25 + 1 = 26

20 + 1 = 21

“With age comes wisdom they say. This is what I answer to friends who chide me for getting old. There are still a lot of things that I still have to learn. For starters, I still don’t have a driver’s license. I’m 21, for crying out loud. I still can’t cook. So if I’d have to work abroad, I’m gonna starve or take-outs will just consume a bulk of my hard-earned dollars…”

21 + 1 = 22

"On my birthday, I was with the best possible set of friends. (I would've added 'family', but then again, I only have one family, there's no 'best possible set of family', hehe). Nothing could top that. EVER! Hehe!"

22 + 1 = 23

"My 23rd birthday definitely trumps my 22nd birthday, simply because it was more meaningful. No amount of panlilibre could beat the love (in different forms -- words, text messages, gifts, haha!) I received from my family and truest friends."

23 + 1 = 24

"Of course I know that with the rest of my life ahead me (and assuming I will have a long one, fingers crossed), I know that my 8 years in college would eventually mean not that much. But right now, at this current stage in my life, I'm just thankful for all the experiences I've had. Even the many bad ones! Because really, still standing after all of those makes me feel confident that I can face whatever comes my way."

24 + 1 = 25

"At 25, I feel like I’ve been through so much already and yet I know that there are still a lot of things I haven’t done that I should’ve done by now. But one thing is for sure, I know that my 25-year experience and the lessons I’ve learned from it will be what I would need to go through the next 25 years of my life. I know that this era will be much tougher."

************

Birthday Salubong with friends at CenterStage

I got this birthday salubong thing from Chico and Delamar (the DJs). Basically, I hang out with friends while waiting for 12 midnight to strike, signaling the start of my 26th birthday. It also served as our housemate's Christmas night out and a get together with more AguPips.

So there. No surprises this year, there goes the 4-year streak, haha! But hey, welcoming my birthday with the best company possible is just as touching and meaningful. Thanks to all my friends who stayed up late just for this birthday whim of mine. It was a weekday after all, many of them have work/classes/exams early the next day. ;D

************

I feel like I’ve run out of wise realizations for my birthday. I’ve been doing it year in, year out. As I looked back on my birthday posts for the past five years, there’s a common theme – “charge it to experience”, “hope for the best”! It is such a cliché that I cringe deep inside. Haha!

Para maiba naman: “Growing old is compulsory, but growin up is voluntary.”

I don’t remember anymore where I got the quote above. But that is what I want to celebrate this time, for I feel like I’ve done a lot of voluntary growing up in the past year. I can now drive and cook – something I ranted about in my 21st birthday post. Shit, it took me 5 years to address those two things! Haha!

For me, being a grown-up takes a lot of effort. It takes a lot of effort to act your age. It’s an everyday battle of what you should do and what you want to do. And mind you, grown-ups have to meet a lot of expectations, not only from those who are older, but also from those who are younger. Many times, I’ve found myself doing things that I don’t want to do or things that for me are not fair, but I do them anyway because it’s the right thing to do or that it’s my duty to do so. What is amazing though that if you let yourself do this more often, it’ll come to you naturally, eventually.

In the end, I guess it all boils down to one’s character, for not all adults grow up as fast as they grow old. I’m thankful that I’ve got many great role models. I learned and continue to learn from the best.

“Maturity is about how selfless you can be. It's not really about how much know and not just about how much you've experienced or learned from others before you -- it's also about how much you can genuinely do for others or paying it forward.”

~A late night realization of mine, posted on Facebook back in August 2010

Speak Now

First of all, I don’t have to explain myself, my actions nor my plans. I have the right to do what I want to do. And when to do it. But alas, I'm forced to, if only to make sense of an issue that I am again being dragged into without my consent.

Secondly, it’s not like any of you emphasized that the activity was “for the alumni”. I’ve asked around, and so far, they all had no idea either. As touched as we are by the effort to invite us, none of us knew that the activity was prepared especially for us. We all thought it was just like any of your on-campus activities – that we can join in the fun if we want to. IF WE WANT TO.

To read more, click here. If you're allowed to view the note, you will be able to do so.

All I Ever Wanted/Needed

Thanksgiving is not really a holiday here in the Philippines, but I have a lot of things and people to be thankful for -- even if things don't always get my way or I don't always get what I want. I would get into them one by one, but I should be doing something else tonight, so I will just save that for a more special post. Or if it is that person’s birthday. Haha!

I just want to say that if I were to assess my life at this point, I have many things to be thankful for. Never have I imagined what I turned out to be now, so it’s definitely an interesting surprise. It’s absolutely not what I planned for, nor is it the ideal situation for someone my age. But hey, you know what they say -- when life throws you lemons even as you wanted orange juice, then make lemonade instead! Or if it throws grapes, make wine! It’s just a matter of perspective.

So there, thanks for everything Lord! I know that you will always give me problems, because you designed life to be shitty like that, haha! But I am thankful You continuously give me the strength and wisdom to carry them well. Don’t stop now, please.

_______

When I was younger, whenever I drove my Mama nuts into buying something, she'd snapped back to me, "Think about it well, do you NEED this, or do you just WANT it? Because we only have money for our needs, not all our wants.."

And then I would end up sulking all the way home because deep in my heart, I knew my Mama was right. Haha!

