“Am I a good person? Not a joke. Not rhetorical.”
“You’re the best person I know. Everything you do, you do for others.”
“And why is that?”
“I have not a clue. But you obviously get some sort of sick satisfaction out of it.”
In this scene in the movie “The Blind Side”, Sandra Bullock’s character Leigh Ann Tuohy reflects on her ‘goodness’ as a person. She and her family welcomed a young Black man named Michael Oher into their home and pretty much treated him like one of them. The Tuohys are your typical Southern white family and the fact that Michael is black was one of the salient twists to this true story.
The goodness of the Tuohys is sort of questioned in the movie (you just watch it yourself to find out why so). And in this particular scene I quoted above, I somehow found myself reflecting on my own ‘goodness’ as a person. Am I really a good person? Am I so because I really just am, or because I just want to be so?
********
To say that my parents are good people is probably an understatement. Ask all of our relatives that they have helped emotionally and financially, and they will definitely agree. Ask our neighbors, ask our Parish Church, ask their Filipino friends in Bahrain, ask the people from the villages they grew up from – they will all concur. My folks are truly good and very helpful people.
Often, Mama would tell me that when I’d already have a stable job, I should not forget to ‘help out’ the less fortunate as well, to give to charity, to help a relative, etc, etc. Of course I’d gladly say yes, but would go on to quip that I haven’t even graduated and yet I already feel like I am already sending a poor relative to school to give them a brighter future. Hehe!
Often, I’d have issues with my folks’ seemingly endless goodness and helpfulness to others, especially in times when they’d reprimand us for spending too much on certain stuff (take note: ‘too much’ here is highly relative, hehe!). But at the end of the day, I do understand the bigger picture. If there’s a way for you to help, you just do it. And this is one of the more precious values my parents have instilled in us their children.
I would like to think that indeed, I am a good person. Of course, I know I am far from perfect. But generally speaking, I feel that I am good. Haha, talk about pagbubuhat ng sariling bangko!
********
It’s easy to be good when it’s convenient. When you have lots of money, it’s easy to give to charity. When you have plenty of time, it’s easy to go out of your way to give someone a favor. And I think you will all agree, when everyone is looking (or is aware), it’s much more rewarding, haha.
But I think being good takes much more effort than it seems. Sometimes we say that certain people are so good that being so comes naturally to them or that they were born that way. For me, being good requires a certain values and principle set – wisdom, maturity, empathy and selflessness – and it’s easy to understand why. To be mature and wise is to know what to do and often, when to do it. To be empathetic is to be able to feel what others feel without having to be literal about it. And lastly to be selfless – well, this one’s no brainer. To have something in you that move you to be there for someone and putting their needs and interest first before your own, that’s definitely selfless.
But I personally think that being good also requires courage and nobility.
You know, being good or helping someone out is not always difficult because the circumstances make it so. Often, what makes it complicated is the attitude of the very people you are helping and the consequences of doing so.
There are times when the help is unwanted or unappreciated. Or, as in the case of the Tuohys in “The Blind Side”, it is even doubted.
So for me, it takes a stronger character to be good not just in the times when you easily can, but also in the times when it’s difficult but you do it anyway because you know it’s the right thing to do and there's nothing in it for you.
********
When it comes to my loved ones, whether family or friends, I’ve shown time and again how fiercely loyal and genuinely dependable I can be.
My bordering-on-excessive tendency to help out in any way I can has caused messy stirs quite a number of times before, hehe. I know that there are times when my methods are a tad intrusive and imposing. To some, that may come across as being stubborn and that I just want to always get my way. But for me, it just shows how passionate I am about the things (or people) that are important to me.
Many years ago, a rift with a very good friend taught me a valuable and enduring lesson about friendship – be a friend without expecting anything in return, without counting who benefits more in the comradely bond. But I am only human and having expectations is but a natural phenomenon. To me though, it’s just a matter of managing these expectations, haha.
Almost all the time, a little appreciation is all that it takes for me to feel that doing what I do is the right thing. But alas, emotional infancy and insensitivity gets in the way. And in the end, I don’t even get the minimum respect that I deserve.
********
You know what's ironically sucks more in these situations when you feel under-appreciated? It's the fact that when the going get rough yet again, you know you won't be able to say no. Haiis. Haha!
