Haha!

Ain't No Sunshine - When Pinatubo Happened 20 Years Ago

2011-06-19T23:08:00.001+08:00

I don’t remember what I was doing when it all began. All I know is that strangely, it was so dark when it was supposed to be morning. It was a Saturday and I should have been out playing, but I couldn’t. What seemed like grey snow was already drizzling down from the sky.

Weirdly enough, even as the second most destructive volcanic eruption of the 20^th century was happening, I don’t remember being that scared. Maybe it was because I didn’t realize the gravity of the situation. It was my first time after all. It was the kind of experience that most of us would only get to read in elementary science books. I guess I was more amazed at the novelty of the natural phenomenon than terrified of its implication to our lives and to the rest of my province.

I don’t remember how or when it started, but suddenly, all our relatives from both sides of the family were trooping to our house. Literally everyone was there! There was not one unoccupied bed or seat in the house. Now for a 7-year-old kid who looks forward to seeing and playing with his cousins, that was actually quite fun. Haha! In fact, I was so unafraid and delirious to the situation that I even tagged along with my older cousins when they had to go back to their homes in Porac to evacuate more properties. And when I went out of our neighborhood and saw the devastation wrought upon everyone else, that was when it hit me – this eruption is no joke.

We never made it to Porac. The river bridge between Angeles and Porac was unable to endure the rampage of the volcanic flow from the mountains. Everyone with vehicles was stranded. We couldn’t move forward. And going back was just as hard because of panic and the heavy traffic. And it didn’t help that it was at that period when the climax of the eruption was happening. From the meek ash particles, rocks of various sizes were now plummeting down the sky.

**********

My more hardcore relationship with Pinatubo would come many years later. Except for the huge hassle of having to clean our roof and yard because of the thick ash that Pinatubo spewed into the atmosphere, we were quite fortunate to have not experienced extensive damage to our property from the actual eruption. What would really affect us in the future were the “unstable” rainy seasons year after year. Whenever it rained hard, the mountains would unleash a fresh new serving of lahar deposits that would bury one barangay after another, year after year.

Our town was spared during the eruption itself simply because San Fernando was situated in relatively higher ground. But when the time came when the lower-lying towns were already wiped out by lahar, they became the “higher ground” and consequently, we were now the “lower ground”. There was a year when we had to evacuate many of our stuff in the house so that if worst comes to worst that San Fernando will be finally devastated, we could leave behind not so valuable properties. There was no ref. We had to sleep in mattresses. And our tables and chairs were so small, haha.

We only had to evacuate once during a November storm, but every storm that passes by was a challenge (and take note, MANY storms pass by the Philippines in any given year). Thank God it was a false alarm and we didn’t lose our home. But the experience was bad enough to scare the shit out of me. I actually thought we were going be homeless and poor! I was a spoiled little brat then, so yes, it was quite a big deal. Haha!

In 1995, lahar buried my school, Don Bosco Academy and we had to share rooms with St Scholastica’s Academy for the rest of the school year.

**********

Twenty years after, it’s astounding how Pampanga recovered from the wrath of Pinatubo. Buried towns years ago are now recovering, people have started to go back to their original homes and start anew.

I won’t go on and point out all the good stuff, haha, but suffice to know that all in all, the Mount Pinatubo eruption forged a certain resilient character in every Kapampangan, in every facet of his life. Although our province would be famous for other things too later on, some of which are quite shameful (I’m looking at you, PGMA), but the way our province rose from ashes is one thing all Filipinos will admire.

And as a Kapampangan, it is something I will always be proud of. Kapampangan ku, pagmaragul ku.

Blue Jeans

2011-06-09T21:58:00.002+08:00

It’s been about three weeks since I graduated from college and about a month and a half since I submitted my last academic requirement. What have I been up to since then? Well, before the actual graduation, I had to attend to graduation-related requirements and did some initial job hunting. And since the actual graduation, I kept busy with the preparations for my graduation party and a few more job-hunting appointments. All time in between, I'm living the bum life. And man, am I relishing every moment of it!

Classes have started for my college buddies who haven’t graduated yet. So naturally, there’s a constant feed of school-related posts on Facebook. Having graduated only recently, these posts got me wondering if I miss school. And with relentless conviction – the answer was no. Haha!

I know many of you disagree and will say I will eventually eat my words about not missing school, and that soon enough, I myself will wish I were still a student. Having been stuck in college for 10 whole years, missing school is not within the realm of my thoughts and reflections in these days that I’m as idle as a bum could get. Well, at least not yet!

During the time when I was still a student but I really shouldn’t have been anymore (read: my delayed years, haha), my older friends who were already working would say, “Buti ka pa nga, student ka pa rin. Ako kaya, gusting gusto ko mag-aral ulit.” I’d reply, “Huwag mo sa akin sabihin iyan, gustong gusto ko na kayang maka-graduate!” But they would go on and on about the reasons why they’d give anything just to be able to go back to schooling and what I should be savoring.

So how about listing those numerous reasons now, and let’s see how long will it take for me to actually embrace these reasons as mine, too?

“You’ll miss being a student and studying.” They say that I will miss the classroom environment wherein I get to learn a lot of things every single day. At work, there won’t be as many opportunities to learn something new. Papers, projects, exams – these are things we normally hate about school! But these are the very things I will miss, if only for the excitement and rush they bring to our lives, haha.

Will I or won’t I? I don’t think I’ll miss this if I take on a career path that will still involve a lot of learning. Life is a constant learning experience anyway. Maybe it won’t be in a classroom setting, but there will still be learning.

“You’ll miss receiving an allowance”. Being dependent to your parents (or whoever is supporting you) is such a normal thing when you’re a student. You’re not expected to work for it, but money will be given to you. Of course, there will be times when you would have to exert more sweet effort to obtain it, but still, it will be given unto you.

Will I or won’t I? When you’re 26 and you’re still receiving allowance, that is not something to be proud of. ‘Nuff said.

“You’ll miss having school breaks or enjoying suspension of classes.” The feeling of seeing a flashing “Classes are suspended at all levels” on the TV screen is irreplaceable! Haha! Sembreaks, summer breaks, Christmas breaks – these are things that a student can look forward to after weeks and weeks of hard school work. Plus, when the weather is bad enough, you get a free day! When you’re already working, all you have are two-day weekends, and probably three-day weekends every three months or so.

Will I or won’t I? I guess this is one perk I will miss the soonest. Just this day, classes were suspended because of typhoon Dodong.

“You’ll miss dressing comfortably.” When you’re student, you can wear anything you want (at least for those who study in universities where there is no uniform). You can easily adjust your attire to the weather. But not when you’re working. I’ll be lucky if I will get to work in a company that allows smart-casual attire but if for example I would have to power dress every single work day – good luck to me on severe weather conditions! Haha!

Will I or won’t I? Wearing work clothes is actually something I am looking forward to. There is something about work clothes that makes you seem more mature and at times, even more handsome (and eligible, haha).

“You’ll miss having a social life”. They say I will be sooo busy with work to have time for anything else.

Will I or won’t I? Now this is a legitimate concern. But I guess it’ll depend on my future job. A lot of my college friends lost touch when they started working. I would always think that no one is THAT busy to even text every now and then. But what do I know, I am not yet in the critical position wherein the company’s operations depend on me.

“You’ll miss the student discount”. I’ve been enjoying this perk for quite a while now. Soon enough I will be enjoying the Senior’s Citizen’s discount. Haha!

Will I or won’t I? Of course I won’t, haha! When you’re working and fortunately, well-compensated, saving up to P40 per week will be the least of your concerns.

“You will miss having to delay adult decisions”. Well, when we’re still a student, we are still accountable to the people who pay our tuition, more often than not our parents. Although personal problems in college do level up, there will always be the escape option wherein we won’t have to make crucial adult decisions all the time.

Will I or won’t I? Oh I can’t wait to start making adult decisions for myself. Yes, I know it won’t be easy. But I am more than ready for the challenge.

*********

In all honesty, I am not missing school at all. Sure I miss my friends and classmates, but not the school nor the student status. I mean come on, having spent a whole decade for college alone, I have managed to experience practically everything that I want to experience. And with high frequency at that!

I don’t miss the classes. I don’t miss the thrill of meeting deadlines. I’ve had more than enough of that. It’s time to take on new challenges. It’s time for me to go to the next level. It’s time for me to go out into the “real world”. And it’s been a long time coming. :D

One thing I know I will grow to miss though is the great set of friends I’ve met in school. Well, one great thing about friendships is that we can continue nurturing it wherever life takes us. It’s just a matter making the effort. I won’t have to miss them – not if I can help it.

This is where I am now, and I know this is where I should be. Well, I wanted to be here sooner, haha, but well, when life throws you a curveball, you just have to be patient. I've lived a full student life. I've extracted every experience and lesson I can get from it. It's time for new experiences and for new lessons to be learned. And damn, I can't wait to start wearing black slacks instead of blue jeans! :D

Don't Stop Believin'

2011-05-20T04:07:00.002+08:00

Ten years ago, I was up on a podium, uttering these exact words: “What we know now isn’t enough. Being the valedictorian is not even a guarantee that I will be among the triumphant ones. Nor the below average students be sure losers of the future.”

I can’t help but laugh at the ominous humor of what I declared a full decade ago. Back then, I said those words for mere illustration and I didn’t really believe them. I knew that it was possible. But one would have to screw up big time for it to actually come true. And it came true in my case indeed, haha!

Most graduates would celebrate their graduation because of what they have achieved. After all, isn’t that what commencement exercises and recognition rites are for? At the very least, we all worked so hard to achieve that diploma that serves as proof that we are made of something relevant, great and worthwhile. For those of us who were extra hard-working and diligent, awards and honors were given. Graduation is all about celebrating these milestones that mark years of struggle and learning.

But I am looking at this graduation of mine from a different, more personal perspective. It’s not just about finishing a damn degree nor about receiving recognition that’s proof-positive that I am truly one of the best. I am not just celebrating an accomplishment. I am honoring an entire college experience – all the significant ups and disastrous downs included. Others graduated with the same college degree and diploma, but I am extra proud of all the hoops I had to go through just to get it.

In Aguman, we were taught that in order to truly appreciate something (pardon the sudden code switch, but the emphasis is better in our own language) – “kailangang igapang mo”. And boy, did I do exactly just that.

Of course, I’m not saying that incurring more than 20 failed grades and being dismissed from a prestigious university is the way to go, haha, or that I’m better than those who graduated on time or received honors. Excellence is still and will always be the ideal path to greatness. It’s just that sometimes, life diverts you to a detour that is traditionally not what you dreamt for yourself. More often than not, it’s your fault anyway. So do you just sulk at your sad, sad fate and surrender all hope or would you rather play on and fight for a comeback? I chose the latter. I’m not proud of any of my numerous failures, but I am of the each time I never stopped trying.

So what is my point? I guess the next bunch of clichés adequately says it all:

“Try and try until you succeed.”

“Don’t cry over spilled milk.”

“Keep moving forward.”

And my all-time favorite – “Charge it to experience!”

“Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him.“

~Aldous Leonard Huxley, Texts and Pretexts, 1932

Do I have regrets? Well, yes. After all, I failed to achieve something great and exclusive and I’m not going to pretend that it won’t be a life-long frustration. I find it silly to say “no regrets” when we know for a fact if we had the chance, we would do things differently in order to achieve the better outcome. But will I dwell on these regrets? Hell to the Mercedes Jones no. Despite its victorious ending, my college experience is not something I will wish on someone, haha. But this experience is already mine, so I will squeeze all the good that I can from it. The glass has always been half-full for me, instead of half-empty. And I am definitely more than the sum of my parts.

In my heart, I will always have two college alma maters, even if one dismissed me and the other welcomed me in open arms, haha. I only graduated from the latter and purists can argue that I have no claim to the prestige of the former because I wasn’t good enough for it. The I hell I care, haha! Because really, both instilled in me the very values that I know will lead me to somewhere great. UP taught me the noble worth of honor and excellence in whatever I do, while AMA reminded me of how great I can be for as long as I keep trying.

There's mistakes that I have made, some chances I just threw away,
Some roads, I never should've taken, been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds, that I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference, the past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned, some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

~"Lessons Learned" by Carrie Underwood

Champagne Life

2011-05-02T04:11:00.008+08:00

The past two weeks have probably been the most relaxed two weeks of my life for the past decade. And it is telling that it also happened to be the first two weeks of my post-college life. Haha.

I can’t remember the last time I have been this relaxed and excited. Well, my Christmas breaks in 2009 and 2010 were also stress-free. Thanks to the trimestral schedule in AMACU, those holiday breaks were also school breaks, so I didn’t have any school-related dilemma that would linger at the back of my mind that would prevent me from truly relishing the euphoria of the season. What is different with the past two weeks though is the fact that I actually won’t have to go back to school again. It’s not just a temporary hiatus from academic stress. It’s actually for good!

The past two weeks have also been jampacked with various activities and appointments that catered to different facets of my life. There was the job application appointment that went quite well. There were the many times I spent at church as a member of our parish’s ComLec Guild, rightfully serving for His glory. And of course, those numerous social get-togethers that I had with high school friends, housemates, orgmates, playmates and guildmates. It wasn’t quite easy on the pocket, haha, but I was more than happy to shell out more than I usually do – it was worth every single penny. It was vacation time after all, so I also was able to finally accomplish some of the things that I’ve been meaning to once I get the ample time. Catch up on some of my favorite TV series (as if doing this took a back seat, even at the busiest point of my most recent trimester, haha). Give my pets a bath and finally address their lice problem, haha. Take my jogging/running habit more seriously – got to jog 5 times for this two-week period, which is more than twice than the usual in the same amount of time. And lastly, sleep without have having to worry what time I should wake up the next day. Yeah! Haha!

I’m just over the moon right now. And the best is yet to come. More wonderful things are coming up for the next few weeks and the excitement just compounds the bliss and contentment I feel right now. I’m usually wary and skeptical whenever I experience extended periods of peace and happiness, haha, but this time, I know deep in my heart that it’s going to be a while before this wonderful season passes.

My life isn’t exactly perfect. There are still many things that I need to address, and a lot more I know I will have to face in the near future (these are new challenges!). There are still many things that I want – both material and not. But I guess I’ve learned to be more confident of myself and trust that whatever happens in the future, there’s nothing I cannot handle.

Besides, I sooo deserve the pleasure the past two weeks have bestowed on me. Considering how much shit life has thrown me for the past years, I say that this just pretty much covers for it, hehe. More generously even, than I have ever hoped.

Seven Things

2011-04-13T21:09:00.004+08:00

1) No matter how hard you try to make up for your past mistakes, they will still haunt you one way or another.

2) I still miss our dog Cooper. Realizing how unruly and naughty Haley and Penny are makes me miss Cooper more.

3) One of the worst pet peeves I have is whenever someone whines over spilled milk. An offshoot is someone who complains and complains even as he or she is not the one who bears the brunt of the problem. Often, they complain more than the people who actually try to solve the problem. That is such a politician thing, right?

4) I’m about to end my “college student” era and start a new one as a “worker”. Walking around Makati earlier today and seeing all these people around me all dressed up in fancy work clothes reminded me of how excited I am.

5) My major, major mistakes and what I did to correct them (in my 26 years of life, Sir, haha) are part of who I am. I recognize that I shouldn’t have made them in the first place, but since I already did, might as well make the most out of them.

6) Jealousy makes one’s insecurities throb in your consciousness more than they should.

7) I subscribe to the school of thought that actions speak louder than words. Thus, I don’t think I have to prove myself anymore, given that what I do is more than ample. And so, if I have to try so hard to prove my worth to somebody or to own my rightful place, I don’t think it’s actually worth it. It’s not my fault if you can’t see it.

Bye Bye Love

2011-03-28T00:43:00.005+08:00

You left as surprisingly as you came into our lives. I just woke up one morning and the kids were already playing with you – then the new puppy.

It was love at first sight. It helped a lot that you were so damn cute, but the moment I first carried you into my arms and you licked me, I just knew – you will be the dog I’ve longed for all these years.

You were quite the handsome fella, but I wasn’t really sure if you had a special breed. You only knew two things that I can remotely call as “tricks” – 1) you sit when I tell you so, and 2) when I say “pagpag!” during your baths, you shake off your whole body to get rid of the excess water in your coat. I admit though, you only sit because I force your butt down on the floor, and you “pagpag” because well, isn’t that the natural dog instinct once the water stops splashing? But since you’re my dog and I love you, I firmly believe that you actually understood what I was saying.

You came at a point when I was just recovering from the one of the lowest points of my life. I was struggling to adjust in a new world and you were adjusting to your new home. You were one of the things that I looked forward to whenever I went home. Just as the tricycle would come around the bend of our street, I could hardly contain the excitement of seeing you waiting for me in front of the gate. And now, whenever I’d come home – you won’t be there. Our yard will be void of your loyal and effervescent canine energy.

**********

You were the best dog ever. Bar none.

You were obedient. You never developed the habit of chomping on our slippers because when I told you not to when you were a puppy, you actually listened.

You were well-behaved. You would bark at people coming into our house by default but when we’d tell you it’s okay because they’re friends, you’d humbly retreat to your corner and continue your afternoon sleep.

You were friendly. Almost everyone in our street knew you and whenever you’re out in the street, you never needlessly ran after people passing by.