I don't have all I ever wanted, but I think I have all I ever needed. :D

My Third Place

Five years ago, the largest size of Zagu with extra pearl and crystals was as expensive as I can get when it comes to drinks. That's around P50. Fast forward to today, I would readily spend almost P200. Does it mean that I'm now a grown up that's why I can spend as much, or I just became more superficial? Haha!

Anyway, earlier this evening, I finally got to redeem my Starbucks 2011 Planner. This is the fourth time I've collected coffee stickers for an over-rated planner. First one was for the 2006 planner -- it had a lot of freebie coupons! I think the only reason I decided to collect was I knew I can easily afford it because I would have "birthday funds" come December. Back then, I still wasn't "into" Starbucks, mainly because it was so expensive and it was still considered a "luxury". But then, when you collect 21 stickers (that's 21 drinks!) for a fancy planner, you're bound to get addicted and acquire the sophisticated taste for signature coffee. More so, all those monthly coupons had to be used, so my relationship with Starbucks didn't end when I finally got what I wanted. It really got me hooked the whole year. I still drink those humble 3-in-1s though, haha!

The 2007 planner was so bulky but I guess out of a force of habit, I collected stickers for it anyway. Alas, it didn't have as many coupons. By this time, Starbucks for me was becoming less and less of a "luxury" purchase, but more and more of a "staple" gimik treat.

I didn't collect for the 2008 planner anymore because I guess I've learned my lesson -- the planner and the cost that comes with it just wasn't worth it. Really, it has become more of a status symbol than an actual self-organization tool. And everyone else was collecting for it! I had to be deviant. Haha! But to be honest, the planner wasn't that fancy-looking anyway and the only freebie was a measly pencil. Plus, I think I availed of the UP Centennial Planner instead.

The story was the same for the 2009 planner. I think I still didn't like the design. I still frequented Starbucks though (but not as much as I would if I were collecting stickers). I just relented my stickers to friends who collected.

In 2010, I became superficial again and decided to collect stickers again. This time, the designs were fancy enough and they came in three designs. How cool is that! Cool enough, I guess. Haha!

2010 is about to end and I can say with full honesty and humility (but not necessarily with regret) that I don't think I've utilized my planner to its fullest potential. As with the case of my previous planners, they were more of a logbook/diary of "what I did" instead of keeping track of "what I'm planning to do". The only "planning" I got to do with it was in the latter half of the year when I bought a stove for the apartment -- I used my planner to devise what dishes I would cook for me and my housemates. Haha!

When I redeemed my 2011 planner, I chose the red velvet design. It was labeled "My Third Place". Its explanation was in a form of a short quote:

It's not home;

it's not workplace.

It's that special place in between where

we meet to awaken our senses,

to find inspiration, and

to make lasting connections.

The third place --

this is what we have become for you,

our loyal customer, our friend.

I think I set two records this year. First, the earliest I was able to complete the set and redeem my planner. Granted, there were only 17 stickers this year (the fewest in the 4 years I've been collecting). But still, it's only November and I already have it. Whereas normally, I am only able to do so around the week of my birthday. Second, the least number of stickers bought by me. Haha! Thanks to my classmates and orgmates who always indulged me whenever I said, "Tara, Starbucks tayo!"

This Starbucks 2011 planner is brought to me in part by the following people: Ate Rochelle, Ate Grace, Vonash, Carou, Mike, Darryl, Justin (nephew) and Justin (orgmate).

The most expensive amount I ever spent of a signature cafe drink was earlier this evening too. But not at Starbucks! Haha! It was a large Apple Caramel Ice Blended drink from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. I met up with Justin (orgmate) there for the 1 last sticker I needed. Plus, he had to review for an accounting exam tomorrow and I had to do some acads stuff too. We hung at CBTL for the wifi, haha!

_______________

When I came back at our seat after I ordered..

Rex: Look, they gave me a promo card for the planner. *Shows Justin the card*.

Justin: Really? They didn't give me one. *Weirded out* Maybe because you looked like someone who would collect.

Rex: What does that say about you?

Both: Haha! (^^,)

Ktnxbai

Truth is, I know you appreciate it. I know that deep inside, you do. But it's just that sometimes, I do wanna hear you say it. Even just say, once or twice a year? Like maybe in certain occasions wherein saying "thanks" wouldn't be too mushy and all.

I know that you appreciate it. I know and believe. I really do. But sometimes, considering and seeing how easily or often you show or tell other people your gratitude and appreciation, and how RARELY it happens when it comes to me -- this makes it so easy for me to forget that truth is, I know you appreciate it. I know you do.

But sometimes, just sometimes, I'm not so sure.

At talagang ito pa daw ang makakapagpa-blog sa akin after almost two months of katamaran. :D

"Brothers & Sisters" Season 5 Primer - Letting Go

Most of my favorite TV series will be back this week. Hooray! So for those who didn't spend the last week or so "reviewing" the last episodes as preparation for the season premieres hoopla, here's a quick primer. Since I already watched the new episode when I watched it, I've thrown in my thoughts on it, too. :D

Previously on Brothers & Sisters!

