Battlefield

Residing in cheap but liveable Third-World apartment buildings since 2002 has accustomed me to typical Third World pests.

Rats in the alley that are as big as cats.
Cockroaches in the wall that suddenly pop (and sometimes even fly) out of nowhere.
Mice that constantly prey on your trash bags.

I’ve learned to ignore the giant rats because I don’t hang in the eskinita leading to our unit anyway, except to pass by. I’ve learned to manage the occasional cockroaches that’s why a can of Kwik insect spray is a staple in our cabinet. As for the mice – well, I’d rather not divulge what I do with them, lest a PETA member read this and makes it viral.

The rats and mice are hardly frightening for me because it’s not like they actually appear when we’re around. The rats would rather escape to the pipes and the mice normally “play when the cat is away” anyway. But the cockroaches – one would have to deal with them more often than not because they choose no time in disturbing your peaceful existence and intruding into your personal space. They can wander into your room in the day and more often during the night. Sometimes, they voluntarily scamper away even as you’re only about to reach for the can of insect killer. But in some rare instances, they actually fly directly into you – like go straight to your face or arms! And that’s when I get pissed and panicky at the same time because there’s this kadiri thing who seems to be nananadya. Hahaha!

So yeah, pesky cockroaches are nothing new to me. But what happened to me one fateful night was nothing I’ve ever experienced before. It’s the stuff horror movies are made of. For the first time ever, I was seriously scared to my core that I wasn’t able to sleep anymore.

My roommates and I were already peacefully asleep when I felt something crawl into my feet. I immediately jerked up in surprise but I kind of new already what I was about to deal with. On reflex, I reached for the insect spray killer and searched for the target with the help of the faint light from my mobile phone’s display screen.

Rex 1, Blattidae^* 0

I was about to put down the insect killer and go back to my peaceful sleep when I heard some rustling in the empty bed space above my double deck bed. Ah, there are two of them.

I stood up to turn on the light and search for the other evil offender. But instead of finding only one cockroach, I found around 5 more coming in via the window beside my bed. They were already crawling in the room walls in different directions. This is warrrrr! Haha!

Rex 6, Blattidae 2 (for the major hassle, I was really awake and pissed by this time)

I sprayed to save my life! And that of my 2 roommates who only slightly reacted the commotion I was making in killing the cockroaches and cringing from the ones that fly to me. They simply covered their faces with their pillows and went back to sleep. Oh, what they don’t know won’t hurt them. Haha!

So clearly, this wasn’t happenstance. Something weird has to be going on because why else would more than 5 cockroaches suddenly crawl into our bedroom from the nastier and dirtier world out there.

My stress levels were up so I decided to get a glass of water to calm myself down somehow. But as I stumbled into the kitchen, I saw that more cockroaches were coming in via the bathroom window. There were probably more than 30 of them! Remember those flesh-eating ancient bugs in “The Mummy” films? The sight was like that!

Rex 6, Blattidae 50+

I was literally stunned. I stared in disbelief at the volume of live cockroaches in such a small space. Some were flying from one side of the wall to another. Some were falling from the ceiling. The rest were mindlessly going in circles. I looked at the big can of Kwik in my hand and I knew that it won’t be enough. 

I’ve always believed that in life, we have to choose our battles wisely. And this is one battle that I will definitely lose. I will have to back down. Haha! So I just returned to our bedroom and slammed the door shut behind me, praying and hoping that those swarm of filthy intruders won’t find their way even to our bedroom.

It was only 2am. My heart was really racing.

Then I realized that I wanted to pee. Oh the timing couldn’t be more perfect. Ugh.

I was never able to go back to sleep.

Blattidae wins

And oh yeah, while all of this evil in our room is happening, the Catholic world finally got itself a new Pope. Coincidence? 

AFTERMATH. These are the ones I managed to kill.
Many more escaped.

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^*The Blattidae is a family of the order Blattaria (cockroaches). It contains several of the most common household cockroaches.