Ten years ago, I was up on a podium, uttering these exact words: “What we know now isn’t enough. Being the valedictorian is not even a guarantee that I will be among the triumphant ones. Nor the below average students be sure losers of the future.”
I can’t help but laugh at the ominous humor of what I declared a full decade ago. Back then, I said those words for mere illustration and I didn’t really believe them. I knew that it was possible. But one would have to screw up big time for it to actually come true. And it came true in my case indeed, haha!
Most graduates would celebrate their graduation because of what they have achieved. After all, isn’t that what commencement exercises and recognition rites are for? At the very least, we all worked so hard to achieve that diploma that serves as proof that we are made of something relevant, great and worthwhile. For those of us who were extra hard-working and diligent, awards and honors were given. Graduation is all about celebrating these milestones that mark years of struggle and learning.
But I am looking at this graduation of mine from a different, more personal perspective. It’s not just about finishing a damn degree nor about receiving recognition that’s proof-positive that I am truly one of the best. I am not just celebrating an accomplishment. I am honoring an entire college experience – all the significant ups and disastrous downs included. Others graduated with the same college degree and diploma, but I am extra proud of all the hoops I had to go through just to get it.
In Aguman, we were taught that in order to truly appreciate something (pardon the sudden code switch, but the emphasis is better in our own language) – “kailangang igapang mo”. And boy, did I do exactly just that.
Of course, I’m not saying that incurring more than 20 failed grades and being dismissed from a prestigious university is the way to go, haha, or that I’m better than those who graduated on time or received honors. Excellence is still and will always be the ideal path to greatness. It’s just that sometimes, life diverts you to a detour that is traditionally not what you dreamt for yourself. More often than not, it’s your fault anyway. So do you just sulk at your sad, sad fate and surrender all hope or would you rather play on and fight for a comeback? I chose the latter. I’m not proud of any of my numerous failures, but I am of the each time I never stopped trying.
So what is my point? I guess the next bunch of clichés adequately says it all:
“Try and try until you succeed.”
“Don’t cry over spilled milk.”
“Keep moving forward.”
And my all-time favorite – “Charge it to experience!”
“Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him.“
~Aldous Leonard Huxley, Texts and Pretexts, 1932
Do I have regrets? Well, yes. After all, I failed to achieve something great and exclusive and I’m not going to pretend that it won’t be a life-long frustration. I find it silly to say “no regrets” when we know for a fact if we had the chance, we would do things differently in order to achieve the better outcome. But will I dwell on these regrets? Hell to the Mercedes Jones no. Despite its victorious ending, my college experience is not something I will wish on someone, haha. But this experience is already mine, so I will squeeze all the good that I can from it. The glass has always been half-full for me, instead of half-empty. And I am definitely more than the sum of my parts.
In my heart, I will always have two college alma maters, even if one dismissed me and the other welcomed me in open arms, haha. I only graduated from the latter and purists can argue that I have no claim to the prestige of the former because I wasn’t good enough for it. The I hell I care, haha! Because really, both instilled in me the very values that I know will lead me to somewhere great. UP taught me the noble worth of honor and excellence in whatever I do, while AMA reminded me of how great I can be for as long as I keep trying.
There's mistakes that I have made, some chances I just threw away,
Some roads, I never should've taken, been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds, that I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference, the past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned, some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.
Some roads, I never should've taken, been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds, that I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference, the past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned, some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.
~"Lessons Learned" by Carrie Underwood
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