Oh, it never runs out of drama within the Walker family. Eldest sibling Sarah was kind of down on herself because the family business she was running went bankrupt. But then, along with dad’s-former-mistress-turned-business-partner Holly, they finally discovered that Narrow Lake – the only major asset they had left, is standing on top of a huge aquifer, thus paving the way for the family to shift from the wine business to water. Well, the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. Okay, that is of no consequence here. Second eldest Kitty was running for Governor while senator-husband Robert was facing some tough high-security level type of political conspiracy/problem. Meanwhile, third eldest Tommy is still somewhere but home. Haha! That’s what happens to your character when the actor gets fired. Second youngest Kevin and husband Scotty were on their way to having a baby, thanks to their surrogate Michelle. Youngest Justin and wife Rebecca (daughter of Holly, so yes, his dad’s mistress is now his mother-in-law, haha) were having some minor marital problems because Justin wanted to do some volunteer work in Haiti for med school credits but Rebecca wanted to accept a new job. But both don’t want to be apart for a year so they didn’t know who should give way. Lastly, Uncle Saul tested positive for HIV but he hasn’t told anybody yet.

In the last episode, the whole family got together for some sort of food tasting for the restaurant that Saul and Scotty were planning to put up. And we all know what happens to Walker dinners – they fought, haha! Oh, and Robert sort of had a heart attack. I wonder if they ever got to eat all the good food Uncle Saul and Scotty cooked.

By the next morning, everything was okay, as always because all the characters had time to think and came to terms with whatever they were dealing with in their lives. It would’ve been a happy ending but on their way home (they kind of car-pooled for they left the rest house at the same time), they met a road accident. Everyone had varying degrees of injury but it seems that Robert and Holly had it worst. Knowing that Rob Lowe, the actor who plays Robert was leaving the show, I just knew that Robert was going to die at the end of the season. Well, there’s only a couple of ways to get rid of his character, either he dies or he and Kitty gets a divorce. But their marriage is too precious to just end in divorce, so I guess it was better that he dies. I know it’s going to be heartbreaking but that’s life. Or that life in TV, at least. Haha!

Stuff to look forward to in the upcoming season!

*I’m kinda dreading the 5th season, to be honest. I had this hunch that it’s going to be the last for my sentimentally favorite TV series. A major character (Robert) was leaving and the episode order has been cut to just 18 episodes, instead of the usual 23 or 24. Usually, these are tell-tale signs.

*Now, Brothers & Sisters isn’t the most exciting or gripping show. But it has this sentimental charm for me because it’s about the family. And to be honest, I’ve learned a lot of life lessons from this show. So I’m generally looking forward to more family angst and drama from which I know I will learn lots from.

Character-wise, it would be interesting to look forward to the following:

*Kevin and Scotty are on their way to being parents themselves. How will this change their lives?

*Uncle Saul is HIV positive. I don’t think there are many shows today that address this issue.

*Sarah will be having some sort of renaissance in her career now that Narrow Lake could become a cash cow for the family.

*Since Kitty and Robert will be over due to Robert’s impending death, I guess their shoes will be filled in by Justin and Rebecca.

*Brothers & Sisters started with the death of the family patriarch, William Walker. And since then, most story arcs involved dealing with that loss. Since the next season will deal Kitty’s loss, there should be enough drama and struggle about that for the whole season.

What actually happened in the Season 7 premiere

It’s been a year since the accident and we were brought to speed about how the family individually coped up. Surprise, surprise, Robert wasn’t dead but he was in a permanent coma so he’s practically dead. Kitty didn’t seem to wanna let go. And it’s not yet clear what happened to her candidacy for governor but it’s highly likely she didn’t push through with it for she would’ve been busy taking care of Robert. Sarah and Holly weren’t able to push through with the water business because it turns out that Holly suffered some sort of recurring amnesia from the accident. Sarah was able to find a buyer though for Narrow Lake for a nifty price of $55 million! Woah! Uncle Saul and Scotty’s restaurant was going well, but apparently, Kevin and Scotty are still not parents because Michelle miscarried, twice. Justin went back to Iraq, against Rebecca’s wishes. That’s why when he came back, Rebecca had already moved out of their home. Lastly, Nora wasn’t the overbearing, meddling mother who always knew how to keep the family together.

As always, it all came down over a planned family dinner which didn’t push through. Because whenever the Walkers gather, everyone’s issues will be discussed, haha. For the past year, everyone was dealing with the aftermath of the accident on their own. They were mainly in denial. It actually took the youngest for everyone else to finally face their problems head on. The life lesson that was reinforced in that episode – problems do not get solved by pretending they don’t exist.

Let me end this post by sharing three of my favorite scenes from the episode:

“Do you know that every time I go there it always shocks me how much he looks like Robert. But it isn’t him, is it? No.. No.. I just feel so backed up against the wall lashing out at Justin like that. I don’t want to be this person anymore. I know that he’s never going to get better, I know that he’s gone. And I wanted to say goodbye for so long but I just can’t do it because I don’t know what to do without him. It’s not Robert that I’m afraid of losing anymore, I think it’s me. I always get to this point, and then I just can’t say it. Goodbye. Goodbye Robert.”

~said Kitty while she was talking to her mom Nora, outside Robert’s hospital suite

“Thank you for pushing me, for getting me out of my miserable self and forcing me to go off to war and do what I needed to do this whole last year. You did that, Mom. You hear me?.. Mom, come home. I did, but you didn’t. We need our mother again. We need the most overbearing, in-your-face, nosy, hovering, little -- in other words, the greatest mother in the entire world. We need you. Come home..”

~said Justin to his mom Nora, towards the end of the episode, after Robert’s funeral

“Like I said, it took a long time to get back here. I did the right thing, I know that now. I would’ve done it sooner if you would’ve been there to help me. But you weren’t. But I have this feeling that I’m gonna be okay. I think we’re gonna be okay.”