You were fun. You’d dart after the kids in the basketball half-court and would stay with them as they play, as if they were your responsibility until they were safe back home.

You were affectionate. You would always come enthusiastically running whenever we called you. You were rarely moody and snobbish. When we’d want to play with you at a time when you were quite tired and sleepy, you would at least come up and greet us, and then you’d just simply go back to resting, as if politely telling us to take rain check.

You were a true member of the family. Not only to us your humans, but also to your four feline co-pets. We always took pride at how you and the clowder got along. Even after so many months, Kachi and Kichi were still on their guard whenever you’d tease-chase them. They would claw you in retaliation and you would be so frustrated whenever they’d climb a height you couldn’t reach .There was even an instance when the two new puppies, Haley and Penny, just arrived and you were barking at them for terrorizing Tom and Jerry, as if scolding them to not gang up on the cats. Naturally, the two girls didn’t know yet how to amicably deal with the cats because it was still in their instinct to wildly chase after them.

These are all the things we will miss about you, Cooper. Now I feel bad for Haley and Penny, because they have quite the big shoes to fill in now that you’re gone. And it sucks that you were gone too soon.

I think we just watched “Marley & Me” a few months back and I remember wishing we’d have someone like Marley in the family. And then we got you. You never lasted as long as Marley did, but boy, you left a legacy just as commendable.

**********
We did many things together but my favorite bonding with you is whenever I’d give you a bath. Every Saturday afternoon were the only times you wouldn’t come running forward when I’d call you because you knew what it meant, haha. You would make me come to you instead. I’ll put you on the leash and although you’d protest at first, eventually you’d relent because you knew you had no choice. “Cooper, you we have to do this,” I’d remind you. Like I said, I’ve always believed in my heart you understood Kapampangan and English.

Believe it or not, it’s not like I enjoy giving you a bath either. Asna ka pamong ka-dungis neng kayi! Haha! But I knew it was something I had to do and because what would follow after were the best moments we would share every week.

I would towel dry you off, check your coat for lice and then I’ll hug you and you will lay in my lap until you’ve finally ‘recovered from the trauma of the bath’ and then you’d beg to be let out in the streets to play with the kids.

Those were my favorite moments with you. You’d bury your face into my almost wet clothes (wet from the bath I just gave you) and as I continuously pat you dry, we chat about anything under the sun. I’d tell you how my week was and I’d ask you how yours was, too. I’d rant to you my problems and the various people that were a pain in the ass in various degrees. And in times when I was especially feeling blue, I’d eventually yearn to tell you how lucky you were and how I envy you because you were just a dog, which means you never had to contend with the hardships of human life. And then I’d realize how much of a baby I was over the shallowest of things – wanting to be a dog instead was just too absurd of a solution to my woes. Haha! And there you go, you make me feel better and realize what’s really important by just being you – by just being there for me.

***********

It really hurts you had to leave us so soon. I’ve been crying for nights now whenever it would hit me that I will never see you again in our yard; that I will never get to play with you again; that I will never get to hug you again (no matter how dirty you’d become over the course of the week).

It sucks even more that I wasn’t there to comfort you when you were fighting the unimaginable pain caused by whatever disease shit that so suddenly, mysteriously and swiftly took you away from us earlier this week. You were always there for me, for us. And I couldn’t be there with you. I wasn’t able to properly say goodbye.

RIP Cooper, June 12, 2009 - March 22, 2011

I don't even have adult pictures of you.

Malay ko bang mawawala ka agad no. Tsk.

But I take solace in the fact that you know you were loved – because I’d tell you that a lot when you were still here. You were well taken cared of, and in return, you played the part of being the pet so perfectly.

So all in all, I’d say it was a great run, right? It was just a few months less than two years but it was eventful in every single way. It was time well spent but I guess you had to go. So, bye bye, love.

Someone Like You

2011-03-10T00:39:00.003+08:00

I've had my heart sort of broken before, but it wasn't as epic as this song would say. I hope I wouldn't have to sing this song someday. Haha! The song is so haunting and amazing at the same time. The presenter said it best:

"There's nothing quite like the feeling when you're listening to a song, written by someone you don't know, whom you've never met, who somehow manages to describe exactly how you felt at a particular moment in your life... If you've ever had a broken heart, you're gonna remember about it now."

I've had many friends who've broken up for lots of clichéd reasons. Thank God though that most of these breakups I've had to see my friends through were all for the better -- they allowed for my friends to find the real "One". But until they did so, it was pretty rough for them. Pretty, pretty rough.

"Sometimes it lasts in love. But sometimes it hurts instead." Tongenuh. Haha!

I Run To You & I'd Lie

2011-03-04T21:38:00.005+08:00

I haven’t been seeing You for about three weeks now. When one deliberately ignores another in that amount of time, it’s easy to deduce that that person isn’t important. For this, I'm sorry. I really am.

But look now, when my mind and heart fail me, as intelligent and wise as they purported to be, it’s You I immediately turn to. When all else fails, I run to You.

You. As in capital You. So please grant me all the wisdom, maturity, understanding and patience to deal with this. I could really use some help.

*************
Okay, so we’re in a precarious situation aren’t we? We usually are playing on the same side of the court. That’s what almost 5 years of proximity will do to people.

To read more, click here.

Isang Linggong Pag-Ibig

2011-02-21T03:40:00.005+08:00

Or not.

Valentine’s week can be a tough one for single people. True enough, I’ve read quite a number of lovelife-related or lack thereof posts on my Facebook feed on the run-up to February 14. Some were funny, some were bitter. Some were trying to be funny because they were really just that bitter. Haha!
But how was it for me? Well, it was a fantastic one. But in a lot of ways I didn’t expect.

*Red Ribbon Chocolate Fudge cake on Valentine’s Day with housemates – our own simple Valentine treat to ourselves. Haha!
*Started my OJT at EDS Innoventions – it’s just a small company but I think I will like it there. Been complaining about having to wait for what seems like forever for 5pm though. Haha!
*Frutti Froyo and Love Talk 101 with Mommies Grace and Joyce
*Debate antics at our ENGL 05 class – we didn’t win but I think it was enjoyable, haha.
*Got deluged with insane compliments on my culinary skills – from people I haven’t even personally met! Haha.
*Long overdue bonding with Gino. Finally got my awesome sun jar – it’s lit up right now.
*Almost done with my thesis manuscript – waiting on one more go signal and I’m off to the UP Shopping Centre to have my copies hard bound.
*One of my closest friends got engaged! Oh, wedding bells will be annually ringing in our inner circle. Haha!
*Simulation case study final proposal got approved. Required tasks are really easier accomplished when you like what you’re doing.
*Internet at the apartment is finally back!
*Finally found a copy of Sidney Sheldon’s Master of the Game. I’ve been craving to read this epic novel again for a long, long time now.

Considering that it was Valentine’s week, I was hardly ecstatic for romantic reasons, but hey, I’ll have my dose of a great week whenever I can.

“The thing is about the one that got away if he (she) was meant to be in your life then he (she) would have found his (her) way back to you. So you’ve moved on, you chose a different road. Good. Keep your eyes on that. If you’re always looking in the rear view mirror, you’re gonna miss the turn you need to make in the road ahead of you. And believe me, there’s always plenty of road ahead of you. Focus on that.”

~Brothers & Sisters Season 5, Episode 14

Proud Mary

2011-01-11T18:43:00.009+08:00

Last week, we learned that my nephew, Jasper, passed the entrance exam of Philippine Science High School and made the cut for the flagship campus in Diliman.

This is really exciting news for the family. If I’m not mistaken, he’s the first member of the family to have done so. It’s like having the first doctor or lawyer in the family. Haha! Well, I don’t mean to brag, but I’m not really surprised that Jasper made it. He’s like one of the smartest members born in our family, both mother’s and father’s side. After me, that is. HAHA. Wait this post isn’t about me and my awesomeness.

Jasper has always exhibited an exceptional kind of genius. While other babies’ first tricks would range from being able to walk or talk early, Jasper was already able to enumerate the nine planets, twelve months and seven days of the week. And most especially, sing the first few lines of the Backstreet Boys song, “I Want It That Way”. Haha! He went on to memorize other bunch of stuff and eventually develop exceptional skills in Math, thanks to our guidance (Haha! Parang totoo) and his Kumon training. He has been winning Math competitions since he was in Grade 1, so imagine the added pride of our family when he started to win literary competitions too. Siya nang perfect! Haha!

Studying in Pisay Diliman has always been one of his dreams. I don’t know how he became so passionate about this dream considering that there’s no precedent in or influence from the family. I’m excited for all the wonderful adventures he will have when he starts high school in Diliman. It will be a whole new world for him. And definitely more challenging at that. Haha!

The only downside to this is he won't be able to join UP Aguman's Pautakan or Sining. Tsk, sayang. Haha!

********
Yesterday, the Registrar finally finished the evaluation of my transcript and records and finalized the remaining requirements I need to complete in time for graduation. 12 units left, baby! 12 units left to hurdle and I will finally get hold of that elusive college diploma. Haha! My enrollment this week will be my last. Phew.

How do I feel about it? Well, excitedly relieved of course. It’s about freakin’ time that I do so! While my contemporaries are already high in the ladder of their careers, getting married and settling down, here I am still a student. Haha!

Which is why I am starting to get anxious of the coming months. Right now, I have no major worries left but once I graduate from college come May, it will be brand new ballgame for me. My over-over-overextended stay in college has allowed me to master it, haha, and now I have to realize that when it comes to the “next level”, there is still so much to learn.

But it’s okay. I think I have enough confidence of my personal resilience and mental acumen to know that I will be okay. Yes, once I start to apply jobs, I will most probably get nervous, unsure and even insecure. But, just like the other challenges I’ve had beforehand, I just have to be patient and focus on the more important stuff to sustain my self-esteem.

It will be a strange and unfamiliar world for me, but the way I see it, starting my career would just be another new challenge that I must face and conquer. Let’s see if I will still be this enthusiastic when it finally starts. Haha!

Welcoming 2011 - Dog Days Are Over

2011-01-02T14:44:00.059+08:00

As a whole, 2010 was one of the best years I’ve had in recent memory. While 2009 started cruelly low but ended peacefully high, 2010 pretty much continued the euphoria all year round. Of course it wasn’t perfect all throughout, but don’t you agree that it’s the problems and issues that come your way every now and then that makes the year much more exciting? Hehe!

To help me in my reminiscence, I decided to seek the help of Facebook. Our Facebook profiles have become such reliable documentary records of our lives, what with all the random statuses and links we post.

TV SERIES
My wall was replete with rants and raves about my favorite TV series. Some officially ended (Ghost Whisperer, FlashForward and Ugly Betty), but I discovered new ones (Lie To Me, The Good Wife, Modern Family, The Big C)! So overall, it was a great TV year for me. Hehe!

ELECTIONS
2010 was an election year for the Philippines. We actually had two – one in back in May and another one back in October. The Presidential Election was quite eventful in terms of issues simply because it was hotly contested and it was a point in our history where we as a people were in a very important crossroad. Whether we chose the right path, we have yet to find out. The barangay election in late October was quite personal for me because my brother-in-law ran for Councilor. He lost, but not without bitter stories to tell. Haha! The thing is, despite and in spite of the seemingly hopeless case that is the Philippines, I’m not giving up just yet.

NEW HOBBIES
2010 saw me having three important endeavors and hobbies – badminton, cooking and driving.

Driving is a necessary skill in life so me finally learning how to do so all these years is more of a relief than an achievement, haha! I finally got a driver’s license and I am now able to drive on my own. And I must say, I am actually enjoying it!

I’ve always liked playing badminton as a child but this year, I brought this childhood pastime to a whole new level this year, haha! It all started back in summer when my Aguman friends decided to play. We always had such a wonderful time so played as often as our schedules allowed us. I decided to take this interest seriously because I invested on a badminton racket of my own.

Just like driving, cooking is more of an important life skill than just a random hobby, haha! I decided to buy a gas stove and an LPG tank for the apartment back in late July. At first I thought it would just mean that it’ll be more convenient to prepare my quick dinners and the cheesecakes that I sell. But it eventually turned into some sort of a hobby because I ended up wanting to learn more recipes so that I can vary what me and my housemates eat. Others have pointed out that’s it’s a little unfair that I always do the cooking and they just eat, but I don’t really mind. The way I see it, I’m actually hitting two birds in one stone – it feels I'm "looking out" for them on a whole new level and that feels nice, and I also get to improve my culinary skills. I say it’s a win-win situation for all of us – we all get to eat good food after all. Naks! Haha!

COMLEC
2010 brought me closer to the Lord because I finally signed up for the Commentators and Lectors Guild of our parish. I had the honor of serving Him via ComLec and I can say that it’s as fulfilling and meaningful as I thought it would be. Plus, it was more exciting because I met new wonderful friends and all in all, it was a truly self-enriching endeavor.

CHEESECAKE SALE and LOADXTREME
Because of my extended stay in college, I’ve looked for ways to earn extra income because I didn’t want to be too dependent on the allowance that my parents give me. There was a time when I was an online English tutor to Japanese, haha! This year, I engaged in two business mini-ventures to sort of augment my monthly allowance because I admit, I am not really the frugal kind of person, haha! One was the loading business I which I actually started in late 2009. I don’t really make much and in fact it’s more of a hassle during times when I have more accounts receivable from friends than actual cash on hand, haha! But for as long as they pay in the end, it’s all good. In essence, I still earn extra.

The other one is far more lucrative – cheesecakes sale. Making homemade cheesecakes was just a fun hobby I started way back in 2008 but when my sister and I decided to give away cheesecakes for Christmas last year, my friends told me I should turn it into an actual business. Yes, my cakes are THAT good. Hehe! It also allowed me to improve my culinary skills some more because I was able to experiment on a lot of new flavors.

ISSUES
2010 was a great year for me, albeit it was also quite controversial. Haha! What’s ironic is that the core issues weren’t even mine to begin with, and yet I eventually got sucked into the whirlpool of he-says-she-says melee. Other would argue that I voluntarily involved myself anyway or that I was actually the one who concocted these “issues”, haha. You know, I’m the fabled boy who cried wolf. But really, it’s just that the people who mattered in these various issues just didn’t have the courage to clean their own messes and the debris fell on the unfortunate souls who were within their social and emotional vicinity.
Also, I maintain up to this day that whatever they want to say, to believe or to accuse me of, I can guarantee two things – I never lied, and that I never assumed or believed stuff without hard proof.

SINGAPORE
It all started with a simple Facebook status by my college buddy who was visiting our friends who work in Singapore. I innocently joked about being packed as one of her hand carry luggage so that I can come with her. Within hours, it was like a won a radio contest – I was flying to Singapore for free! I can even begin to describe how wonderful that weekend in November was for me. First of all, I can’t thank my friends, Ate Maan, Kuya William and Dadai, enough for their generosity, haha! I’ve always known that as one of my closest friends ever, they’d “do anything for me”. But I never imagined it would actually include buying me non-promo round trip tickets to visit them in Singapore! Well, obviously they can afford it but I was deeply touched by the gesture. Secondly, because of the that trip, I applied for a “loan” before I even got to have my first career job. Haha! I borrowed moola from my parents for my pocket money. I promised to pay when I’m already working, hehe! Which should be anytime soon because…

THESIS
Ah, this is the year that the good Lord has made! Haha! After two botched attempts (actually, three if I’ll count the one where I wasn’t even able to have an approved proposal, haha), I finally finished my undergraduate thesis. Oh yeah! I know it’s been a long time coming but I don’t care anymore, haha! I am done! Woot! I must say, it wasn’t smooth sailing. There was a point wherein I thought I might fail to deliver yet again, but it turns out I didn’t have to worry at all, haha! And I have a lot of people to thank! This is one giant step towards that elusive college diploma! :D

A WEDDING AND AN ENGAGEMENT
This year was also a momentous one for my closest friends. Ate Maan and Kuya William got married last December 20, while Kuya Lang and Pie got engaged last December 12. Two realizations – when you’ve found The One, everything will simply fall into place and all will be alright; and that I’m really getting old! Haha!

I mean, when I met these guys, most of our problems revolved mainly on acads and petty teenage relationships, haha! Then years later, our topics shifted to more mature stuff like career and well, serious relationships. And now, in our recent get-togethers, we were talking about weddings, marriage and family life. My gard! Haha! I admit, I was a little stressed out because while my contemporaries were already making plans of settling down and looking out farther into their future, in the meantime I am yet to start my own career. But nah, it was just a teeny tiny thought. I remain more hopeful than cynical about my own future. Come on, with such inspirational relationship role models for friends, how can I not be? :D

So there! Those are the major highlights of my year. But before I end this post, allow me to acknowledge some essential things that have remained constant throughout the years.
*More fun times with my different circle of friends. There’s nothing more securing than being in the company of true and genuine friends. Along with my family, they are the reason I sailed through the rougher times of the year.
*For almost a decade now, our family is complete for the holidays! After my high school graduation in 2001, my parents shifted their annual vacation in the Philippines from March-April to December-January so that we can all be together for the holidays. And since it has happened every year since then, I never really got to appreciate the significance of the situation. I’m just super thankful that we get to enjoy this rare privilege.

Let me just end this year end post with my New Year’s Facebook status and the New Year’s text greeting I composed for my friends. For me, these two quotes perfectly sum up the year that was and optimistically welcome the year that will be.

