Buses and Trains

Earlier today, I was supposed to be on a trip to Zambales with some church buddies. It was a holiday and the parish organized a whole day’s worth of activities that included a pilgrimage, team-building and some leisure time as well. I didn’t really plan on coming but at the last minute, I figured I might as well go since it’s currently my school break and I will be in good company.

But alas, I missed the bus. And the trip. Haha!

A few seconds would’ve really made the difference. I was just a few meters away from the meeting place and I could already see the two buses ahead. But then the buses started to leave. My friends, who were already aboard, tried to stop the bus for me but to no avail. I started to run, hoping I could catch up but the two buses were able to leave our village in no time.

The sun has barely risen and it was still a little cold. All I could think of was that I just pulled off a San Chai in Meteor Garden, sans the oranges. Haha!

On my way back home, I tried to make sense of it all. I felt embarrassed and disappointed. And a little relieved because at least no one saw me being left by the bus. Hahaha! I kept on thinking all the things that could’ve happened differently such that I could’ve made the bus and the trip (which by the way, based on my friends’ pictures, was a blast). I could’ve woken up a minute earlier. I could’ve taken a bath and dressed up faster. Damn I shouldn’t have changed pants! I could’ve skipped my yoghurt breakfast and the additional trip to the bathroom to ‘unload’ stuff, haha! I could’ve not turned on my laptop and checked Facebook while having breakfast. I was already on my way when I remembered to go back for my umbrella – which by the way took a good five minutes to look for because it wasn’t where I left it the day before. I could’ve not done that – after all I don’t think it rained at all during the trip (based on the pictures). In short, there were many things I could’ve or could’ve not done that would’ve paved the way for me to be able to board the bus on time. But I did or didn’t do any of them. So I guess there wasn’t any point in contemplation. Simply put, I shouldve been punctual and I wasn’t. Haha! But really, a few seconds (or meters at that) would’ve made all the difference! *Sige, ipilit pa, haha!*

So I just walked quietly home, trying to downplay the gravity of the mishap. Before I slept again, I ate the bacon pandesal thing that I would’ve eaten in the bus. And as I lay down again, I was still trying to convince myself that being left behind isn’t all that bad because I will be able to do other fun stuff once I wake up again.

Well, the day turned out to be a pretty chillax day for me. I woke up late but well-rested. I did a few chores and other stuff that I’ve been meaning to do but didn’t have the time because I’ve been out and about since the start of my school break. So yes, it kinda worked out for the best after all. Well of course, if I could redo the day, I would’ve chosen the much more fun path of making the trip with my friends, but I’m not about to cry over spilled milk. Besides, I’ve dealt with missed chances and almost-there moments too often in the past, with much more heavier things at stake at that. I’m definitely not going to bang my head over this one.

I’ve had my fair share of major, major problems in life. Haha! Sorry, I couldn’t resist the Venus Raj reference. If I were to answer her question at the recent Miss Universe, I would’ve taken a long time to answer the question, not because I would be lost for words, but because I would have to really think about which among my big mistakes would be big enough to win the title but not too big that it would be too disparaging to lose the title altogether. These major, major mistakes have cost me several crucial chances and opportunities – some of which I might have to live with for the rest of my life. And I’m sure you feel the same with your own major, major mistakes in life. Not if you’re Venus Raj, eh? Haha!

At the end of the day, we have to realize that we may have missed so many important chances, but each day is actually new one. I know it’s hard and I know this personally. There are still instances when I cringe with regret over my mistakes. But I think that’s normal. Just don’t let these instances take over. There’s a time limit in dwelling over our mistakes. This time should be enough for us to mull over what we can take and learn from the experience. When we dwell too long, it just becomes self-loathing, and nothing good and productive ever comes out of that. So where do we get the strength to be able to do all that? Why Venus Raj said so herself – from the confidence of the love that our families and loved ones are giving us. And the Venus Raj references stop here. Haha!