~said Kitty, as she offered a beautiful bouquet of flowers for Robert at the side of the road where the accident happened.

"Grey's Anatomy" 7th Season Primer - With You I'm Born Again

Most of my favorite TV series will be back this week. Hooray! So for those who didn't spend the last week or so "reviewing" the last episodes as preparation for the season premieres hoopla, here's a quick primer! Haha!

Previously on Grey's Anatomy!

In the Season 6 finale, Mr. Clark, the husband of a woman patient who died from a tumor and/or cancer, went on a shooting rampage across the surgical halls of Seattle Grace Hospital. You see, the couple didn't have any children, so all they had was each other. But then the woman was fighting a losing battle with cancer. Worse, she had a brain tumor which endangered life some more (as if her cancer wasn't bad enough). Which came first, the tumor or the cancer, I don't remember anymore. Dr. Derek Sheppard AKA McDreamy operated on the brain tumor a few episodes before the season finale. The operation was successful but something wrong happened during her recovery that she went into coma, with no sure indicator or even hope of coming out of it. Apparently, she signed a some legal document which states that she didn't want to stay in a coma if and when that happens. Her husband wanted to wait and hope (I mean if you were him, wouldn't you?) and not pull the plug, but the hospital was legally bound to respect the dead woman's legal instructions. So they pulled the plug.

So going back to the season finale! Haha! So Mr. Clark, in his unbearable grief over the loss of her wife and passionate anger towards the "doctors who decided" that her wife was already dead, wanted to kill these doctors. He couldn't find Derek immediately so there was a lot of collateral damage. Many people in the hospital were shot dead or were wounded. Two supporting doctor characters died and two main doctor characters were seriously wounded in that bloodbath. -- Dr. Alex Karev and well, McDreamy himself. Oh, Mandy Moore was a guest star. Haha!

Well, even as Derek's condition seemed unsure in the end, we all know he can't die because well, he is freaking McDreamy. If he dies, so will 75% of the viewers of this show. Haha!

In other developments:

*Derek's wife, Meredith apparently had a miscarriage, possibly due to all the stress they all went through that fateful day.

*Dr. Owen Hunt had to choose between Cristina and Teddy. So does Lexie, between Alex and Mark AKA McSteamy. I mean, seriously, what is with these people wanting to make such hard decisions when there's a man shooting everyone up! Haha! Well, that's part of the Grey's ironic charm. Seriously!

*Callie and Arizona kissed and made up and have decided they will want to have a baby.

*Dr. Nazi herself Miranda Bailey had a budding love life with the hospital anesthesiologist.

I say this as a true blue Grey's fan, that was one hell of a finale! Just when I thought the are-they-or-are-they-not-dead-elevator-scene ending of Season 5 featuring George Bailey and Isobel Stevens was hard to beat, Grey's Anatomy creator and showrunner Shonda Rhimes gives us this spectacular Season 6 finale. Haha!

Stuff to look forward to in the upcoming season!

*Well, Season 7 will definitely start with the aftermath of the shooting spree of Mr. Clark. How long will it take Derek to recover? Will he still be the Chief of Surgery or will Richard take back his position which he just recently let go? Who will be chosen in the various love triangles in the hospital? Haha! How will Meredith take her unfortunate miscarriage? She's been pretty matured the whole season, a far cry from the dark and twisty Meredith we met in Season 1. Will this recent infant tragedy bring her back to her dark and twisty days? So many questions! Haha!

*I've seen wedding pictures in my favorite TV blogs! But alas, I don't know which couple will tie the knot. It could be Meredith and Derek, to finally seal the deal! I mean, come on, I don't think post-it weddings are legally binding. Haha! Or it could be freaking anyone! Grey's is 100% capable of pulling off such surprises.

*Love and sex and the funny irony when both collide, haha! This is what you should always expect from a Grey's Anatomy episode. I can't believe it's been 6 years. If I were pregnant when this started, my kid would be in Grade 1 already! Haha!

Wish list

*A proper closure for Alex Karev and Isobel Stevens. Well, because the actress who plays Isobel, Katherine Heigl, suddenly left the show supposedly because she wanted to focus on her family (she and her husband adopted a baby from Vietnam last year), the fate of one of the classic couples of Grey's was left hanging. I'm hoping Heigl would at least return for one last episode to have this proper closure.

*More exposure for Avery. His character was just a recurring one in the previous season, but now that it is confirmed that he's a regular, I hope to know more about him and how his history will mesh with the rest of the cast.

*Another defying season finale for Season 7. Haha! I know, it hasn't even aired yet and here I am already talking about the finale. You see, Rhimes is known to plan the season finale first. This is what she pitches to network bosses during the TV series renewal period. All preceding episodes are written and planned with this "approved" finale in mind. Cool strategy, right? Haha! A housemate of mine and a fellow Grey's junkie were already guessing what could it be, haha! How about an airplane that crashes in the hospital parking lot or into the hospital itself?! Morbid much!

Grey's Anatomy's 7th Season will premiere September 24 (Manila Time). I don't know when StarWorld or Studio 23 will air the new episodes, sorry. Haha!

Coming up: The Good Wife, Desperate Housewives, Brothers & Sisters, and many more!