********
2010, you've been a great and eventful year for me, albeit quite controversial and challenging, too. Haha! 2011, 2010 has given me so much that I don't know what to ask/expect from you anymore. Surprise me.
Happy New Year, everyone! (^^,)

2010 meant differently to all of us. Many of us had a great time for the most part. But sadly for some, the past year was not so kind, at certain points, even cruel. But that's all in the past now! 2011's a brand new year, a fresh new start -- another 12 months worth of surprises.
May we always savor the good surprises, and survive the not-so-good ones -- somehow convert them into something useful called "experience", haha!
Happy New Year! (^^,)

25 + 1 = 26

2010-12-30T04:19:00.014+08:00

20 + 1 = 21

“With age comes wisdom they say. This is what I answer to friends who chide me for getting old. There are still a lot of things that I still have to learn. For starters, I still don’t have a driver’s license. I’m 21, for crying out loud. I still can’t cook. So if I’d have to work abroad, I’m gonna starve or take-outs will just consume a bulk of my hard-earned dollars…”

21 + 1 = 22

"On my birthday, I was with the best possible set of friends. (I would've added 'family', but then again, I only have one family, there's no 'best possible set of family', hehe). Nothing could top that. EVER! Hehe!"

22 + 1 = 23

"My 23rd birthday definitely trumps my 22nd birthday, simply because it was more meaningful. No amount of panlilibre could beat the love (in different forms -- words, text messages, gifts, haha!) I received from my family and truest friends."

23 + 1 = 24

"Of course I know that with the rest of my life ahead me (and assuming I will have a long one, fingers crossed), I know that my 8 years in college would eventually mean not that much. But right now, at this current stage in my life, I'm just thankful for all the experiences I've had. Even the many bad ones! Because really, still standing after all of those makes me feel confident that I can face whatever comes my way."

24 + 1 = 25

"At 25, I feel like I’ve been through so much already and yet I know that there are still a lot of things I haven’t done that I should’ve done by now. But one thing is for sure, I know that my 25-year experience and the lessons I’ve learned from it will be what I would need to go through the next 25 years of my life. I know that this era will be much tougher."

************

Birthday Salubong with friends at CenterStage

I got this birthday salubong thing from Chico and Delamar (the DJs). Basically, I hang out with friends while waiting for 12 midnight to strike, signaling the start of my 26th birthday. It also served as our housemate's Christmas night out and a get together with more AguPips.

So there. No surprises this year, there goes the 4-year streak, haha! But hey, welcoming my birthday with the best company possible is just as touching and meaningful. Thanks to all my friends who stayed up late just for this birthday whim of mine. It was a weekday after all, many of them have work/classes/exams early the next day. ;D

************

I feel like I’ve run out of wise realizations for my birthday. I’ve been doing it year in, year out. As I looked back on my birthday posts for the past five years, there’s a common theme – “charge it to experience”, “hope for the best”! It is such a cliché that I cringe deep inside. Haha!

Para maiba naman: “Growing old is compulsory, but growin up is voluntary.”

I don’t remember anymore where I got the quote above. But that is what I want to celebrate this time, for I feel like I’ve done a lot of voluntary growing up in the past year. I can now drive and cook – something I ranted about in my 21st birthday post. Shit, it took me 5 years to address those two things! Haha!

For me, being a grown-up takes a lot of effort. It takes a lot of effort to act your age. It’s an everyday battle of what you should do and what you want to do. And mind you, grown-ups have to meet a lot of expectations, not only from those who are older, but also from those who are younger. Many times, I’ve found myself doing things that I don’t want to do or things that for me are not fair, but I do them anyway because it’s the right thing to do or that it’s my duty to do so. What is amazing though that if you let yourself do this more often, it’ll come to you naturally, eventually.

In the end, I guess it all boils down to one’s character, for not all adults grow up as fast as they grow old. I’m thankful that I’ve got many great role models. I learned and continue to learn from the best.

“Maturity is about how selfless you can be. It's not really about how much know and not just about how much you've experienced or learned from others before you -- it's also about how much you can genuinely do for others or paying it forward.”

~A late night realization of mine, posted on Facebook back in August 2010

Speak Now

2010-12-28T11:33:00.008+08:00

First of all, I don’t have to explain myself, my actions nor my plans. I have the right to do what I want to do. And when to do it. But alas, I'm forced to, if only to make sense of an issue that I am again being dragged into without my consent.

Secondly, it’s not like any of you emphasized that the activity was “for the alumni”. I’ve asked around, and so far, they all had no idea either. As touched as we are by the effort to invite us, none of us knew that the activity was prepared especially for us. We all thought it was just like any of your on-campus activities – that we can join in the fun if we want to. IF WE WANT TO.

To read more, click here. If you're allowed to view the note, you will be able to do so.

All I Ever Wanted/Needed

2010-11-25T21:13:00.002+08:00

Thanksgiving is not really a holiday here in the Philippines, but I have a lot of things and people to be thankful for -- even if things don't always get my way or I don't always get what I want. I would get into them one by one, but I should be doing something else tonight, so I will just save that for a more special post. Or if it is that person’s birthday. Haha!

I just want to say that if I were to assess my life at this point, I have many things to be thankful for. Never have I imagined what I turned out to be now, so it’s definitely an interesting surprise. It’s absolutely not what I planned for, nor is it the ideal situation for someone my age. But hey, you know what they say -- when life throws you lemons even as you wanted orange juice, then make lemonade instead! Or if it throws grapes, make wine! It’s just a matter of perspective.

So there, thanks for everything Lord! I know that you will always give me problems, because you designed life to be shitty like that, haha! But I am thankful You continuously give me the strength and wisdom to carry them well. Don’t stop now, please.

_______

When I was younger, whenever I drove my Mama nuts into buying something, she'd snapped back to me, "Think about it well, do you NEED this, or do you just WANT it? Because we only have money for our needs, not all our wants.."

And then I would end up sulking all the way home because deep in my heart, I knew my Mama was right. Haha!

I don't have all I ever wanted, but I think I have all I ever needed. :D

My Third Place

2010-11-22T00:20:00.008+08:00

Five years ago, the largest size of Zagu with extra pearl and crystals was as expensive as I can get when it comes to drinks. That's around P50. Fast forward to today, I would readily spend almost P200. Does it mean that I'm now a grown up that's why I can spend as much, or I just became more superficial? Haha!

Anyway, earlier this evening, I finally got to redeem my Starbucks 2011 Planner. This is the fourth time I've collected coffee stickers for an over-rated planner. First one was for the 2006 planner -- it had a lot of freebie coupons! I think the only reason I decided to collect was I knew I can easily afford it because I would have "birthday funds" come December. Back then, I still wasn't "into" Starbucks, mainly because it was so expensive and it was still considered a "luxury". But then, when you collect 21 stickers (that's 21 drinks!) for a fancy planner, you're bound to get addicted and acquire the sophisticated taste for signature coffee. More so, all those monthly coupons had to be used, so my relationship with Starbucks didn't end when I finally got what I wanted. It really got me hooked the whole year. I still drink those humble 3-in-1s though, haha!

The 2007 planner was so bulky but I guess out of a force of habit, I collected stickers for it anyway. Alas, it didn't have as many coupons. By this time, Starbucks for me was becoming less and less of a "luxury" purchase, but more and more of a "staple" gimik treat.

I didn't collect for the 2008 planner anymore because I guess I've learned my lesson -- the planner and the cost that comes with it just wasn't worth it. Really, it has become more of a status symbol than an actual self-organization tool. And everyone else was collecting for it! I had to be deviant. Haha! But to be honest, the planner wasn't that fancy-looking anyway and the only freebie was a measly pencil. Plus, I think I availed of the UP Centennial Planner instead.

The story was the same for the 2009 planner. I think I still didn't like the design. I still frequented Starbucks though (but not as much as I would if I were collecting stickers). I just relented my stickers to friends who collected.

In 2010, I became superficial again and decided to collect stickers again. This time, the designs were fancy enough and they came in three designs. How cool is that! Cool enough, I guess. Haha!

2010 is about to end and I can say with full honesty and humility (but not necessarily with regret) that I don't think I've utilized my planner to its fullest potential. As with the case of my previous planners, they were more of a logbook/diary of "what I did" instead of keeping track of "what I'm planning to do". The only "planning" I got to do with it was in the latter half of the year when I bought a stove for the apartment -- I used my planner to devise what dishes I would cook for me and my housemates. Haha!

When I redeemed my 2011 planner, I chose the red velvet design. It was labeled "My Third Place". Its explanation was in a form of a short quote:

It's not home;

it's not workplace.

It's that special place in between where

we meet to awaken our senses,

to find inspiration, and

to make lasting connections.

The third place --

this is what we have become for you,

our loyal customer, our friend.

I think I set two records this year. First, the earliest I was able to complete the set and redeem my planner. Granted, there were only 17 stickers this year (the fewest in the 4 years I've been collecting). But still, it's only November and I already have it. Whereas normally, I am only able to do so around the week of my birthday. Second, the least number of stickers bought by me. Haha! Thanks to my classmates and orgmates who always indulged me whenever I said, "Tara, Starbucks tayo!"

This Starbucks 2011 planner is brought to me in part by the following people: Ate Rochelle, Ate Grace, Vonash, Carou, Mike, Darryl, Justin (nephew) and Justin (orgmate).

The most expensive amount I ever spent of a signature cafe drink was earlier this evening too. But not at Starbucks! Haha! It was a large Apple Caramel Ice Blended drink from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. I met up with Justin (orgmate) there for the 1 last sticker I needed. Plus, he had to review for an accounting exam tomorrow and I had to do some acads stuff too. We hung at CBTL for the wifi, haha!

_______________

When I came back at our seat after I ordered..

Rex: Look, they gave me a promo card for the planner. *Shows Justin the card*.

Justin: Really? They didn't give me one. *Weirded out* Maybe because you looked like someone who would collect.

Rex: What does that say about you?

Both: Haha! (^^,)

Ktnxbai

2010-11-21T09:34:00.014+08:00

Truth is, I know you appreciate it. I know that deep inside, you do. But it's just that sometimes, I do wanna hear you say it. Even just say, once or twice a year? Like maybe in certain occasions wherein saying "thanks" wouldn't be too mushy and all.

I know that you appreciate it. I know and believe. I really do. But sometimes, considering and seeing how easily or often you show or tell other people your gratitude and appreciation, and how RARELY it happens when it comes to me -- this makes it so easy for me to forget that truth is, I know you appreciate it. I know you do.

But sometimes, just sometimes, I'm not so sure.

At talagang ito pa daw ang makakapagpa-blog sa akin after almost two months of katamaran. :D

"Brothers & Sisters" Season 5 Primer - Letting Go

2010-10-02T02:11:00.020+08:00

Most of my favorite TV series will be back this week. Hooray! So for those who didn't spend the last week or so "reviewing" the last episodes as preparation for the season premieres hoopla, here's a quick primer. Since I already watched the new episode when I watched it, I've thrown in my thoughts on it, too. :D

Previously on Brothers & Sisters!

Oh, it never runs out of drama within the Walker family. Eldest sibling Sarah was kind of down on herself because the family business she was running went bankrupt. But then, along with dad’s-former-mistress-turned-business-partner Holly, they finally discovered that Narrow Lake – the only major asset they had left, is standing on top of a huge aquifer, thus paving the way for the family to shift from the wine business to water. Well, the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. Okay, that is of no consequence here. Second eldest Kitty was running for Governor while senator-husband Robert was facing some tough high-security level type of political conspiracy/problem. Meanwhile, third eldest Tommy is still somewhere but home. Haha! That’s what happens to your character when the actor gets fired. Second youngest Kevin and husband Scotty were on their way to having a baby, thanks to their surrogate Michelle. Youngest Justin and wife Rebecca (daughter of Holly, so yes, his dad’s mistress is now his mother-in-law, haha) were having some minor marital problems because Justin wanted to do some volunteer work in Haiti for med school credits but Rebecca wanted to accept a new job. But both don’t want to be apart for a year so they didn’t know who should give way. Lastly, Uncle Saul tested positive for HIV but he hasn’t told anybody yet.

In the last episode, the whole family got together for some sort of food tasting for the restaurant that Saul and Scotty were planning to put up. And we all know what happens to Walker dinners – they fought, haha! Oh, and Robert sort of had a heart attack. I wonder if they ever got to eat all the good food Uncle Saul and Scotty cooked.

By the next morning, everything was okay, as always because all the characters had time to think and came to terms with whatever they were dealing with in their lives. It would’ve been a happy ending but on their way home (they kind of car-pooled for they left the rest house at the same time), they met a road accident. Everyone had varying degrees of injury but it seems that Robert and Holly had it worst. Knowing that Rob Lowe, the actor who plays Robert was leaving the show, I just knew that Robert was going to die at the end of the season. Well, there’s only a couple of ways to get rid of his character, either he dies or he and Kitty gets a divorce. But their marriage is too precious to just end in divorce, so I guess it was better that he dies. I know it’s going to be heartbreaking but that’s life. Or that life in TV, at least. Haha!

Stuff to look forward to in the upcoming season!

*I’m kinda dreading the 5th season, to be honest. I had this hunch that it’s going to be the last for my sentimentally favorite TV series. A major character (Robert) was leaving and the episode order has been cut to just 18 episodes, instead of the usual 23 or 24. Usually, these are tell-tale signs.

*Now, Brothers & Sisters isn’t the most exciting or gripping show. But it has this sentimental charm for me because it’s about the family. And to be honest, I’ve learned a lot of life lessons from this show. So I’m generally looking forward to more family angst and drama from which I know I will learn lots from.

Character-wise, it would be interesting to look forward to the following:

*Kevin and Scotty are on their way to being parents themselves. How will this change their lives?

*Uncle Saul is HIV positive. I don’t think there are many shows today that address this issue.

*Sarah will be having some sort of renaissance in her career now that Narrow Lake could become a cash cow for the family.

*Since Kitty and Robert will be over due to Robert’s impending death, I guess their shoes will be filled in by Justin and Rebecca.

*Brothers & Sisters started with the death of the family patriarch, William Walker. And since then, most story arcs involved dealing with that loss. Since the next season will deal Kitty’s loss, there should be enough drama and struggle about that for the whole season.

What actually happened in the Season 7 premiere

It’s been a year since the accident and we were brought to speed about how the family individually coped up. Surprise, surprise, Robert wasn’t dead but he was in a permanent coma so he’s practically dead. Kitty didn’t seem to wanna let go. And it’s not yet clear what happened to her candidacy for governor but it’s highly likely she didn’t push through with it for she would’ve been busy taking care of Robert. Sarah and Holly weren’t able to push through with the water business because it turns out that Holly suffered some sort of recurring amnesia from the accident. Sarah was able to find a buyer though for Narrow Lake for a nifty price of $55 million! Woah! Uncle Saul and Scotty’s restaurant was going well, but apparently, Kevin and Scotty are still not parents because Michelle miscarried, twice. Justin went back to Iraq, against Rebecca’s wishes. That’s why when he came back, Rebecca had already moved out of their home. Lastly, Nora wasn’t the overbearing, meddling mother who always knew how to keep the family together.

As always, it all came down over a planned family dinner which didn’t push through. Because whenever the Walkers gather, everyone’s issues will be discussed, haha. For the past year, everyone was dealing with the aftermath of the accident on their own. They were mainly in denial. It actually took the youngest for everyone else to finally face their problems head on. The life lesson that was reinforced in that episode – problems do not get solved by pretending they don’t exist.

Let me end this post by sharing three of my favorite scenes from the episode:

“Do you know that every time I go there it always shocks me how much he looks like Robert. But it isn’t him, is it? No.. No.. I just feel so backed up against the wall lashing out at Justin like that. I don’t want to be this person anymore. I know that he’s never going to get better, I know that he’s gone. And I wanted to say goodbye for so long but I just can’t do it because I don’t know what to do without him. It’s not Robert that I’m afraid of losing anymore, I think it’s me. I always get to this point, and then I just can’t say it. Goodbye. Goodbye Robert.”

~said Kitty while she was talking to her mom Nora, outside Robert’s hospital suite

“Thank you for pushing me, for getting me out of my miserable self and forcing me to go off to war and do what I needed to do this whole last year. You did that, Mom. You hear me?.. Mom, come home. I did, but you didn’t. We need our mother again. We need the most overbearing, in-your-face, nosy, hovering, little -- in other words, the greatest mother in the entire world. We need you. Come home..”

~said Justin to his mom Nora, towards the end of the episode, after Robert’s funeral

“Like I said, it took a long time to get back here. I did the right thing, I know that now. I would’ve done it sooner if you would’ve been there to help me. But you weren’t. But I have this feeling that I’m gonna be okay. I think we’re gonna be okay.”

~said Kitty, as she offered a beautiful bouquet of flowers for Robert at the side of the road where the accident happened.

"Grey's Anatomy" 7th Season Primer - With You I'm Born Again

2010-09-23T21:35:00.007+08:00

Previously on Grey's Anatomy!