“You’re the best person I know. Everything you do, you do for others.”
“And why is that?”
“I have not a clue. But you obviously get some sort of sick satisfaction out of it.”
In this scene in the movie “The Blind Side”, Sandra Bullock’s character Leigh Ann Tuohy reflects on her ‘goodness’ as a person. She and her family welcomed a young Black man named Michael Oher into their home and pretty much treated him like one of them. The Tuohys are your typical Southern white family and the fact that Michael is black was one of the salient twists to this true story.
The goodness of the Tuohys is sort of questioned in the movie (you just watch it yourself to find out why so). And in this particular scene I quoted above, I somehow found myself reflecting on my own ‘goodness’ as a person. Am I really a good person? Am I so because I really just am, or because I just want to be so?
********
To say that my parents are good people is probably an understatement. Ask all of our relatives that they have helped emotionally and financially, and they will definitely agree. Ask our neighbors, ask our Parish Church, ask their Filipino friends in Bahrain, ask the people from the villages they grew up from – they will all concur. My folks are truly good and very helpful people.
Often, Mama would tell me that when I’d already have a stable job, I should not forget to ‘help out’ the less fortunate as well, to give to charity, to help a relative, etc, etc. Of course I’d gladly say yes, but would go on to quip that I haven’t even graduated and yet I already feel like I am already sending a poor relative to school to give them a brighter future. Hehe!
Often, I’d have issues with my folks’ seemingly endless goodness and helpfulness to others, especially in times when they’d reprimand us for spending too much on certain stuff (take note: ‘too much’ here is highly relative, hehe!). But at the end of the day, I do understand the bigger picture. If there’s a way for you to help, you just do it. And this is one of the more precious values my parents have instilled in us their children.
I would like to think that indeed, I am a good person. Of course, I know I am far from perfect. But generally speaking, I feel that I am good. Haha, talk about pagbubuhat ng sariling bangko!
********
It’s easy to be good when it’s convenient. When you have lots of money, it’s easy to give to charity. When you have plenty of time, it’s easy to go out of your way to give someone a favor. And I think you will all agree, when everyone is looking (or is aware), it’s much more rewarding, haha.
But I think being good takes much more effort than it seems. Sometimes we say that certain people are so good that being so comes naturally to them or that they were born that way. For me, being good requires a certain values and principle set – wisdom, maturity, empathy and selflessness – and it’s easy to understand why. To be mature and wise is to know what to do and often, when to do it. To be empathetic is to be able to feel what others feel without having to be literal about it. And lastly to be selfless – well, this one’s no brainer. To have something in you that move you to be there for someone and putting their needs and interest first before your own, that’s definitely selfless.
But I personally think that being good also requires courage and nobility.
You know, being good or helping someone out is not always difficult because the circumstances make it so. Often, what makes it complicated is the attitude of the very people you are helping and the consequences of doing so.
There are times when the help is unwanted or unappreciated. Or, as in the case of the Tuohys in “The Blind Side”, it is even doubted.
So for me, it takes a stronger character to be good not just in the times when you easily can, but also in the times when it’s difficult but you do it anyway because you know it’s the right thing to do and there's nothing in it for you.
********
When it comes to my loved ones, whether family or friends, I’ve shown time and again how fiercely loyal and genuinely dependable I can be.
My bordering-on-excessive tendency to help out in any way I can has caused messy stirs quite a number of times before, hehe. I know that there are times when my methods are a tad intrusive and imposing. To some, that may come across as being stubborn and that I just want to always get my way. But for me, it just shows how passionate I am about the things (or people) that are important to me.
Many years ago, a rift with a very good friend taught me a valuable and enduring lesson about friendship – be a friend without expecting anything in return, without counting who benefits more in the comradely bond. But I am only human and having expectations is but a natural phenomenon. To me though, it’s just a matter of managing these expectations, haha.
Almost all the time, a little appreciation is all that it takes for me to feel that doing what I do is the right thing. But alas, emotional infancy and insensitivity gets in the way. And in the end, I don’t even get the minimum respect that I deserve.
********
You know what's ironically sucks more in these situations when you feel under-appreciated? It's the fact that when the going get rough yet again, you know you won't be able to say no. Haiis. Haha!
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