"Glee" 2nd Season Primer - Walking On Sunshine

Most of my favorite TV series will be back this week. Hooray! So for those who didn't spend the last week or so "reviewing" the last episodes as preparation for the season premieres hoopla, here's a quick primer! Haha!

Previously on Glee!

Well, the New Directions didn't win in the show choir regionals, even as they're the main protagonists in the story. Rightly so, in a cool "Bring It On" (classic cheerleading movie) fashion if you ask me. But I still can't get over the fact that there weren't even at least runner-ups! Oh well. Haha! The loss at the regionals would've been the demise of the club. And if you think about it, the TV series, too! I mean come on, when it's over for the protagonists, what story is there left to tell? Haha! But not when the season-long main antagonist cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester steps in and takes the higher road. She blackmails the school principal to give the Glee club another year to continue her 1-part-love-and-2–parts-hate relationship with coach Will Schuester and the rest of glee club. So, to set up the next season, we know that there will be another year's worth of witty comedy and great music. There weren't exactly cliffhangers or unfinished business that needs immediate resolution. I say the last episode of Season 1 did a good job in capping the fictional school year at McKinley High. But that doesn't mean we don't have much to look forward to in the 2nd season!

Stuff to look forward to in the upcoming season!

*Charice! Well, there's the definitely talked-about multi-episode guest stint of our very own Charice! Love or hate the young diva, she's on Glee guys. We can't say the same for the rest of us, haha. She's playing a Filipino exchange student named Sunshine Corazon who will definitely up the ante for the series' main diva, Rachel Berry.

*The new Beiste! Well, football coach Ken Tanaka must be so broken hearted that he won't be back, haha. So why not bring in a new one! Someone that will possibly unite archenemies Sue and Will. We can't get enough of ultra alpha female characters in this show, eh?

*More GLEEful music! There's the Britney episode. Well, even if you aren’t smitten with Britters, there are the rest of the songs that the Glee cast will definitely do justice in covering. “Billionaire” and “Empire State Of Mind” are just two of the recent hits that will be featured in the new season.

*Issues and characters galore! Will Idina Menzel guest star again as Rachel’s real mother with Quinn’s baby in tow? Will Emma and Will finally get it on for real? Will Kurt finally get a boyfriend? Do you wish for the Tina-Arty pairing to prosper or are you weary that it’s too much inside Tabing Ilog country (As in sila sila ang nagtataluhan! Haha!)? Will Brittany, Matt or the other Asian finally get singing leads? Haha! If you're a true blue Gleek, oh, I need not enumerate! I know you will watch anyway.

Wish list

*Well, for me, Glee is fine the way it is, given it's the only show I watch in that nature. I just hope that the new season will have better character development, much like in the first half of the first season. Supporting but interesting characters kinda got lost in the background in the second half because it kinda became more about the music than about the stories behind them – which is why I think the show lost to Modern Family the Emmy for Best Comedy Series. Some story arcs and situations seemed too forced to accommodate the music. The characters should drive the music and performances, not the other way around.

*A Lea Salonga guesting! Well, she’s Twitter buddies with the cast, she knows them in Broadway circles, and she definitely got the chops to sing, so why the hell not?! But alas, this is wishful thinking, at least for the second season. Lea already has projects scheduled for the rest of the year (one of which you might’ve seen on your Facebook sidebar ads, haha), so she definitely has no time to swing by Los Angeles to tape an episode. But who knows, someday, right? :D

*A Westlife episode perhaps? HAHA. As if. ;D

Glee's 2nd second season premieres September 22 (Manila Time). It locally airs on ETC every Wednesdays at 4pm and 9pm.

Coming up: The Good Wife, Grey's Anatomy, The Big Bang Theory, and many more!

Buses and Trains

Earlier today, I was supposed to be on a trip to Zambales with some church buddies. It was a holiday and the parish organized a whole day’s worth of activities that included a pilgrimage, team-building and some leisure time as well. I didn’t really plan on coming but at the last minute, I figured I might as well go since it’s currently my school break and I will be in good company.

But alas, I missed the bus. And the trip. Haha!

A few seconds would’ve really made the difference. I was just a few meters away from the meeting place and I could already see the two buses ahead. But then the buses started to leave. My friends, who were already aboard, tried to stop the bus for me but to no avail. I started to run, hoping I could catch up but the two buses were able to leave our village in no time.

The sun has barely risen and it was still a little cold. All I could think of was that I just pulled off a San Chai in Meteor Garden, sans the oranges. Haha!

On my way back home, I tried to make sense of it all. I felt embarrassed and disappointed. And a little relieved because at least no one saw me being left by the bus. Hahaha! I kept on thinking all the things that could’ve happened differently such that I could’ve made the bus and the trip (which by the way, based on my friends’ pictures, was a blast). I could’ve woken up a minute earlier. I could’ve taken a bath and dressed up faster. Damn I shouldn’t have changed pants! I could’ve skipped my yoghurt breakfast and the additional trip to the bathroom to ‘unload’ stuff, haha! I could’ve not turned on my laptop and checked Facebook while having breakfast. I was already on my way when I remembered to go back for my umbrella – which by the way took a good five minutes to look for because it wasn’t where I left it the day before. I could’ve not done that – after all I don’t think it rained at all during the trip (based on the pictures). In short, there were many things I could’ve or could’ve not done that would’ve paved the way for me to be able to board the bus on time. But I did or didn’t do any of them. So I guess there wasn’t any point in contemplation. Simply put, I shouldve been punctual and I wasn’t. Haha! But really, a few seconds (or meters at that) would’ve made all the difference! *Sige, ipilit pa, haha!*

So I just walked quietly home, trying to downplay the gravity of the mishap. Before I slept again, I ate the bacon pandesal thing that I would’ve eaten in the bus. And as I lay down again, I was still trying to convince myself that being left behind isn’t all that bad because I will be able to do other fun stuff once I wake up again.