In the Season 6 finale, Mr. Clark, the husband of a woman patient who died from a tumor and/or cancer, went on a shooting rampage across the surgical halls of Seattle Grace Hospital. You see, the couple didn't have any children, so all they had was each other. But then the woman was fighting a losing battle with cancer. Worse, she had a brain tumor which endangered life some more (as if her cancer wasn't bad enough). Which came first, the tumor or the cancer, I don't remember anymore. Dr. Derek Sheppard AKA McDreamy operated on the brain tumor a few episodes before the season finale. The operation was successful but something wrong happened during her recovery that she went into coma, with no sure indicator or even hope of coming out of it. Apparently, she signed a some legal document which states that she didn't want to stay in a coma if and when that happens. Her husband wanted to wait and hope (I mean if you were him, wouldn't you?) and not pull the plug, but the hospital was legally bound to respect the dead woman's legal instructions. So they pulled the plug.

So going back to the season finale! Haha! So Mr. Clark, in his unbearable grief over the loss of her wife and passionate anger towards the "doctors who decided" that her wife was already dead, wanted to kill these doctors. He couldn't find Derek immediately so there was a lot of collateral damage. Many people in the hospital were shot dead or were wounded. Two supporting doctor characters died and two main doctor characters were seriously wounded in that bloodbath. -- Dr. Alex Karev and well, McDreamy himself. Oh, Mandy Moore was a guest star. Haha!

Well, even as Derek's condition seemed unsure in the end, we all know he can't die because well, he is freaking McDreamy. If he dies, so will 75% of the viewers of this show. Haha!

In other developments:

*Derek's wife, Meredith apparently had a miscarriage, possibly due to all the stress they all went through that fateful day.

*Dr. Owen Hunt had to choose between Cristina and Teddy. So does Lexie, between Alex and Mark AKA McSteamy. I mean, seriously, what is with these people wanting to make such hard decisions when there's a man shooting everyone up! Haha! Well, that's part of the Grey's ironic charm. Seriously!

*Callie and Arizona kissed and made up and have decided they will want to have a baby.

*Dr. Nazi herself Miranda Bailey had a budding love life with the hospital anesthesiologist.

I say this as a true blue Grey's fan, that was one hell of a finale! Just when I thought the are-they-or-are-they-not-dead-elevator-scene ending of Season 5 featuring George Bailey and Isobel Stevens was hard to beat, Grey's Anatomy creator and showrunner Shonda Rhimes gives us this spectacular Season 6 finale. Haha!

Stuff to look forward to in the upcoming season!

*Well, Season 7 will definitely start with the aftermath of the shooting spree of Mr. Clark. How long will it take Derek to recover? Will he still be the Chief of Surgery or will Richard take back his position which he just recently let go? Who will be chosen in the various love triangles in the hospital? Haha! How will Meredith take her unfortunate miscarriage? She's been pretty matured the whole season, a far cry from the dark and twisty Meredith we met in Season 1. Will this recent infant tragedy bring her back to her dark and twisty days? So many questions! Haha!

*I've seen wedding pictures in my favorite TV blogs! But alas, I don't know which couple will tie the knot. It could be Meredith and Derek, to finally seal the deal! I mean, come on, I don't think post-it weddings are legally binding. Haha! Or it could be freaking anyone! Grey's is 100% capable of pulling off such surprises.

*Love and sex and the funny irony when both collide, haha! This is what you should always expect from a Grey's Anatomy episode. I can't believe it's been 6 years. If I were pregnant when this started, my kid would be in Grade 1 already! Haha!

Wish list

*A proper closure for Alex Karev and Isobel Stevens. Well, because the actress who plays Isobel, Katherine Heigl, suddenly left the show supposedly because she wanted to focus on her family (she and her husband adopted a baby from Vietnam last year), the fate of one of the classic couples of Grey's was left hanging. I'm hoping Heigl would at least return for one last episode to have this proper closure.

*More exposure for Avery. His character was just a recurring one in the previous season, but now that it is confirmed that he's a regular, I hope to know more about him and how his history will mesh with the rest of the cast.

*Another defying season finale for Season 7. Haha! I know, it hasn't even aired yet and here I am already talking about the finale. You see, Rhimes is known to plan the season finale first. This is what she pitches to network bosses during the TV series renewal period. All preceding episodes are written and planned with this "approved" finale in mind. Cool strategy, right? Haha! A housemate of mine and a fellow Grey's junkie were already guessing what could it be, haha! How about an airplane that crashes in the hospital parking lot or into the hospital itself?! Morbid much!

Grey's Anatomy's 7th Season will premiere September 24 (Manila Time). I don't know when StarWorld or Studio 23 will air the new episodes, sorry. Haha!

Coming up: The Good Wife, Desperate Housewives, Brothers & Sisters, and many more!

"Glee" 2nd Season Primer - Walking On Sunshine

2010-09-22T22:31:00.005+08:00

Previously on Glee!

Well, the New Directions didn't win in the show choir regionals, even as they're the main protagonists in the story. Rightly so, in a cool "Bring It On" (classic cheerleading movie) fashion if you ask me. But I still can't get over the fact that there weren't even at least runner-ups! Oh well. Haha! The loss at the regionals would've been the demise of the club. And if you think about it, the TV series, too! I mean come on, when it's over for the protagonists, what story is there left to tell? Haha! But not when the season-long main antagonist cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester steps in and takes the higher road. She blackmails the school principal to give the Glee club another year to continue her 1-part-love-and-2–parts-hate relationship with coach Will Schuester and the rest of glee club. So, to set up the next season, we know that there will be another year's worth of witty comedy and great music. There weren't exactly cliffhangers or unfinished business that needs immediate resolution. I say the last episode of Season 1 did a good job in capping the fictional school year at McKinley High. But that doesn't mean we don't have much to look forward to in the 2nd season!

Stuff to look forward to in the upcoming season!

*Charice! Well, there's the definitely talked-about multi-episode guest stint of our very own Charice! Love or hate the young diva, she's on Glee guys. We can't say the same for the rest of us, haha. She's playing a Filipino exchange student named Sunshine Corazon who will definitely up the ante for the series' main diva, Rachel Berry.

*The new Beiste! Well, football coach Ken Tanaka must be so broken hearted that he won't be back, haha. So why not bring in a new one! Someone that will possibly unite archenemies Sue and Will. We can't get enough of ultra alpha female characters in this show, eh?

*More GLEEful music! There's the Britney episode. Well, even if you aren’t smitten with Britters, there are the rest of the songs that the Glee cast will definitely do justice in covering. “Billionaire” and “Empire State Of Mind” are just two of the recent hits that will be featured in the new season.

*Issues and characters galore! Will Idina Menzel guest star again as Rachel’s real mother with Quinn’s baby in tow? Will Emma and Will finally get it on for real? Will Kurt finally get a boyfriend? Do you wish for the Tina-Arty pairing to prosper or are you weary that it’s too much inside Tabing Ilog country (As in sila sila ang nagtataluhan! Haha!)? Will Brittany, Matt or the other Asian finally get singing leads? Haha! If you're a true blue Gleek, oh, I need not enumerate! I know you will watch anyway.

Wish list

*Well, for me, Glee is fine the way it is, given it's the only show I watch in that nature. I just hope that the new season will have better character development, much like in the first half of the first season. Supporting but interesting characters kinda got lost in the background in the second half because it kinda became more about the music than about the stories behind them – which is why I think the show lost to Modern Family the Emmy for Best Comedy Series. Some story arcs and situations seemed too forced to accommodate the music. The characters should drive the music and performances, not the other way around.

*A Lea Salonga guesting! Well, she’s Twitter buddies with the cast, she knows them in Broadway circles, and she definitely got the chops to sing, so why the hell not?! But alas, this is wishful thinking, at least for the second season. Lea already has projects scheduled for the rest of the year (one of which you might’ve seen on your Facebook sidebar ads, haha), so she definitely has no time to swing by Los Angeles to tape an episode. But who knows, someday, right? :D

*A Westlife episode perhaps? HAHA. As if. ;D

Glee's 2nd second season premieres September 22 (Manila Time). It locally airs on ETC every Wednesdays at 4pm and 9pm.

Coming up: The Good Wife, Grey's Anatomy, The Big Bang Theory, and many more!

Buses and Trains

2010-08-30T16:04:00.004+08:00

Earlier today, I was supposed to be on a trip to Zambales with some church buddies. It was a holiday and the parish organized a whole day’s worth of activities that included a pilgrimage, team-building and some leisure time as well. I didn’t really plan on coming but at the last minute, I figured I might as well go since it’s currently my school break and I will be in good company.

But alas, I missed the bus. And the trip. Haha!

A few seconds would’ve really made the difference. I was just a few meters away from the meeting place and I could already see the two buses ahead. But then the buses started to leave. My friends, who were already aboard, tried to stop the bus for me but to no avail. I started to run, hoping I could catch up but the two buses were able to leave our village in no time.

The sun has barely risen and it was still a little cold. All I could think of was that I just pulled off a San Chai in Meteor Garden, sans the oranges. Haha!

On my way back home, I tried to make sense of it all. I felt embarrassed and disappointed. And a little relieved because at least no one saw me being left by the bus. Hahaha! I kept on thinking all the things that could’ve happened differently such that I could’ve made the bus and the trip (which by the way, based on my friends’ pictures, was a blast). I could’ve woken up a minute earlier. I could’ve taken a bath and dressed up faster. Damn I shouldn’t have changed pants! I could’ve skipped my yoghurt breakfast and the additional trip to the bathroom to ‘unload’ stuff, haha! I could’ve not turned on my laptop and checked Facebook while having breakfast. I was already on my way when I remembered to go back for my umbrella – which by the way took a good five minutes to look for because it wasn’t where I left it the day before. I could’ve not done that – after all I don’t think it rained at all during the trip (based on the pictures). In short, there were many things I could’ve or could’ve not done that would’ve paved the way for me to be able to board the bus on time. But I did or didn’t do any of them. So I guess there wasn’t any point in contemplation. Simply put, I shouldve been punctual and I wasn’t. Haha! But really, a few seconds (or meters at that) would’ve made all the difference! *Sige, ipilit pa, haha!*

So I just walked quietly home, trying to downplay the gravity of the mishap. Before I slept again, I ate the bacon pandesal thing that I would’ve eaten in the bus. And as I lay down again, I was still trying to convince myself that being left behind isn’t all that bad because I will be able to do other fun stuff once I wake up again.

Well, the day turned out to be a pretty chillax day for me. I woke up late but well-rested. I did a few chores and other stuff that I’ve been meaning to do but didn’t have the time because I’ve been out and about since the start of my school break. So yes, it kinda worked out for the best after all. Well of course, if I could redo the day, I would’ve chosen the much more fun path of making the trip with my friends, but I’m not about to cry over spilled milk. Besides, I’ve dealt with missed chances and almost-there moments too often in the past, with much more heavier things at stake at that. I’m definitely not going to bang my head over this one.

I’ve had my fair share of major, major problems in life. Haha! Sorry, I couldn’t resist the Venus Raj reference. If I were to answer her question at the recent Miss Universe, I would’ve taken a long time to answer the question, not because I would be lost for words, but because I would have to really think about which among my big mistakes would be big enough to win the title but not too big that it would be too disparaging to lose the title altogether. These major, major mistakes have cost me several crucial chances and opportunities – some of which I might have to live with for the rest of my life. And I’m sure you feel the same with your own major, major mistakes in life. Not if you’re Venus Raj, eh? Haha!

At the end of the day, we have to realize that we may have missed so many important chances, but each day is actually new one. I know it’s hard and I know this personally. There are still instances when I cringe with regret over my mistakes. But I think that’s normal. Just don’t let these instances take over. There’s a time limit in dwelling over our mistakes. This time should be enough for us to mull over what we can take and learn from the experience. When we dwell too long, it just becomes self-loathing, and nothing good and productive ever comes out of that. So where do we get the strength to be able to do all that? Why Venus Raj said so herself – from the confidence of the love that our families and loved ones are giving us. And the Venus Raj references stop here. Haha!

You Oughta Know

2010-08-18T00:27:00.007+08:00

Insert a logically kick-ass statement here that would make some people think it's about or against them, because they're asinine that way. Because really, this is just a well-meaning and spectacularly wise take on things. Haha!

Never, ever attempt to silence me, especially if between the two of us, I'm the only one who's making sense.

I get to know things, without even trying. If only you'd realize how limited your world view is, I do have faith that you wouldn't be spewing shit all over everyone else's case. It's a shame really. Someone should put you in your proper place. It won't be me, yes, but believe me, it'll soon happen. I won't be there "there", but ha, it would feel like I will be! Again, without even trying.

Scared are the ones who are afraid to see the truth like it is and the way it should be told.

School Pride and Prejudice

2010-07-23T00:39:00.001+08:00

Just something I wrote for UP Aguman's CEER 2009. Target readers were high school seniors. ;D

College is an important chapter in your life. Academically and socially, it will have the most impact on how you will fare for the rest of your life. In terms of academics, it’s a given what role the university you will choose to attend will play – it will teach and train you to be the best of whatever it is that you want to be. But here’s another thought to ponder – a university’s social environment will also most likely affect how you will succeed in your academics and what kind of person you will become.

The universities are like people too in the same sense that they have different personalities that’s definitely imprinted into the characters of its graduates. A university molds its students into a certain something – a kind of individual that is professional and competent, someone that will be in demand in the industry, here and abroad. This is what sets them apart from the others. And often, in an amusing way, this it was pits them against each other! Hehe!

Once you step in college, you will realize that people take college rivalry more seriously than high school. I mean, in high school, kids usually just fight on who’s the ‘coolest’ and often the criterion for such is whoever dresses the hippest and whoever hangs out at the most posh of places. But in college, it is serious business – you have to be the best! And no, we’re not just talking about basketball here!

There are many kinds of rivalries among universities. Here’s a quick lowdown on the most common and fiercest battles in the collegiate scene.

Academic Rivalry. Now this is the most important rivalry of all. I mean come on, who wouldn’t want to be touted as the best! Any university or college will tell you that they can provide you the best education and training. But alas, most industry leaders and corporate executives will tell you that in the Philippines, UP, Ateneo and La Salle are the most respected if not the best universities in the country. Of course there many others that are just as reputable, many of them are even based in the provinces. More so, each school has its own set of specialty programs. This simply means that any given university is particularly formidable and popular (rightly so) in certain fields.

Sports Rivalry. College sports is probably the non-academic activity that most students love to engage in. After all, recreational activities like sports is what helps students de-stress from all the hassles of academic life. If you’ve always been interested in sports, then for sure, you’re no stranger to the culture of collegiate sports, like the UAAP. It enjoys the most media coverage and hype, considering the fierce rivalries of its members schools – Ateneo and La Salle in men’s basketball; UP and UST in cheerdance.

Social Rivalry. Now this is one aspect of college life that can be a little hard to comprehend or understand and yet it has the more pronounced effect on people. After all, school pride is something that you cannot really define or measure – it’s either you feel it or you don’t. Aside from the academic and extra-curricular achievements of a school, its social status or reputation is something that its officials and students take seriously to heart. Forget the popular text jokes that take a dig on Manny Pacquiao or Aling Dionesia for a while. To college students, there are a set of hilarious college jokes that are common knowledge to them. These jokes have only one goal – to glorify one’s own Alma Mater, and ridicule the rest of them. Some take a dig on a school’s campus or facilities, some on the kind of students that usually enroll in it. Now, we won’t share any of them jokes here, it’s up to you to discover come college! Here’s a wise tip though: never take them seriously.

School pride is something that naturally thrives in the university environment. It plays a bigger role than anyone realizes. It contributes in the maintenance and improvement of all the aspects of the academe. It allows its community to believe in something that is bigger than itself. It is what drives them to strive for nothing but excellence in whatever endeavor they venture into – be it in academics or in other facets of college life.

School pride is not something that can be taught by the professors or officials. It’s just a feeling deep down inside each member of that academic community. So the next time you engage in a passive-aggressive Olympics with your friends on whose university is the best, be ready to agree to disagree. I mean, after all, you gotta love your own, right?

Having said all these, know that in the end, your university training can only take you so far, as essential as it may be. Your success in whatever path you choose will depend ultimately on you. Whatever your course maybe, wherever you may take it, take advantage of every opportunity to learn that comes your way. Take in as much as you can. Never cease to learn new things, even outside the four walls of the classroom. After all, once you finish college, you move on to an even bigger and more challenging school in which pride in oneself will trump anything else – the school of life.

The Long and Winding Road

2010-07-03T04:04:00.005+08:00

I’ve always been afraid of driving – which is quite surprising because our family have always had at least one family vehicle for about two decades now. One would think that as a teenager, I’d prod my father to teach me how to drive so that I can show off just like what the other stereotypical teenage boys would do. I’ve never been the grease monkey type – which is another surprising thing because Papa is a mechanical engineer and growing up, I would always see him tinkering with the car with his various tools and machines.

Of course, as I grew older, I couldn’t escape the fact that I needed to learn how to drive. I only kind of successfully evaded the need for the longest time because there were three other drivers in the family so if someone had to drive, it could be any one of them – it didn’t have to be me. But that didn’t stop my mom from segueing to “Oh, kapilan ka mabyasang mag-drive?” from “Komusta la reng exams mu?” during their weekly overseas calls.

I first tried to learn under the tutelage of our cousin, Kuya Jay. I still remember, since he lives in Porac, he had to stay for two nights here at San Fernando during the course of our driving lessons. I learned the basics but since the first few sessions weren’t followed up, I didn’t really pursue the driving thing. A couple of years after, when most male figures in the family were abroad and thus unavailable to re-teach me, I enrolled on a driving school. It was a good experience because I was able to drive in the highways and not just within the safe confines of the neighborhood. Unfortunately, my driving ‘career’ still didn’t take off because months after the lessons, I was still unable to get a non-pro license and my student permit expired. Plus, I think more importantly, back then for me, driving was pretty much like calculus – I was required to learn it but I really didn’t see its practical use in my life so I wasn’t bound to practice it outside class hours. Commuting was more convenient for me. Also, the car was being used all the time anyway and the owner was often borrowed by relatives. So for me, what’s the point in all of this? Haha!

But this time around, I’m beaming with pride that after 5 student permits, I am now a bearer of a non-professional driver’s license! I attribute this milestone to two things – one, I realized that I’m not getting any younger and I didn’t want driving to be one of them adult things that I still haven’t marked ‘done’ on my life’s to-do list. Still being in school at my age is already an embarrassment enough! Haha! And two, it has come to a point wherein commuting is not that convenient anymore – especially knowing that if I already knew how to drive, I have at least two vehicles at my disposal.

I applied for my license last May 12, a few days before my latest student permit was to expire. I felt that if I let this one expire again, it would be totally uncool to have to apply for a student permit again. Haha! It was one of my main goals last summer. I had driving review lessons courtesy of my sister, Ate Joi. This time, I found myself wanting to really learn and be comfortable behind the wheel. A few weeks after, I was already driving the car to church (which was just within the village). If I drove outside the village, I would still ask my sister to accompany me. Then, just around two weeks ago, I finally drove the car outside the neighborhood on my own – my first solo ‘flight’. Haha!

It may have taken too long than usual, but I’m just proud and relieved that I finally learned to drive for real. I really felt like I went up another level of adulthood because of this. I’m still not an expert though. Hanging roads are territories I have yet to conquer. I may have well reached this point but not without suffering some nasty but funny setbacks – dead engine at a crucial stop light, driving at night without realizing my lights were actually still off, driving for a block or two with my handbrake still on and scratching my right doors into our garage’s marbled columns. But I’m proud of these ‘war wounds’. Like I always say, charge it to experience! Yeah! :D

********
Neicy, an orgmate who is around 6 years younger than me, has been driving for more than a year now. During org events or gimiks in Pampanga, often she’d offer to pick me up so that we can go together. One time, I told her, “Nakakahiya naman, ako tong kuya at di hamak na mas matanda sa iyo, ako pa itong sinusundo at hinahatid mo.”

I also often kid her that she drives too carefully or too slowly which is quite ironic because I can’t even drive myself then, haha. So when I was re-learning back in the summer, my mantra to summon motivation and confidence was “Must be faster than Nic”.

********
During my first solo ‘flight’, a couple of orgmates rode with me when we went home after the birthday get-together that we attended. As I successfully ‘entered’ the highway amidst the flurry of ten-wheeler trucks that normally plied the highway during that time of the night, I noticed that they were strangely quiet for minutes.

Me: Woy magsalita naman kayo! Okay lang ba kayo?
Elai: *Nervous laughter* Yieh, okay naman kami kuya, hihi!
Me: Well, baka gusto niyong magdasal para makauwi tayo nang payapa.
Mike: Actually, kaya kami tahimik eh. Haha!

********

Me: Ganun pala kapag marunong ka na mag-drive no?

Ate Joi: Oh, napano?

Me: Nakakatamad nang mag-commute! Hahaha!

Ate Joi: Aba, madami kang pang-gas? Haha!

Me: Itext ko nga si Mama, sasabihin ko, dagdagan ang allowance ko. Hehe!

So I texted my parents and joked about the additional allowace. My mom amusingly replied.

Mama: Aba, porke marunong ka na mag-drive, baka lagi ka namang mag-joyride nyan! Mag-skip ka na lang ng meryenda para may pang-gas ka at mabilis lumiit yang waistline mo.
Me: You’ve been bugging me to learn how to drive and constantly practice, so paano ako magpa-practice kung wala akong pang-gas?! Haha! Tsaka excuse me, I’m back to my normal non-holiday weight, most of my pants fit well, thank you. Hehe!

She didn’t reply anymore. But a week after, I got what I lobbied for. Hehe!

Truth Is

2010-06-07T17:21:00.006+08:00

If you had to ask, you're probably thinking it, too.

If I refused to answer, it's practically an admission.
If I answered 'yes', then what? So what?
If I answered 'no', would you have been convinced?

For me, trusting means not having to ask. For most of the time, that is. But then, we only want the truth of the matter, right?

If there's one thing I learned from "The Good Wife" (a CBS legal drama whose Season 1 I marathoned last week, haha), it's that truth can be over-rated. One can always lie -- many people are good at it. One can always spin the truth to one's advantage -- most of us do this all the time anyway. Heck, the 'official' truth can even be negotiated or bargained for!

Some truths shouldn't matter. They wouldn't and shouldn't affect how you look at things or at other people. If you had to insist on knowing, then it would probably matter. Or that you're just too nosy for your own good.

Apparently, there's some sort of elephant in the room. And I don't care, that's why I don't see it.

Ako Ang Simula

2010-05-10T10:23:00.004+08:00

6.13am – Woke up to get ready to vote. Past 2am na ako nakatulog, pero ok lang medyo excited eh, haha!

7.02 – Arrived at San Agustin Elementary School with my sister and brother-in-law. I immediately found my room, thanks to my QC housemate, Mike, who gave me heads up about my room assignment because he’s a poll volunteer.

7.07 – Found the end of the line for my cluster.

7.29 – Our room is the first room and is situated near the gate of the elementary school. Thus, I get to observe people who walk in and walk out of the premises. I spotted a fat lady who had pink eyeshadow and blue green eyebrows. What is up with that! Sensya na, nakakainip rin sa pila, can’t help but notice. Nakaka-violate sa paningin.

7.44 – Got my number, #13. Apparently, in our barangay, people who are lined up are given numbers before they actually enter the polling room.

8.00 – Got annoyed by this lady who was lined up in the adjacent cluster room. Nakaka-BV! Haha! Reklamo siya nang reklamo dahil medyo magulo daw ang sistema sa pila sa room nila. Her complaints were very valid though, but it’s just that she was too high and mighty about it. She kept on shouting and castigating the ushers. Hindi po tayo makakatulong kung pangungunahan tayo ng init ng ulo.

8.09 – Returned my line number to our usher, because apparently, she gave out the number cards out of order with respect to the line. The three people ahead of me had the numbers 16-18 and my number was 13. Haha! They complained so I suggested that we just return our numbers and arrange them accordingly.

8.11 – Incumbent Mayor Oscar Rodriguez arrived in the school premises clad in a bright yellow barong. Nasilaw ako. Haha! He belonged to the cluster room adjacent to mine.

8.16 – Got my number again, this time, #19. Yes, it took them 15 minutes to reorganize the numbers, haha.

8.21 – Patricia Mamangun, a local media reporter, arrived. Turns out she wanted to interview our mayor that’s why she was waiting outside. May kausap siya sa cell phone. Sabi niya sa kausap niya, nakaka-tatlo na daw siyang naiinterview na pulitiko. Siguro parang Electro Lux lang, may quota sila kailangang ma-meet. Haha!

8.26 – I saw Jer (an orgmate) inside the adjacent room. Bakit nakapasok siya agad?! Pumila siguro sa mga senior citizen. Haha!

8.31 – Finally entered the polling room. I had to wait a few more moments for the other voters to finish voting so that I can be seated.

8.47 – Inserted my ballot in the PCOS. It was immediately successfully verified! Yey! Then I got my finger inked and placed my thumb marks in the corresponding sheets.

9.00 – Left the premises. Had to look for my sister but they weren’t finished voting yet. Tsk, tsk.

So there. My 4th time to vote (1st automated) in an election was pretty smooth. The actual voting process inside the room was pretty smooth. It’s the lining up that was really problematic. It really depends on the strategy and planning IQ of the poll ushers/usherettes.

For those who have yet to vote, just be patient and cool-headed later when you do. It’s everyone’s first time to vote this way so let’s be understanding of each other. Problems will happen but hopefully, these will be given solutions immediately with everyone’s proper cooperation.

PUMILA NANG MAAYOS. HUWAG SUMINGIT.

Don’t feel a sense of entitlement just because you feel you’re above the others in terms of socioeconomic status or if you’re “somebody” in the neighborhood. Nakakairita yung mga mayayaman kong neighbors, ang aarte! Kanina pa daw sila nakapila samantalang nauna ako sa kanila. Their Lacoste shirts are barely wet from perspiration. Haha!

So good luck to everyone! Hope the voting process is smooth on your side of our archipelago.

Ride Wit Me

2010-04-28T02:34:00.004+08:00

I admit, I felt green with envy. I wondered yet again how good it must feel if it were me. The beaming smiles conveyed a lot. They teemed with a deep sense of pride, fulfillment and relief. That unique academic regalia of tribal embroidery across their chests further amplifies the uniqueness and true triumph of the occasion.

It’s already been a year since I left UP. Well, I never really left because I still live in the same apartment near it, go there and visit my friends often, and jog around the campus at least once a week. It’s actually like I never left, haha.

******
All these months I’ve come to accept the reality of where I am now and of where I was before. Yes, I still miss it, I suppose that is normal. But I have a good grasp of things and I know this is where I deserve to be. But I guess last weekend was just that time of the year when all of my frustrations, regrets and insecurities would come flooding back in one big plunge, haha!

After a year, I actually thought I wouldn’t mind anymore. But as it turns out, I still do. Looking at my friends’ pictures was hard to bear. But I knew I just had to look, haha! Because as envious as I was at them and as miserable as I was with myself, I was really just as proud and happy for them. For this, I am definitely sure that I am not bitter. Because for me, being bitter would mean wishing the same sorry state I am in on them. But gazing at their happy pictures and mulling over how that sablay would look on me, all I could think of was how I wish I would also feel the same euphoric state they were in.

But I didn’t allow myself to wallow in the pain. It was only Friday, so I knew that with more graduation ceremonies to come in that weekend, those pictures on my Facebook live feed won’t let up. Haha! I knew it would definitely still hurt, but I also knew that I just have to ride the pain out because I knew it will soon be over. After all, it’s not like they will stop posting those pictures. It’s not like the world will stop being happy, just because I was sad.

*****
It's just like when we were kids, we'd clumsily fall on the ground while playing and we’d hurt ourselves. We thought the pain from the fall and the wound we got from it was unbearable so we wail our lungs out. But after an hour, when the embarrassment we felt when we fell in front of everyone wears off, we realize we're already okay. We'll be okay. The wound still hurts, yes. But we know that in a few days, it won't be anymore.

*****
So I did survive the emo weekend, haha! I actually had lots of fun by attending a couple of graduation parties. Looking back, I wonder what I was thinking that I started the weekend (which by the way coincided with the official start of my 3-week summer vacation) with such melancholy.

I was right – my happiness for my friends weighed more than all the negative vibes I allowed myself to feel. I wouldn’t have enjoyed much celebrating with them if it didn’t. I actually have at least three more graduation parties to attend in the next few weeks and I’m sure I will have as much fun.

And I know that when my own time comes, all of my good friends will celebrate with me.

Risky Business™

2010-04-20T17:33:00.002+08:00

Managing expectations is risky business. It's one of them times that the heart is stronger than the mind.

We're powerless to infuse sense & logic in desires that are too intense. We put color onto things that are actually just black & white. We refuse to see the simple truth, because we know it'll just disappoint.

But to expect is human nature. We can't help it. In the end, the best attitude is to be ready for whataver will happen -- expecting the worst, but hoping for the best.

Yes, people often disappoint. But sometimes, when you least expect it, they just might surprise you. Or not. Haha!

The author writes original text quotes whenever inspiration strikes him, most often as he lies down his bed to sleep. This post, is one of them. Real life events or problems of his or of his friends are usually what triggers these sudden "pa-profound" moments.

Trying To Get The Feeling Again

2010-04-15T04:56:00.002+08:00

I shouldn’t let my personal pride get the best of me next time.

There’s this certain moment that happened recently. On any other given day, I would’ve savored the moment because it was much of what I hoping for. Now, it’s only been days and I can’t even own that memory anymore! Haha! I keep trying to replay the scene in my head. I remember much of the words but I can’t seem to recapture the great feeling again. But then again, I wasn’t able to get into the moment when it happened so technically, there’s no great feeling to ‘recapture’, hehe!

It’s quite frustrating because the renewed episode of pride I was having was fueled by my seemingly futile expectation of that very moment which I now want to remember. That moment was long overdue and when it finally did come, I was busy trying to downplay the appreciation as if I didn’t want it. Talk about being “pa-virgin” (been knocking my head up to the perfect English word for it, but really, this slang perfectly encompasses the sentiment, haha!).

So what do I do now? Well, status quo.

There’s no point in trying to get that feeling again anyway. What’s important is that it happened. =)

“Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life's deepest joy: true fulfillment.”
~Anthony Robbins

The Closer I Get To You

2010-04-13T12:36:00.003+08:00

As kids, we were taught many special numbers to remember. The 9 planets of our solar system. The 10 fingers and toes of our hands and feet. The 12 months in the calendar. The 60 seconds in a minute. The 7 continents of the world. The 24 hours in a day. These are pretty basic stuff and the numbers are not too big to be too difficult to remember. But there’s this certain number that was imprinted in my memory at such a young age: 168, which is the number of hours in a week.

The 7 days in a week might be more convenient and practical to remember, yes. But not when my mom wants to drive a point – that out of 168 hours in a week, God only wants 1 hour spent with Him via the weekly Sunday mass and that I can do whatever I want with the rest.
As I grew older, I began to argue that it’s actually more than 2 hours. Because getting ready for church and the travel time to and fro requires another hour or so. Haha! So imagine my amuse when at the conclusion of the most recent Holy Week, I realized that I actually spent up to 40 hours in God-related activities.

You see, I recently just joined the Commentators and Lectors Guild (ComLec) in our parish. Been meaning to do so for almost a year now and my mom has been prodding me to do so since she realized that there’s no way I can sing my way into the Youth Choir. Haha! It took me almost a year to finally do it because I narrowly missed the seminar last year so I had to wait until the next one to be able to join. I think the official induction will happen this May, but I’ve already attended some of the monthly meetings and the mandatory recollection which was held a month ago.

My first church service as a new member of the ComLec was the speech choir for the Holy Week celebrations. The gospel features the passion and death of Christ and the ComLec is usually tasked to read for the many characters in the readings like Pontius Pilate, Peter, Jesus Christ, etc. We serve during the Palm Sunday (morning and evening) and Good Friday service and during the Easter Vigil.

The speech choir duties entailed hours of practices days prior. And on top of that, the ComLec youth were asked to stage some sort of silent play about the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ for the Easter Vigil service. That meant additional hours spent for the practice and preparation for the play.

And so, counting all the hours I spent at church whether for practice or attendance of the different Holy Week celebrations, I logged more than 40 hours.

What’s more amazing for me is that I actually enjoyed every single hour of those 40 hours! Normally, an hour at church already felt a drag. Haha! And often, my mind drifts away for a few minutes. But this time, it felt that everything just fell into place and I just found myself having the right attitude to sincerely celebrate the true meaning of the Holy Week celebrations.

For one, our new parish priest, Fr. Raul Delos Santos, who was installed just the Friday before the Palm Sunday, is one hell heaven of a pastor. He was actually the one who requested the ComLec youth to do the silent play. His homilies were very interesting and he sure knows how to grab your attention and keep it for the rest of the church service.

Another reason would be the people at ComLec. I’m actually friends with some of the them already so being the newbie in the guild wasn’t socially stressful. But the new friends I met, they were just so welcoming and amiably nice that I immediately felt I was where I was supposed to be and that I’m no stranger.

And lastly, and the most important one I think, it’s because I knew why I was doing it and whom I was doing it for. I guess it’s cliché to say that I was doing it all for Him. But I reckon I was doing it more for myself, because I want to feel closer to Him. Holy Week holidays used to be a mini-vacation for me – stay up late in the wee hours and wake up late the next day, catch up on my TV series backlogs, do other bum stuff. But this year, I was unable to do my usual routine because I had to attend practices or service at church. And not once did I mumble or complain about it, nor did I contemplate on not attending (because after all, no one’s going to persecute me anyway if I don’t go to church). Believe me, I don’t really know where I got the patience and passion to sacrifice much of the time that year after year I normally just spend for myself, rather than for Him.

LEFT: A scene during our silent play. I was on of the apostles who took Christ down from the cross and buried Him in his tomb.
RIGHT: My new gang at ComLec with our amazing new Parish Priest, Fr. Raul, celebrating the wonderful reception of our setup-at-the-last-minute silent play.

I admit I joined ComLec not really knowing why. Doing it for mom (to finally shush her up, haha) was usually the first reason that pops in my mind. But now that I am part of ComLec, I already know I want it myself after all. I mean come on! Why else would I last 40+ hours at church in a week and enjoy every single minute of it? That is something not even my mom can force me to do.

That I Would Be Good

2010-03-16T16:34:00.005+08:00

“Am I a good person? Not a joke. Not rhetorical.”
“You’re the best person I know. Everything you do, you do for others.”
“And why is that?”
“I have not a clue. But you obviously get some sort of sick satisfaction out of it.”

In this scene in the movie “The Blind Side”, Sandra Bullock’s character Leigh Ann Tuohy reflects on her ‘goodness’ as a person. She and her family welcomed a young Black man named Michael Oher into their home and pretty much treated him like one of them. The Tuohys are your typical Southern white family and the fact that Michael is black was one of the salient twists to this true story.