Well, the day turned out to be a pretty chillax day for me. I woke up late but well-rested. I did a few chores and other stuff that I’ve been meaning to do but didn’t have the time because I’ve been out and about since the start of my school break. So yes, it kinda worked out for the best after all. Well of course, if I could redo the day, I would’ve chosen the much more fun path of making the trip with my friends, but I’m not about to cry over spilled milk. Besides, I’ve dealt with missed chances and almost-there moments too often in the past, with much more heavier things at stake at that. I’m definitely not going to bang my head over this one.

I’ve had my fair share of major, major problems in life. Haha! Sorry, I couldn’t resist the Venus Raj reference. If I were to answer her question at the recent Miss Universe, I would’ve taken a long time to answer the question, not because I would be lost for words, but because I would have to really think about which among my big mistakes would be big enough to win the title but not too big that it would be too disparaging to lose the title altogether. These major, major mistakes have cost me several crucial chances and opportunities – some of which I might have to live with for the rest of my life. And I’m sure you feel the same with your own major, major mistakes in life. Not if you’re Venus Raj, eh? Haha!

At the end of the day, we have to realize that we may have missed so many important chances, but each day is actually new one. I know it’s hard and I know this personally. There are still instances when I cringe with regret over my mistakes. But I think that’s normal. Just don’t let these instances take over. There’s a time limit in dwelling over our mistakes. This time should be enough for us to mull over what we can take and learn from the experience. When we dwell too long, it just becomes self-loathing, and nothing good and productive ever comes out of that. So where do we get the strength to be able to do all that? Why Venus Raj said so herself – from the confidence of the love that our families and loved ones are giving us. And the Venus Raj references stop here. Haha!

You Oughta Know

Insert a logically kick-ass statement here that would make some people think it's about or against them, because they're asinine that way. Because really, this is just a well-meaning and spectacularly wise take on things. Haha!

Never, ever attempt to silence me, especially if between the two of us, I'm the only one who's making sense.

I get to know things, without even trying. If only you'd realize how limited your world view is, I do have faith that you wouldn't be spewing shit all over everyone else's case. It's a shame really. Someone should put you in your proper place. It won't be me, yes, but believe me, it'll soon happen. I won't be there "there", but ha, it would feel like I will be! Again, without even trying.

Scared are the ones who are afraid to see the truth like it is and the way it should be told.

School Pride and Prejudice

Just something I wrote for UP Aguman's CEER 2009. Target readers were high school seniors. ;D


College is an important chapter in your life. Academically and socially, it will have the most impact on how you will fare for the rest of your life. In terms of academics, it’s a given what role the university you will choose to attend will play – it will teach and train you to be the best of whatever it is that you want to be. But here’s another thought to ponder – a university’s social environment will also most likely affect how you will succeed in your academics and what kind of person you will become.

The universities are like people too in the same sense that they have different personalities that’s definitely imprinted into the characters of its graduates. A university molds its students into a certain something – a kind of individual that is professional and competent, someone that will be in demand in the industry, here and abroad. This is what sets them apart from the others. And often, in an amusing way, this it was pits them against each other! Hehe!

Once you step in college, you will realize that people take college rivalry more seriously than high school. I mean, in high school, kids usually just fight on who’s the ‘coolest’ and often the criterion for such is whoever dresses the hippest and whoever hangs out at the most posh of places. But in college, it is serious business – you have to be the best! And no, we’re not just talking about basketball here!

There are many kinds of rivalries among universities. Here’s a quick lowdown on the most common and fiercest battles in the collegiate scene.

Academic Rivalry. Now this is the most important rivalry of all. I mean come on, who wouldn’t want to be touted as the best! Any university or college will tell you that they can provide you the best education and training. But alas, most industry leaders and corporate executives will tell you that in the Philippines, UP, Ateneo and La Salle are the most respected if not the best universities in the country. Of course there many others that are just as reputable, many of them are even based in the provinces. More so, each school has its own set of specialty programs. This simply means that any given university is particularly formidable and popular (rightly so) in certain fields.

Sports Rivalry. College sports is probably the non-academic activity that most students love to engage in. After all, recreational activities like sports is what helps students de-stress from all the hassles of academic life. If you’ve always been interested in sports, then for sure, you’re no stranger to the culture of collegiate sports, like the UAAP. It enjoys the most media coverage and hype, considering the fierce rivalries of its members schools – Ateneo and La Salle in men’s basketball; UP and UST in cheerdance.

Social Rivalry. Now this is one aspect of college life that can be a little hard to comprehend or understand and yet it has the more pronounced effect on people. After all, school pride is something that you cannot really define or measure – it’s either you feel it or you don’t. Aside from the academic and extra-curricular achievements of a school, its social status or reputation is something that its officials and students take seriously to heart. Forget the popular text jokes that take a dig on Manny Pacquiao or Aling Dionesia for a while. To college students, there are a set of hilarious college jokes that are common knowledge to them. These jokes have only one goal – to glorify one’s own Alma Mater, and ridicule the rest of them. Some take a dig on a school’s campus or facilities, some on the kind of students that usually enroll in it. Now, we won’t share any of them jokes here, it’s up to you to discover come college! Here’s a wise tip though: never take them seriously.