The goodness of the Tuohys is sort of questioned in the movie (you just watch it yourself to find out why so). And in this particular scene I quoted above, I somehow found myself reflecting on my own ‘goodness’ as a person. Am I really a good person? Am I so because I really just am, or because I just want to be so?

********
To say that my parents are good people is probably an understatement. Ask all of our relatives that they have helped emotionally and financially, and they will definitely agree. Ask our neighbors, ask our Parish Church, ask their Filipino friends in Bahrain, ask the people from the villages they grew up from – they will all concur. My folks are truly good and very helpful people.

Often, Mama would tell me that when I’d already have a stable job, I should not forget to ‘help out’ the less fortunate as well, to give to charity, to help a relative, etc, etc. Of course I’d gladly say yes, but would go on to quip that I haven’t even graduated and yet I already feel like I am already sending a poor relative to school to give them a brighter future. Hehe!

Often, I’d have issues with my folks’ seemingly endless goodness and helpfulness to others, especially in times when they’d reprimand us for spending too much on certain stuff (take note: ‘too much’ here is highly relative, hehe!). But at the end of the day, I do understand the bigger picture. If there’s a way for you to help, you just do it. And this is one of the more precious values my parents have instilled in us their children.

I would like to think that indeed, I am a good person. Of course, I know I am far from perfect. But generally speaking, I feel that I am good. Haha, talk about pagbubuhat ng sariling bangko!

********
It’s easy to be good when it’s convenient. When you have lots of money, it’s easy to give to charity. When you have plenty of time, it’s easy to go out of your way to give someone a favor. And I think you will all agree, when everyone is looking (or is aware), it’s much more rewarding, haha.

But I think being good takes much more effort than it seems. Sometimes we say that certain people are so good that being so comes naturally to them or that they were born that way. For me, being good requires a certain values and principle set – wisdom, maturity, empathy and selflessness – and it’s easy to understand why. To be mature and wise is to know what to do and often, when to do it. To be empathetic is to be able to feel what others feel without having to be literal about it. And lastly to be selfless – well, this one’s no brainer. To have something in you that move you to be there for someone and putting their needs and interest first before your own, that’s definitely selfless.

But I personally think that being good also requires courage and nobility.

You know, being good or helping someone out is not always difficult because the circumstances make it so. Often, what makes it complicated is the attitude of the very people you are helping and the consequences of doing so.

There are times when the help is unwanted or unappreciated. Or, as in the case of the Tuohys in “The Blind Side”, it is even doubted.

So for me, it takes a stronger character to be good not just in the times when you easily can, but also in the times when it’s difficult but you do it anyway because you know it’s the right thing to do and there's nothing in it for you.

********
When it comes to my loved ones, whether family or friends, I’ve shown time and again how fiercely loyal and genuinely dependable I can be.

My bordering-on-excessive tendency to help out in any way I can has caused messy stirs quite a number of times before, hehe. I know that there are times when my methods are a tad intrusive and imposing. To some, that may come across as being stubborn and that I just want to always get my way. But for me, it just shows how passionate I am about the things (or people) that are important to me.

Many years ago, a rift with a very good friend taught me a valuable and enduring lesson about friendship – be a friend without expecting anything in return, without counting who benefits more in the comradely bond. But I am only human and having expectations is but a natural phenomenon. To me though, it’s just a matter of managing these expectations, haha.

Almost all the time, a little appreciation is all that it takes for me to feel that doing what I do is the right thing. But alas, emotional infancy and insensitivity gets in the way. And in the end, I don’t even get the minimum respect that I deserve.

********
You know what's ironically sucks more in these situations when you feel under-appreciated? It's the fact that when the going get rough yet again, you know you won't be able to say no. Haiis. Haha!

List of Great Happy Love Songs

2010-02-14T16:43:00.002+08:00

The following post was actually written about a year ago, for my column at my UP org's blog. I forgot to cross post it to my own blog, so that is exactly what I will do now. Haha!

Given its form, music is an art that is able to touch people in ways like no other. A riff or two, synchronized with sincere lyrics, can easily evoke certain feelings in the deepest recesses of our minds.

So, speaking of feelings, we all know that “love” is the most highlighted feeling whenever our calendars flip for February. So for this month’s column, I am sharing my list of favourite love songs.

Love is hands down the most talked about feeling given its universal nature. The thing is, love has its many facets – it can be a positive thing when it makes you happy and a negative thing when it instead makes you miserable.

So I’ve broken down my list into two parts: one for happy, feel-good love songs and another for sad, bitter melodies, hehe!

So for the past month, I’ve been browsing my music drive in search for my favourite love songs. Browsing through 5,500+ songs is no easy feat. It actually felt like being a judge for American Idol, haha! Making the shortlist of songs felt like the auditions. Classifying the songs felt like the Hollywood Rounds. And finally choosing which song goes into the list was like the “Final Judgement”, haha! In the end, I had to choose the songs that were most meaningful and had the best feel-good-about-love melodies.

Sophie B. Hawkins – As I Lay Me Down
Released: 1995
Though I'm far away
I'll whisper your name into the sky
And I will wake up happy

Michelle Branch – Breathe
Released: 2003
If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Given its upbeat melody, it hardly feels like your typical love song. But then again, its soaring chorus just gives me a certain high, quite very similar to the kind of high that love can bring. It’s no surprise that this song has been featured in many romantic movies.

Colbie Caillat – Bubbly
Released: 2007
Cause every time I see your bubbly face,
I get the tingles in a silly place
Its melodic acoustic arrangements set the tone right for love and romance, doesn’t it?

Mandy Moore – It’s Gonna Be Love
Released: 2002
The sooner you let two hearts beat together
The sooner you'll know this love is forever
(It's gonna be love)
Love needs time now or never
(It's gonna be love) It's gonna be tough
You gotta believe, it's gonna be strong enough

Leigh Nash – Need To Be Next To You
Released: 2000
I need to know I can see you smile each morning
Look into your eyes each night for the rest of my life
Here with you, near with you, oh I need to be next to you

Rosie Thomas – Since You’ve Been Around
Released: Unknown. I first heard this though from an episode of Grey’s Anatomy and of Ghost Whisperer
I’m foolish and crazy
I just think that maybe I gotta things to figure out
I’m winning, I’m losing
I’m afraid of never choosing this heart of mine, so beaten down
Before you came around
I know that the lyrics don’t really readily tell you the kind of good love one feels. But if you listen to the whole song, it’s basically about unexpected but wonderful changes in one’s life brought about by another person.

Emma Bunton – Take My Breathe Away
Released: 2001
I never thought I'd feel the way I'm feeling lately
When everything you seem to do just drives me crazy

Natalie ft Justin Roman – Where Are You
Released: 2005
There is someone out there for me (I know there is somebody out there)
I know she is waiting so patiently (yeah) can you tell me her name? (Somebody tell me her name)
This life-long search is gonna drive me insane

Hoku – You First Believed
Released: 2000
It was you who first believed
In all that I was made to be
It was you looking in my eyes
You held my hand
And showed me life
And I've never been the same
Since you first believed

John Mayer – Your Body Is A Wonderland
Released: 2002
You tell me where to go and,
Though I might leave to find it,
I'll never let your head hit the bed,
Without my hand behind it
The whole song is pretty much sexual overtones all over it, haha! But then again, it just depends in your imagination.

And now, for the songs that aren’t just melodically great, but also have words that truly capture a clearer image of the very confusing euphoric state that is love.

Mariah Carey – Always Be My Baby
Released: 1996
And we’ll linger on
Time can’t erase a feeling this strong
No way you’re never gonna shake me
Ooh darling, ‘cause you’ll always be my baby
The song actually chronicles a love that has ended, but I just like the way how one’s great hope for that love can remain fueled by a love that is so strong.

Rascal Flatts – Bless The Broken Road
Released: 2005
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
It’s totally my anthem, haha! Well, I haven’t exactly found my “the one” yet. But the thing is, I don’t wait for her in misery precisely because this much I know is true, that God will bless the broken the road that will lead me straight to her. Char! Haha!

Edwin McCain – I Couldn’t Ask For More
Released: 1999
Every breath has been answered
Every dream that has come through.
Yeah, right here in this moment
It's that we're all meant to be.
Oh here with you, here with me.

Daniel Bedingfield – If You’re Not The One
Released: 2002
If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
Remember how in Chem 16, there’s this qualitative analysis experiment wherein we perform many tests to determine the presence of certain ions? Well, this song could well as be “the test” for the presence of love, hehe!

Michael Ruff – More Than You’ll Ever Know
Released: 1993
Take my hand
We’ll walk awhile, we’ll talk awhile
Feel my love, always there beside you

Stephen Speaks – Passenger Seat
Released: 2003
And I've got all that I need
Right here in the passenger seat
Oh and I can't keep my eyes on the road
Knowing that she's inches from me
Wouldn't it be really romantic if you'd turn this up just as you drive your girl home after a wonderful date? Hehe! Cheesy much? Well, not when you're truly in love, hehe! It's like a license to be baduy.

Karla Bonoff – Standing Right Next To Me
Released: 1994
Beneath the moon tonight
I see it in your eyes -
No more false starts,
No more broken hearts.
I used to have a wish
One day I'd feel like this.
Now I know love exists
Cause it's standing right next to me.

Ronan Keating – The Way You Make Me Feel
Released: 2000
I couldn’t feel much better
Than when I’m here with you
You make everything seem so easy
I’m telling you the truth
You never try to please me
But somehow...you always do

Ryan Cabrera – True
Released: 2004
I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing that’s true
So I will not hide
Its time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

Shawn Colvin – When You Know
Released: 2001
When you know that you know who you love, you can't deny it.
Or go back, or give up, or pretend that you don't buy it.
When it's clear this time you've found the one, you'll never let him go
Cos you know and you know that you know.
If you're into the whole serendipity thing when it comes to meeting the love of your life, then this song is definitely for you. Aptly so, it was featured in the motion picture soundtrack of the movie Serendipity.

UPDATE!
Bob Dylan - Make You Feel My Love
Released: 1997
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
But you ain't seen nothing like me yet
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy, make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love
This is a Bob Dylan original but I actually fell in love with this song via the version of Adele (and later on, Kris Allen).

COMING SOON! List of Great Not-So-Happy Love Songs! Haha!

While I Was Sleeping

2010-02-07T21:46:00.002+08:00

There goes my spotless record when it comes to losing important stuff to snatchers, hold-uppers and the like. Last week, I lost my almost 4-year old N90 to snatchers while I was on my way home from school.

It was around 5:30 in the afternoon when I got on an empty HiWay-Ilalim jeep at Pantranco on my way home to Philcoa. As always, I killed time during the trip by trying to nap a little. By the time I woke up, the jeep had already traversed the Quezon Avenue-EDSA underpass and we were somewhere near the Ninoy Aquino Wildlife Park. It was then that a group of men (who looked like construction workers or something) suddenly got off the jeep. Still indifferent to my surroundings because I just woke up after all and that I had my mp3 player on, I noticed that my co-passengers seemed to be talking about the men that just got off the jeep. I tried to see for myself what the mini-commotion is all about but they were so far away already. Then I decided to check on my phone to see if I got any new messages since I fell asleep. It was on a belt pouch on my right hip. Then it hit me – the pouch was empty! OMG! I was just robbed!

Funny how as I panicked deep inside, I still managed to care about my composure in front of my co-passengers. Haha! As I tried to casually move my hand to my lap from the phone pouch that was empty, I wondered if my co-passengers knew I was the stupid passenger who lost an important belonging to those suspicious men who just got off the jeep. I figured they were talking about the men because after all (I noticed this myself before I feel asleep), they actually exhibited weird behavior. Whether those shameless men actually declared a hold-up on the jeep (that I didn’t hear because I was sleeping) or just casually and quietly chose to victimize me because I was an easy target (like I’ve said many times already, haha, I was sleeping and I was beside them), I don’t really know anymore, haha.

So for now, I am using my mom’s old 6670. I also got a new SIM programmed with my old number. I’ve always been a sentimental fool, but I think I’ve moved on from the loss. I am just thankful that I was not physically hurt or emotionally traumatized. Although I must admit that for the first few days, I would occasionally feel my right hip like I’ve always used to, only to realize once again that my phone is gone forever. Haha!

But ‘moving on’ doesn’t mean I will forget what my old N90 was to me for the past 3 years or so. It’s been my tool for communication with the people I love or consider my friends. I’ve read and written countless of passionate (and quite lengthy, haha) text messages with it, and these I will never ever forget. Too bad I wasn't able to keep a copy of all the hard-hitting quotes that I composed. Haha! It would be really great if someone will forward these quotes back to me one day, not knowing that I was the one who actually composed them.

Now the important question is. Will I get to buy a brand new phone or will I get stuck with this old 6670 that I am using right now? Hehe!

Jump!

2010-01-21T23:16:00.005+08:00

We're never too old for our dreams. It's never too late to do what we've always wanted.

It's not that we're way past our prime or that we've missed the one chance we've got. In fact, I think in life we never really run out of chances.

It's just that we don't have the guts to go for it.

The author writes original text quotes whenever inspiration strikes him, most often as he lies down his bed to sleep. This post, is one of them. Real life events or problems of his or of his friends are usually what triggers these sudden "pa-profound" moments.

For Your Entertainment

2010-01-16T01:23:00.003+08:00

People complain how sick they are of anything Kris Aquino, especially at how she manages to make everything about her private life out in the open for public consumption.

I know that Kris can be too tactless and talkative for her own good. But it's one thing when all showbiz gossip shows carry every angle of her life's latest (mis)adventure, and it's another when a national broadsheet (mind you, NOT a tabloid paper) carries a headline about her most recent marital incident under the "Nation" and NOT even under the "Entertainment" section.

And what's even funnier is how the father of the purported overstepping woman fan of James Yap is making this into a political issue. Amidst all the issues of whether Kris violently or peacefully initiated the encounter or whether Kris had the right to do so as a wife or whether the woman crying on the shoulders of another woman's husband is even appropriate behavior, the father reportedly blurted out, "I now know who I will not vote for."

Sir, it should be '..WHOM I will not vote for'.

Welcoming 2010 - Bring it on!

2010-01-11T01:11:00.002+08:00

There are two reasons why this post is at least 11 days late: 1) my writing mojo is missing and 2) I’ve actually been trying to finish this ‘recap’, but due to reason #1, I can’t seem to come up with something good. So I am just going to let out what I want to say sans the gimmickry, hehe!

Like all previous years of my life, 2009 was not any different in the sense that it was yet another helluva ride. All the momentous ups, the miserable downs and new experiences, they were there as always. But unlike the other years, 2009 proved to be more life changing.

I started the year with a different ending in mind. I had all these wonderful hopes and dreams and I couldn’t wait to get started. But when shit happens, all you could do is get hold of the situation to the best of your abilities. You deal with whatever cards life deals you.

It was like a new era, really – venturing and conquering an unfamiliar territory, meeting and knowing new people and friends. While some may consider it some sort of demotion (including myself, haha), or perhaps an unnecessary detour, all I know is that the destination is what I have set my eyes on.

I know that how things eventually turned out was not the original plan, let alone the ideal. But in the end, I was at peace with everything – with all that I’ve been through, with all that I’ve decided. Last New Year’s Eve, as I welcomed 2010 in the company of my beloved family, I felt inner peace that I’ve never felt for years. For some reason, I just knew – I had faith! – that everything will be alright. I know it won’t be easy (is it ever?), but I know that I have what it takes, regardless of what school I graduated from.

Sometimes, I still miss what was – the place, the people, the culture. Often, I wonder what could have been – what or where I should be right now, or by now. But miss and wonder all I want, I know that what is right now is what I have control of. So whatever 2010 has in store for me, I know that I am ready. Bring it on!

24 + 1 = 25

2009-12-29T01:20:00.002+08:00

So this is the mandatory birthday reflection post. It’s basically a requirement I impose on myself, haha.

Since it was my 25th birthday, I guess I should incorporate a certain gimmick to commemorate this life milestone. But there’s no time to come up with one! Haha!

I’ve written numerous drafts for this post, and ended up starting over. I wish I could share something non-cliché but all I want to say is actually just quite simple. So simple that any 25-year old would probably say the same thing, haha!

My first 25 years as a person here on earth has been wonderful and memorable. But I must say that the last 4 or 5 years has been especially momentous and crucial, hehe. I’ve had a pretty normal and enjoyable childhood and teenage years, but the latter part my college life and its protracted extension were both positively and negatively eventful, I feel like it summarizes my life so far.

At 25, I feel like I’ve been through so much already and yet I know that there are still a lot of things I haven’t done that I should’ve done by now. But one thing is for sure, I know that my 25-year experience and the lessons I’ve learned from it will be what I would need to go through the next 25 years of my life. I know that this era will be much tougher. The worst of the problems I’ve had before would be nothing compared to the problems I’d face many, many years from now. But I just know that my parents raised me well (even as they think otherwise during the occasional sermons that I still get even if I am already 25, haha) and that I will be ready with each challenge as it comes, may it be emotional, spiritual or even financial, haha.

On a lighter note...
On the night of my 25th birthday, I was awaken in my nap by my beloved Aguman orgmates with a chocolate cake and a loads and loads of isaw. This is the third straight year I was surprised on my birthday by friends. Nako, baka masanay ako niyan. Next year, mag-eexpect na ako. Haha! I wanted a meaningful and heartwarming birthday, and that was exactly what I got. ;)

24 + 0.99 = 24.99

2009-12-13T00:11:00.001+08:00

24 hours from now I will be 25 years old. That’s like quarter of a century already! Dana, katwa, haha.

And just like last year, I won’t be able to freely celebrate because I am swamped with school stuff. The only difference is that last year, I was struggling to keep up with my academic workload. This time, I’m actually struggling to maintain an impressive standing. My stress level tonight (and in the coming days) is just the same as last year’s, and yet my targets are worlds apart. What a difference a year makes! Haha!

My mind is actually in disarray right now that’s why even if I want to write an introspection, I’m unable to. Let’s try to unclutter with these random updates:

*I want a new pair of rubber shoes so that I can be totally inspired to jog during the Christmas holidays. I don’t want a repeat of last year’s 18-pound holiday weigh gain!

*I’m going to definitely miss Glee. It will be on a break until April 13, 2010. The fall finale was such a blast though.

*I received a medal last Monday for being a Dean’s Lister and the feeling was surreal. It was a great feeling though. It’s just that the pride I felt for my achievement was like something I was feeling for the first time and yet I know that I’ve felt this way before. I guess, it’s just because it been such a long time, haha!

*I have a new sideline! I’m a LoadXtreme retailer. All kinds of load are available -- Globe, Sun, Sun Broadband, Smart, SmartBro, Talk'N'Text, TM, PLDT, Internet Card load, Online Games and many more. I don’t earn a lot since my ‘customer market’ is just my circle friends and classmates. Most of them are even delayed in payment because most of the time they’d asked to be loaded in the middle of the night while. Haha! But nevertheless, what I get to earn is actually more rewarding than it seems given how I don’t really exert much effort in this kind of business.

Despite the fact that I’m going to be swamped on my birthday, I’m still looking forward to it. Well, who wouldn’t, right? Haha. But it’s not because I will have a party or some sort of a huge celebration (I won’t). I just love owning my special day every year. And I don’t mind being older either. I’m not really dreaming of a birthday extravaganza. I just want it to be meaningful and sentimental.

Oh, by the way, this will be my first birthday in the era of Facebook. Sana kayanin ng powers ko ang lahat ng babati sa wall ko! Haha!

Feeler™

2009-12-07T18:09:00.002+08:00

The heart will think what it wants to think.

How many times have we thought we had something, when in fact we had nothing? We just got hurt, we just got disappointed.

We can't blame our heart though if it always roots for us, wanting us to be happy, or have the chance to be so.

The heart will think what it wants to think.

But don't you think it should just leave all the thinking to the brain?

The author writes original text quotes whenever inspiration strikes him, most often as he lies down his bed to sleep. This post, is one of them. Real life events or problems of his or of his friends are usually what triggers these sudden "pa-profound" moments.

When You Know

2009-12-03T23:49:00.000+08:00

Much of my online life for the past month or so was spent on reading up on a lot of current events and political opinions and pieces. It’s because I’ve obviously been bitten with the 2010 Presidential Elections fever.

But the thing is, it actually stresses me out!

Politics has never been one of my favorite topics. Although I am mostly updated with the major news headlines and might share in the public outrage with whatever recent injustice is out there, debating about politics is something I’d rather not engage in. Firstly, it’s because I admit I don’t have a deeper understanding of what goes on and what the repercussions are for us or for the country. Secondly, defending my political opinion requires intellectual sophistication compared to deliberating my showbiz or entertainment rants and raves, haha! I would much rather enjoy nitpicking on local or foreign entertainment issues. Doing that in political issues unarmed with a lot of facts is just idiotic.

Having said that, I’ve managed to engage in two online discussions about politics in the past month. One is over a forum and the other one is over a mailing list. The latter was quite more enlightening for me because it allowed me to learn from older and most definitely wiser people. But in the former, someone accused me of not doing my homework and for that branded me ‘nakakahiya’, haha! And it’s all because I didn’t happen to share his opinion (which was totally biased by the way!).

But the thing is, the current state of our country and society requires such in depth rumination from all of us, especially those who will vote in next year’s elections. I believe it’s actually our job to be in-the-know. It’s not fair to just decide whether we like a candidate or not based on our whims.

So for now, I will most definitely visit Inquirer more than the Philippine Entertainment Portal. I know that I like being updated on entertainment news but with all the political jokes running for office, following Philippine politics can be just as entertaining.

Sweet Dreams or a Beautiful Nightmare?

2009-11-22T23:09:00.005+08:00

When we went to Puregold Duty Free Clark this afternoon, I just knew I would have some fun shopping for chocolates. There was no pretending on my part. The moment we stepped in the place, I went straight to the chocolates sections. Haha!

And my, the Cadbury aisle was a revelation. It. Just. Blew. Me. Away!

Cashews. Top Deck. Black Forest. Peppermint. Caramello. Rocky Road. Old Jamaican. Macadamia. Tiramisu. Creme Brulee. I obviously can't take them all. I had to make the hard decision.

I will definitely go to sleep with a smile and wake up with a fat ass. Haha! Must find a way to eventually burn 5000+ worth of calories!

Mark this day -- November 22, 2009. Let's see til when these chocolates will last. ;)

Daytime Swimming "Soiree"

2009-11-14T14:08:00.007+08:00

Last weekend, I had a fun time with some Aguman orgmates that I haven’t seen in a long time.

It all started when I, along with some recently graduated Aguman members, weren’t able to join the official Semstarter swimming party last May because it was held on a weekday. The weekday schedule did not mesh well with our schedule. Being the “pabida” that I am, I joked that we will just organize our own swimming party, haha! Months after, we decided to actually push through with that idea. Of course, it really wasn’t our ‘own’ party because everyone was invited. We just spearheaded the occasion.

Naturally, I was the self-appointed coordinator, haha. Planning the thing was fun for me. Images of Monica organizing Rachel’s surprise birthday party come to mind. Tuscan-style finger foods, anyone? Haha! Special thanks to my awesome sister Ate Joi for helping me with the grocery shopping and the cooking, and for Kuya Dennis for being my service, hehe!

We had Three-Cheese Tuna Penne courtesy of yours truly, Creamy Carbonara courtesy of Andre, Pork Lenggua courtesy of Ate Joi (Actually, it’s not really lenggua since the meat used was not really pork tongue, but Ate Joi cooked it lenggua style with cream, corn and mushrooms), and Chicken Asado courtesy of Yek’s mom. I also mixed Skittles Vodka in five separate bottles (one per Skittles flavor) which was actually a bigger hit than I expected, but not really for its taste but for what is caused! Haha! Rej also brought some ice cream.

The topic for most of the whole-day affair was mainly ‘catching up’. Like I said, many of us haven’t seen each other for months and years and so the usual questions were “Where ka mag-work ngeni?”, “Boy! Komusta na!” and “Ta y kayi (insert name of an old Aguman flame here), komusta na kayu?” followed with a naughty smile by the person who asked and a boisterous laughter by the rest! Haha!

It really felt like we were just in the old Aguman tambayan, especially with the structure and setup of the cottage. We ate, talked, joked, teased and laughed like we were in the old Aguman tambayan. The only difference was there was a swimming pool nearby. In some moments, it even felt like there was an application period going on. We were a mixture of young alumni and resident members – in which some of the younger ones never got to meet the older ones because by the time the former entered the org, the latter have already graduated. It really was classic Aguman tambayan fun.

Days prior the event was quite stressful, but with a tinge of excitement, haha! It was stressful because coordinating a party is never an easy task. But the thing is, it was more stressful mainly because of all the many weekends of the trimester, my subjects chose the weekend of our swimming party to pile up on assignments and machine problems. More so, sudden cancellations the night before (and even on the day itself) were unfortunate and disappointing. Most of them had the basic courtesy to inform me first hand, but I couldn’t help but still feel down because these people who had to cancel for valid reasons were the same people for whom we planned this party. Plus, logistically speaking, it meant some details for the party had to be adjusted. I ended up shouldering the excess costs. But at the end of the day, it was well worth it. A fun day well-spent with long-time buddies – you can’t put a price on that.

Let me end this post by sharing some juicy details!
*The party was initially dubbed "Swimming Soiree" even as it was to be held during the day, simply because yours truly wanted a rhyming title and that I didn't really realize that a soiree is held during the night and usually at one's own home. At least I really knew how to pronounce it! Haha!
*Two alumni were competing on whose pasta was more delicious. In the end, it was a tie. Or was it really? Haha!
*One alumnus quickly gulped three shots of concentrated Skittles Vodka. No wonder he behaved ‘badly’ after.
*Two alumnae came to the swimming party in sort-of party dresses. But they did bring swimming gear.
*One alumnus put pork lenggua sauce on the spaghetti noodles instead of the creamy carbonara sauce. “Eh sa masarap rin naman eh!”
*Two alumni and three members never actually swam. So they just manned the cottage! Haha!
*The cottage for the swimming party was reserved a month before. But as it turned out, it seemed the said reservation was good for the whole resort because no other guests were swimming with the AguPips in the public pools!
*The only noises to be heard throughout the whole resort were the frantic antics and the videoke wailing of the AguPips.
*In classic Aguman humor, old love teams were revived. AguPips really love their own brand of gossip and romance. Heck, even a new Aguman pair was born right there and then!
*An alumnus and a resident member, whose batches were 6 years apart got too cozy for comfort. Talk about “Love in the Time of Alcohol” (Gulapa, 2009).

And some quotable quotes:
”It was so much fun to see the alumni again and bond with them without being terrorized. Hahaha!”

“Ot minta ku pa keni nung ali ku mag-swimming ne?!”

“Kaya ba nag-med si Jean para gamutin ang sakit ni Dennis?”

“Wuy Cy, antayu ing panty ku?!”

“Oh, ikatamu mo? Antalu reng resident kids?” Everyone looked at Anj.

“Oh, asan na si Ngot, hindi ba siya darating?”

“Hoy! Sige, mag-swimming lang kayo diyan, basta huwag kayo mamamatay!”

“Aydamo, Porsh! Kapayat mo!” This was actually uttered by a number of people, hehe!

Photos courtesy of Cyrille, Denesse, Michael and Dawn. ;)
For more pictures, click here.

Random Stuff

2009-11-07T04:04:00.004+08:00

I’ve been gone for many weeks again. I’m so sorry my dear blog for neglecting you again. But since you financed my recent fruitful trips to the mall, I must update you now! Haha.

It’s already 3.24am. I am already sleepy and I should be sleeping hours ago because I’m supposed to be up early tomorrow. I really feel the need to update but I don’t have enough time to mull over a post of considerable length. I’ll just post a series of random stuff, haha!

They say it's wise to know when to shut up. I say there's more wisdom in knowing when NOT to start talking at all. For the nth time, I found myself in a word match – and over the internet no less. My friends know that I have a lot of things to say when it comes to these situations, haha, but as I typed a lengthy contention I’m glad I stopped myself soon enough before I say something stupid.

Ang nagsindi nitong ilaw, walang iba kundi Ikaw. Salamat sa liwanag mo, muling magkakakulay ang Pasko. Dahil ikaw Bro, ang star ng Pasko. ABS-CBN has released its Christmas station ID already and I really love the theme song. I really feel the Christmas season already. The song was playing on loop on my mp3 player while I was on a bus to Pampanga, and there was a moment when I got a little emotional as I was digesting the lyrics. The past year has been a tough one for me yet again. And while I recognize that it’s nothing compared to the horror and devastation that the Ondoy and Pepeng victims have experienced, I am still deeply thankful to Him for seeing me through the hardest times.

I’m a Lynette Scavo. I’ve realized more than ever, I have the need to control everything. Doing so makes me feel safe, as if I have a fear that everything will fall apart if I can’t control it. Is it because I don’t trust in other people? Maybe, haha. Joke. I guess that for the things that I know I do well in, I just feel the need to take over. But I am definitely not a know-it-all. For things I am idiotic about, I let the experts take control. Besides, doing what we do best gives us a sense of fulfillment, right? But more often than not, I end up being overwhelmed with responsibilities or stuff-to-do. Haha!

But on a different note, I love surprises – moments I have no control of! Haha. Well, at least the good ones. I mean, on top of the problems we already have, who would appreciate another dilemma that comes out in the left field?

Love has its limits (Cristina Yang, 2005). It does, doesn’t it? Why do people lose reason when they fall? But then again, I would know right now, hehe. Maybe it’s one of those mysteries of love you wouldn’t really understand once you’ve experienced it yourself.

That’s it for now. Super random stuff, right? Told ya.

List of Things I love about THE Pautakan

2009-10-15T20:20:00.003+08:00

When I realize that October is approaching, two happy thoughts enter my mind: relaxation and excitement. Relaxation because October means sembreak and excitement because it is Pautakan month! Yey!

My love story with the Pautakan started when I was in Grade 6 and I was asked to be part of the elementary Pautakan team of Don Bosco Academy. I was no stranger when it comes to academic contests because I’ve joined quite a number of intra-school competitions but participating in Pautakan 1996 was my first time to represent my school versus other schools. I was fairly confident about our team because I thought we were smart enough. But I guess I over-rated us because our team placed a measly 5th out of a field of 6 teams, haha.

And now it’s October once again and while this month is no longer relatable to relaxation anymore (I’m on a trimestral schedule so October is actually a month of regular classes), I am still most definitely excited about THE Pautakan. So for this month’s column, I will list down the things I love about Pautakan which makes me this effing excited about it!

This post is actually for my column in my org's website, so to read the rest, click here.

"Kita niyo naman -- meynteyn!"

2009-10-14T20:50:00.008+08:00

Salesian schools like my high school alma mater Don Bosco Academy believe in the Preventive System of Education. “Prevention” for Don Bosco is to help or educate the youth before he or she gets into trouble. So in line with this, I’ve decided to lose weight now so when the Christmas season arrives in all its culinary splendor of Christmas goodies and treats, I won’t balloon again to a waistline that would limit the number of pants I can wear by half. Haha!

I’ve always been the skinny type until my latter years in college. I really don’t know the turning point when I started to gain weight but I didn’t really mind because at least I wasn’t so thin anymore. But then I gained more weight than I wanted and soon found myself not being able to wear some of my favorite pairs of pants anymore, haha!

I ballooned to my biggest size back in January 2009. I don’t really know what happened because that Christmas wasn’t so different from the previous Christmases. Some friends say it’s because I ate too many chocolates (my parents are OFWs and they go home every Christmas) but the thing was, last time was actually the first time wherein there were still lots of chocolates even after the holidays. That means that relatively speaking, I was able to control myself in terms of sweets intake, haha!

The most perceptible indication of that record breaking weight gain in such a short span of time was when I tried on a new shirt that I bought before Christmas. My gad, it was already sooo effing tight! Haha! Back when I first tried it on when I bought it, it was just the right fit and now three weeks later, what the hell happened?!

So Oplan Diet-Dietan commenced immediately after. I termed it “Diet-dietan” because it wasn’t a real strict diet, because I knew I wasn’t disciplined enough to crash diet myself to my good old thin-dom days. Haha! I contented with a number of resolutions to gradually shed off the holiday pounds. I never ate second servings of rice anymore; I jogged around UP at least once week; I walked to and fro school buildings instead of riding the Ikot/Toki jeep (I almost resorted to also walking home, haha); and I started to opt for wheat bread again instead of white bread. My efforts weren’t as fruitful because the first quarter of the year was quite stressful for me (thus, increased consumption of comfort foods), so I just managed to lose around 5 pounds.

One time last summer, I decided to take out all my favourite shirts that I couldn’t wear anymore because I was too big for them. I took a picture and I made it the wallpaper in my cell phone, haha! I figured I would be more conscious of the need to lose weight if I am constantly reminded of the things I’ve ‘lost’ due to my weight gain.

The change in my daily routine when I transferred to AMA definitely helped. I was far less sedentary because my commute to and fro school was in itself tiring already. Plus, during my 1-hour vacant periods, I had to climb up to the 4th floor to hang out at the library because initially, I didn’t have friends and lunch buddies yet, haha! I also started to eat salad for dinner more often.

After a couple of months, I jumped with glee when I tipped the scale almost 20 pounds lighter compared to when I did so back in January 2009.

Although I haven’t checked my weight recently because our scale was borrowed by someone and they haven’t returned it yet, I feel I gained a few vacation pounds again (half of September was our trimestral break, plus the one week suspension of classes no thanks to Ondoy). It would take at least a couple of months to shed these off. And by then, it would be December already! I don’t want to deprive myself of abundant Christmas joy and cheer come December, so I definitely don’t plan to diet during that period. I mean come on! Who diets at a time when food is exceptionally bountiful and delightful?! So I am going to diet and do more exercise in advance. Haha!

Besides, eating less is beneficial not only to my waistline but also to my wallet.

PS. When I finished this entry, I refreshed my Facebook feed and found a link for an application that gives a random quote from the 2007 movie "One More Chance". Since the JLC-Bea starrer is a nostalgic favourite of mine, I tried it out for fun. I got “Bawal cholesterol, masama sa katawan”. This is definitely an affirmative sign. Haha!