School pride is something that naturally thrives in the university environment. It plays a bigger role than anyone realizes. It contributes in the maintenance and improvement of all the aspects of the academe. It allows its community to believe in something that is bigger than itself. It is what drives them to strive for nothing but excellence in whatever endeavor they venture into – be it in academics or in other facets of college life.

School pride is not something that can be taught by the professors or officials. It’s just a feeling deep down inside each member of that academic community. So the next time you engage in a passive-aggressive Olympics with your friends on whose university is the best, be ready to agree to disagree. I mean, after all, you gotta love your own, right?

Having said all these, know that in the end, your university training can only take you so far, as essential as it may be. Your success in whatever path you choose will depend ultimately on you. Whatever your course maybe, wherever you may take it, take advantage of every opportunity to learn that comes your way. Take in as much as you can. Never cease to learn new things, even outside the four walls of the classroom. After all, once you finish college, you move on to an even bigger and more challenging school in which pride in oneself will trump anything else – the school of life.

The Long and Winding Road

I’ve always been afraid of driving – which is quite surprising because our family have always had at least one family vehicle for about two decades now. One would think that as a teenager, I’d prod my father to teach me how to drive so that I can show off just like what the other stereotypical teenage boys would do. I’ve never been the grease monkey type – which is another surprising thing because Papa is a mechanical engineer and growing up, I would always see him tinkering with the car with his various tools and machines.

Of course, as I grew older, I couldn’t escape the fact that I needed to learn how to drive. I only kind of successfully evaded the need for the longest time because there were three other drivers in the family so if someone had to drive, it could be any one of them – it didn’t have to be me. But that didn’t stop my mom from segueing to “Oh, kapilan ka mabyasang mag-drive?” from “Komusta la reng exams mu?” during their weekly overseas calls.

I first tried to learn under the tutelage of our cousin, Kuya Jay. I still remember, since he lives in Porac, he had to stay for two nights here at San Fernando during the course of our driving lessons. I learned the basics but since the first few sessions weren’t followed up, I didn’t really pursue the driving thing. A couple of years after, when most male figures in the family were abroad and thus unavailable to re-teach me, I enrolled on a driving school. It was a good experience because I was able to drive in the highways and not just within the safe confines of the neighborhood. Unfortunately, my driving ‘career’ still didn’t take off because months after the lessons, I was still unable to get a non-pro license and my student permit expired. Plus, I think more importantly, back then for me, driving was pretty much like calculus – I was required to learn it but I really didn’t see its practical use in my life so I wasn’t bound to practice it outside class hours. Commuting was more convenient for me. Also, the car was being used all the time anyway and the owner was often borrowed by relatives. So for me, what’s the point in all of this? Haha!

But this time around, I’m beaming with pride that after 5 student permits, I am now a bearer of a non-professional driver’s license! I attribute this milestone to two things – one, I realized that I’m not getting any younger and I didn’t want driving to be one of them adult things that I still haven’t marked ‘done’ on my life’s to-do list. Still being in school at my age is already an embarrassment enough! Haha! And two, it has come to a point wherein commuting is not that convenient anymore – especially knowing that if I already knew how to drive, I have at least two vehicles at my disposal.

I applied for my license last May 12, a few days before my latest student permit was to expire. I felt that if I let this one expire again, it would be totally uncool to have to apply for a student permit again. Haha! It was one of my main goals last summer. I had driving review lessons courtesy of my sister, Ate Joi. This time, I found myself wanting to really learn and be comfortable behind the wheel. A few weeks after, I was already driving the car to church (which was just within the village). If I drove outside the village, I would still ask my sister to accompany me. Then, just around two weeks ago, I finally drove the car outside the neighborhood on my own – my first solo ‘flight’. Haha!

It may have taken too long than usual, but I’m just proud and relieved that I finally learned to drive for real. I really felt like I went up another level of adulthood because of this. I’m still not an expert though. Hanging roads are territories I have yet to conquer. I may have well reached this point but not without suffering some nasty but funny setbacks – dead engine at a crucial stop light, driving at night without realizing my lights were actually still off, driving for a block or two with my handbrake still on and scratching my right doors into our garage’s marbled columns. But I’m proud of these ‘war wounds’. Like I always say, charge it to experience! Yeah! :D

********
Neicy, an orgmate who is around 6 years younger than me, has been driving for more than a year now. During org events or gimiks in Pampanga, often she’d offer to pick me up so that we can go together. One time, I told her, “Nakakahiya naman, ako tong kuya at di hamak na mas matanda sa iyo, ako pa itong sinusundo at hinahatid mo.”

I also often kid her that she drives too carefully or too slowly which is quite ironic because I can’t even drive myself then, haha. So when I was re-learning back in the summer, my mantra to summon motivation and confidence was “Must be faster than Nic”.

********
During my first solo ‘flight’, a couple of orgmates rode with me when we went home after the birthday get-together that we attended. As I successfully ‘entered’ the highway amidst the flurry of ten-wheeler trucks that normally plied the highway during that time of the night, I noticed that they were strangely quiet for minutes.