And in case you didn't know, the title is a quote from Marian Rivera and all her English pronunciation and diction glory, in one of her Fit'N'Right commercials a year ago. =P

Take a bow

2009-10-03T13:51:00.004+08:00

I love experimenting with tastes and ingredients whenever I "try to cook". And whenever I engage in these culinary trials, I am mostly my own guinea pig. And rightly so, because sometimes, what I mix and match are not your traditional combinations so if tastes awful, no other people would be adversely affected. Haha! But hey, for the most part, I do like what I come up with.

When my sister and brother-in-law leave the house to go somewhere or for errands and leave their three kids under my care, they often let me cook whatever I want for lunch or dinner. In these instances, my three nephews become my three guinea pigs. Haha! And hey (again), I haven’t cooked anything that they didn’t like. That could mean two things though – either I am really that good or they are just not too picky. But at the very least, children are honest, right? ;)

Take for example the lunch we had today. Ate Joi told me to just cook my tuna with tomatoes & basil dish for lunch. But there weren’t any tomatoes left in the refrigerator so I opt for just tuna with basil. And out of nowhere, I just thought of adding cream cheese and put around one and a half spoonfuls of it (for two cans of tuna). I cooked it until it was pretty dry and a little crispy (but not burned, okay, hehe).

And this was the result:

After they were through eating, I asked my nephews out loud, “Oh ano, anong lasa ng ulam?” (Note that I didn’t ask “Masarap ba ang ulam niyo?”, lest I be accused of conditioning them, haha).

Even if they were located in different parts of the house, they immediately answered in unison:
Jasper (who was already busy playing with the personal computer): Masarap!
Darryl (who was already busy playing with the PS3): Masarap!
Justin (who was near Darryl but busy with something else): Masarap!

Darryl: Diba yun naman ang lagi mong niluluto?
Me: Hindi, walang tomatoes eh. May iba akong nilagay. Wala ba kayong ibang nalasahan?
Justin: Meron, yung masarap.

Aww, aren't my nephews so supportive? Haha!
Bow. ;)

Eto na lang ang natira pagkatapos nilang kumain.

Sleeker than your average

2009-09-30T02:25:00.011+08:00

My new laptop is now more-than-a-month-old! Yey!

I was supposed to blog about this over the weekend, but I was too tired then and all the Ondoy blues just killed the celebratory mood for it.

Hello Kingfisher!
So anyway, it’s been a month now since I bought my current laptop, which I baptized “Kingfisher”. I named it after my moniker in the UP Aguman – I’m supposed to be the king when it comes to squeezing out information (others call it gossip, haha) out of people.

Some Specifications: Lenovo IdeaPad Y450
Processor: Intel Core2 Duo P8600 @ 2.40Ghz
RAM: 4.00GB
Hard disk: 450GB
Video Card: Nvidia GeForce
Screen: 14.1”, 1366 x 768 resolution
Weight: 4.6 lbs / 2.08 kg
uilt-in Camera, Microphone, Blutooth, Wi-Fi, Card Reader and DVD-RW drive

When my parents gave me the go signal to check out computer shops to know what unit I would buy, I was heavily leaning towards HP. After all, my previous laptop, which lasted for 4 good years, is HP. Plus, I do prefer the sleek look of most HP laptops and its soft-touch and easy-click touchpad and buttons. In fact, when I was checking out the available laptops, first thing I do was to type with the keypad and click with the touchpad! If it didn’t feel right, then I wouldn’t consider that model anymore, haha!

To cut the search-for-my-new-laptop story short, I finally found this Lenovo model which was perfectly suited to my taste and needs.

Felt like a child again
You could just imagine how excited I was, haha! I felt like a kid who will be brought to the carnival park for the first time. I think the last time I was that restlessly excited was in 1995 (I was 11 years old then), when my family went to Bahrain to visit my father who works there. It was my first time to ride an airplane and to go to another country so I was obviously thrilled. Our flight was sometime around 10am. So taking into consideration the time all of us needed to prepare, it meant I had to wake up at 4am. I was supposed to sleep early but I was just so excited that even if I already lay in my bed at around 10am, I remember being still awake at 2am. Haha!

The same feeling was all too familiar the days before I was scheduled to buy the new laptop. It was right smack in the middle of my final exams which proved to be a boon and bane at the same time. It was a boon because having something to do like studying for my exams provided a distraction from thinking that “Yey! I will buy a new laptop!” But then it was a bane because how the hell could I concentrate in studying for my exams when all I could think of was “Yey! I will buy a new laptop!” Haha!

The IdeaPad Experience
So after having used it for more than a month now, I have to say that I am totally satisfied with it, for a number of reasons:
*It’s my first time to have a widescreen laptop so I had to adjust. I actually didn’t like widescreens before because I guess I just wasn’t accustomed to it. But now, I love the widescreen feel because there is just so much space to work on, haha!

Here's my current screen! I expand my main window to the usual size, as in a
1024x768 resolution, which leaves enough room for my chat software on the left!
Now I don't to ALT-Tab my way to either windows when I have to.

*I totally dig all its features! Four USB ports (I used to have only 1), built-in Blutooth (I don’t have to use my dongle anymore), built-in camera and microphone (It’s much more fun being Skype now, haha). Many things are much easier now.
*Windows Vista was pre-installed but since I don’t like Vista, I immediately upgraded it to Windows 7. Aside from its far superior (at least visually) interface compared to XP, one of my favourite screen tricks is dragging windows to the left and right edges – then the respective windows automatically expand to half of the screen. I also like the way the task bar it “dockable”.
*In a nutshell, it’s new, so it’s automatic that I’d like it more, hehe! It’s lighter and the look is sleeker. The battery life is much, much longer now. The speakers sound much better now because it’s not ‘sabog’ anymore, haha! And the touchpad and buttons are soft to click and scroll with, just the way I like it!

Whatever happened to KINGDOM?
So where’s my old laptop now? My sister is now enjoying it, hehe! So even if it has no reliable USB ports anymore, its speakers are so ‘sabog’ already and its optical drive doesn’t properly burn/read discs anymore, it is still highly usable for my sister’s needs.

The transition and migration of files to my new laptop took more than a week. Good thing it coincided with my trimestral vacation so I had all the time to do so. There was even a point where I spoke to it and said my proper farewell. Haha! What can I say, I am a sentimental person and my old laptop served me well for the past four years. (Ilang thesis rin ang tinry ko tinapos dun. Haha!)

As a remembrance, I took a snapshot of my desktop with Kingdom, haha! Sobrang cheesy! I reformatted it after, for my sister.

So now, I am gonna totally take good care of my new laptop. You would laugh at how I sweet-talked my parents to buy me a new one. It’s not that I’m such a spoiled brat and that I always get what I ask for. Let’s just say that I presented my case for a new laptop well. After all, I’ve proven time and again in the UP EEE that writing appeal letters is my forte. Haha!

A quick shout out to the following people:
*Argel, who offered his advice on what brand to buy. And I have to emphasize, when I was scouting for my new laptop, his voice was constantly in my head. He kept telling me, "Buy the more expensive one!" Hahaha! Joke.
*John Carl, who helped me out with my OS dilemmas and for teaching me the Windows 7 tricks.
*And of course, to my parents, who paid for my new laptop. Nakakahiya man, but at 24, nagpapabili pa rin ako. Haha!

Stuck in a moment (and you can't get out of it)

2009-09-28T23:41:00.007+08:00

I'm not afraid
Of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard
I'm just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
~”Stuck In A Moment” by U2

I’m a firm believer of the “keep moving forward” maxim so I never thought there will come a time I’d be able to totally and literally relate to this U2 track. Haha!

I actually started to write this post aboard a Victory Liner bus in EDSA. We’ve been on the same spot near the National Printing Office for more than an hour already and I was getting bored.

Haay, deciding to brave the heavy rains to go home to Pampanga was sooo not a good idea. Haha! I knew there was a typhoon and all but I share the rest of the country’s surprise and didn’t think the rain would be this bad.

At around 12:30pm
I didn’t even wait for the rain to subside and left our QC apartment at 12:30pm. By the time I reached the tricycle terminal of our neighborhood, my pants were already drenched up to the knee level. I had an umbrella, but the rain was just too strong. So I decided to take a taxi to the Victory Liner terminal in Cubao.

The chatty taxi driver turned on the AM radio and the reports were all about how some towns and neighborhoods all over Luzon are already deeply flooded. One of the officials on the radio even reminded the public to just stay at home (Sorry naman! Haha!).

The major and minor roads leading to Cubao all seemed flooded already so I told the driver to take me to TriNoma instead. I figured that provincial buses pass by there anyway so given how inconvenient it would be to have to drive all the way to Cubao, it would be more practical to do so, for me and for the taxi driver. We ended up somewhere along East Avenue and Agham Road. He turned left somewhere because there seemed to be heavy traffic ahead. And so we finally reached EDSA via the street beside the National Printing Office.

Vehicles along EDSA were on a standstill. And this is where I found the first bus I was in.

At around 1:30pm
The bus only had a few passengers and I thought the hassles of that trip home would end there. I was wrong of course.

When the bus barely moved and the smaller vehicles around were already turning back around, it started to get obvious that indeed, the storm Ondoy was like no other.

The thought of just going back to the apartment crossed my mind. But Argel (my housemate) told me electricity was out already so I decided to just be patient and stick with my decision to go home. I sure didn’t want to be stuck in a dark apartment without food and electricity. By this time, I was resigned to the fact that going home might take a few more hours than expected. Normally, going home from our QC apartment to our home in Pampanga took 2 hours tops. I never imagined that it would take 10x longer that day!

At around 4pm
Good thing that by this time, the rain was not as strong anymore and somehow, the flooding in the EDSA-Quezon Avenue junction somehow has subsided enough to make it passable to large vehicles.

Minutes later, we found ourselves near TriNoma (Landmark-MRT exit/entrance). By this time, I badly needed to pee already so I decided to get off the bus and relieve myself at a public CR in TriNoma. I thought of watching a movie first (at naisip ko pa daw manood ng sine, haha!) and try to go home again after because I figured it would take another hour or two for the flooding to subside some more. But then I saw another Victory Liner bus coming so I decided to ride in it already thinking that there won’t be any more trips later that evening.

At around 6pm
A reporter on an ABS-CBN news break unfortunately reported that the NLEX has been closed due to flooding in the Valenzuela and Balintawak area. Exasperated gasps were heard on the bus, haha! A few minutes after, some passengers got off the bus and decided to just go back to their city homes/apartments. I had to rethink my own situation. If I go back to our apartment in Diliman, I would have to wade through the waist-deep flood in Philcoa (as reported in the TV), not to mention that I’d probably have to walk all the way from EDSA to there. So I decided to stay, hoping that in a few hours, traffic will already move forward and that at least, I’m dry and safe inside the bus.

I didn’t realize it then, but now I do: I seemed to downplay the gravity of the situation. At first, I didn’t think the rains would be that bad. And even when it was obvious that it would worse than I expected, I didn’t still think that it would be as bad as it turned out to be. I guess each time the situation got worse, my line of thinking was “Okay so it’s worse than I expected. But hey, it probably won’t get any worse than this”. Too bad, the situation just kept getting worse each hour.

At around 8pm
The raging afternoon rain mellowed to an evening drizzle. For four hours, the bus was practically parked along EDSA near TriNoma. All the passengers in the bus killed time by watching the Ondoy onslaught coverage and Gerald Anderson’s Tiagong Akyat on ABS-CBN, and Who Wants To Be A Millionaire and Talentadong Pinoy on TV5.

It was around this time when traffic flow finally progressed, albeit only a bit. The bus moved from a spot near TriNoma to a spot near the new SM City North EDSA Annex. I thought that we could all finally go home, but alas, it really wasn’t meant to be just yet. By this time, my laptop has already been drained (I played Monopoly to kill time), and the battery charge of my phone is down to 1 bar (I played Tetris). So I just decided to try to catch some sleep because I finally resigned to the fact that it’s going to be a long night.

At around 10pm
The bus finally entered the North Luzon Expressway! Whew! The road was filled with muck and debris from the flash flood that rampaged the area earlier in the evening.

Again, I was fooled into thinking that it would be smooth sailing from now on, because after all, we were already in the NLEX. But all the stranded vehicles strewn in random spots along the way proved to be the worst problem of the night. By 12mn, we haven’t even reached the Toll Plaza of the southbound lane (which means we weren’t even into 10% of the way home)!

At around 6am
It was around this time when the problematic portions of the road were finally over. The bus picked up speed and it finally felt like we were in an expressway. The sun was already rising (although still covered by dangerous-looking clouds) and it was barely raining anymore. The visual extent of the damage wrought by Ondoy in the Central Luzon landscape was already apparent. What used to be lush emerald fields was now a seemingly endless and depressing sea of calamity.

At around 7am
We finally reached the San Fernando Exit of the NLEX. I planned to go to McDonald’s first for a quick breakfast (by this time, it has already been a good 21 hours since I last ate anything) but alas, the store at the Dolores intersection was closed. So I just went straight home.

I’ve never felt so relieved to reach home! Haha! I spent almost 20 hours on the road. The last time I was stranded that long on the road was back in 1991 during the eruption of Mount Pinatubo. Our relatives from Porac who evacuated to our place in San Fernando had to go back to salvage more stuff. My sisters and I tagged along but we didn’t make it all the way back because the major bridge connecting Angeles City and Porac already collapsed due to the lahar flow caused by Mount Pinatubo. We were stranded on the way home because that afternoon was the peak of the eruption and we all know how much ash and rock Pinatubo spewed into the atmosphere.

People at home were just starting to wake up when I arrived. After cooking a quick corned beef breakfast, I finally laid in my bed to get some proper sleep. I was even supposed to go to Mass at 8:30am in our parish church and attend the ComLec meeting after (I was planning to join), but I guess when you’ve just spent 20 hours on a bus ride, plans change. Haha! Good thing though, NK (a friend from ComLec) texted me that the meeting was postponed anyway.

The black dots indicate my relative location during the indicated times.
The red line marks my general route.(Click the photo above for a bigger view)

So that’s my recap of my Ondoy ordeal over the weekend. To be honest, as inconvenient as my experience was, I didn’t feel like complaining. I mean, after all, I was just bored to death at worst. Compare that to what other people experienced, right? I am just thankful that in the end, I was alright.

Ondoy was indeed a wake-up call for all of us Filipinos in so many levels. Some warned that we should be generally prepared for these kinds of natural disasters. We’re no stranger to typhoons after all. Some suggested that the government should allot more budgets for these kinds of emergency. I’m sure that most government and non-government institutions are doing their best to help out in any way with their limited resources. Some say this should teach us to take care of our environment better. Imagine if the sewerage systems, rivers and creeks all over the metro weren’t polluted with garbage, I’m sure the magnitude of the effect of the flash flood wouldn’t be this bad. Some pointed at how Ondoy was the great social equalizer. After all, the rich and poor alike were equally helpless when stuck in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Here’s hoping that this time, the government and we, as a people, would all finally learn our lesson. How many times have we experienced disasters of similar scale although in different forms? And yet we still seem to be clueless for long term solutions.

Looking on the bright side, isn’t it amazing how resilient as a people we are? I mean no disrespect for those who perished in this tragedy and those whose houses and livelihood were immensely damaged. But we have to take note of how these kinds of tragedies still managed to bring out the best in all of us. The way we rallied help for those in need in various and modern forms is truly a ray of hope and something to be proud of, eh?

Now for those who took advantage of these situation to forward their personal and political ambitions, now that’s for another post! Haha!

A Time For Everything

2009-09-20T23:48:00.001+08:00

For quite some time now, I feel like I am always running out of time. This really sucks because technically, I should have ample time for all the stuff that I want to do, may it be for my studies, for Aguman, for my downloaded shows (haha!) or for my other personal errands or plans. But alas, I find myself often not being able to do all that I need do in time. Although, I was still able to finish the more important tasks like reports just in the nick of time, but not without much hassles.

For example, last trimester, I ended up working on two major reports until 4am. Now, these two reports weren’t even that hard in the sense that I already had all the material I had and that I need not stay that late into the night to finish it. But I did, no thanks to my lack of focus and procrastination the nights before they were due. Yeah, yeah, I produced topnotch outputs in those reports and even presented them with confidence the day after despite lacking sleep. But the fact that I had to stay up late for something as minor as those reports compared to all the other major stuff I pulled all-nighters on, now that is really disappointingly frustrating.

Another example would be this very blog. For the past month or so, I haven’t been blogging as much as I want to (which I already tackled a few posts earlier). I have this backlog of posts for major topics (Cory Aquino, the conclusion of my first trimester at AMA, my new laptop, etc) and yet, I have not started to write about any of them. And with the rate things are going I might end up sharing my thoughts about them at a time when they would be sooo yesterday, haha!

I really need to have a more efficient time management. There are so many things I want to do and I know I have enough time for all of them. It’s just I need to properly allocate my time so that I can maximize its use.

Despite the presence of oh so many reminders for my different tasks, my Rainlendar (calendar and personal organizer application) seems useless. Perhaps I’ve been desensitized of its constant presence on my desktop (not to mention the small font, I haven’t figured out how to increase the size, if it’s even possible). I’ve tried personal diaries and organizers before – they just ended up being logbooks of what I’ve done instead of systematizing what I should be doing.

Oh what should I do?! For someone who is supposed to be an OC when it comes to these things, this is darn quietly infuriating.

I guess what I need is a personal assistant. Anyone who is meticulous, responsible and who speaks/write decent grammar is more than welcome to apply. Haha!