Me: Woy magsalita naman kayo! Okay lang ba kayo?
Elai: *Nervous laughter* Yieh, okay naman kami kuya, hihi!
Me: Well, baka gusto niyong magdasal para makauwi tayo nang payapa.
Mike: Actually, kaya kami tahimik eh. Haha!

********

Me: Ganun pala kapag marunong ka na mag-drive no?

Ate Joi: Oh, napano?

Me: Nakakatamad nang mag-commute! Hahaha!

Ate Joi: Aba, madami kang pang-gas? Haha!

Me: Itext ko nga si Mama, sasabihin ko, dagdagan ang allowance ko. Hehe!

So I texted my parents and joked about the additional allowace. My mom amusingly replied.

Mama: Aba, porke marunong ka na mag-drive, baka lagi ka namang mag-joyride nyan! Mag-skip ka na lang ng meryenda para may pang-gas ka at mabilis lumiit yang waistline mo.
Me: You’ve been bugging me to learn how to drive and constantly practice, so paano ako magpa-practice kung wala akong pang-gas?! Haha! Tsaka excuse me, I’m back to my normal non-holiday weight, most of my pants fit well, thank you. Hehe!

She didn’t reply anymore. But a week after, I got what I lobbied for. Hehe!

Truth Is

If you had to ask, you're probably thinking it, too.

If I refused to answer, it's practically an admission.
If I answered 'yes', then what? So what?
If I answered 'no', would you have been convinced?

For me, trusting means not having to ask. For most of the time, that is. But then, we only want the truth of the matter, right?

If there's one thing I learned from "The Good Wife" (a CBS legal drama whose Season 1 I marathoned last week, haha), it's that truth can be over-rated. One can always lie -- many people are good at it. One can always spin the truth to one's advantage -- most of us do this all the time anyway. Heck, the 'official' truth can even be negotiated or bargained for!

Some truths shouldn't matter. They wouldn't and shouldn't affect how you look at things or at other people. If you had to insist on knowing, then it would probably matter. Or that you're just too nosy for your own good.

Apparently, there's some sort of elephant in the room. And I don't care, that's why I don't see it.

Ako Ang Simula

6.13am – Woke up to get ready to vote. Past 2am na ako nakatulog, pero ok lang medyo excited eh, haha!

7.02 – Arrived at San Agustin Elementary School with my sister and brother-in-law. I immediately found my room, thanks to my QC housemate, Mike, who gave me heads up about my room assignment because he’s a poll volunteer.

7.07 – Found the end of the line for my cluster.

7.29 – Our room is the first room and is situated near the gate of the elementary school. Thus, I get to observe people who walk in and walk out of the premises. I spotted a fat lady who had pink eyeshadow and blue green eyebrows. What is up with that! Sensya na, nakakainip rin sa pila, can’t help but notice. Nakaka-violate sa paningin.

7.44 – Got my number, #13. Apparently, in our barangay, people who are lined up are given numbers before they actually enter the polling room.

8.00 – Got annoyed by this lady who was lined up in the adjacent cluster room. Nakaka-BV! Haha! Reklamo siya nang reklamo dahil medyo magulo daw ang sistema sa pila sa room nila. Her complaints were very valid though, but it’s just that she was too high and mighty about it. She kept on shouting and castigating the ushers. Hindi po tayo makakatulong kung pangungunahan tayo ng init ng ulo.

8.09 – Returned my line number to our usher, because apparently, she gave out the number cards out of order with respect to the line. The three people ahead of me had the numbers 16-18 and my number was 13. Haha! They complained so I suggested that we just return our numbers and arrange them accordingly.

8.11 – Incumbent Mayor Oscar Rodriguez arrived in the school premises clad in a bright yellow barong. Nasilaw ako. Haha! He belonged to the cluster room adjacent to mine.

8.16 – Got my number again, this time, #19. Yes, it took them 15 minutes to reorganize the numbers, haha.

8.21 – Patricia Mamangun, a local media reporter, arrived. Turns out she wanted to interview our mayor that’s why she was waiting outside. May kausap siya sa cell phone. Sabi niya sa kausap niya, nakaka-tatlo na daw siyang naiinterview na pulitiko. Siguro parang Electro Lux lang, may quota sila kailangang ma-meet. Haha!

8.26 – I saw Jer (an orgmate) inside the adjacent room. Bakit nakapasok siya agad?! Pumila siguro sa mga senior citizen. Haha!

8.31 – Finally entered the polling room. I had to wait a few more moments for the other voters to finish voting so that I can be seated.

8.47 – Inserted my ballot in the PCOS. It was immediately successfully verified! Yey! Then I got my finger inked and placed my thumb marks in the corresponding sheets.

9.00 – Left the premises. Had to look for my sister but they weren’t finished voting yet. Tsk, tsk.


So there. My 4th time to vote (1st automated) in an election was pretty smooth. The actual voting process inside the room was pretty smooth. It’s the lining up that was really problematic. It really depends on the strategy and planning IQ of the poll ushers/usherettes.

For those who have yet to vote, just be patient and cool-headed later when you do. It’s everyone’s first time to vote this way so let’s be understanding of each other. Problems will happen but hopefully, these will be given solutions immediately with everyone’s proper cooperation.

PUMILA NANG MAAYOS. HUWAG SUMINGIT.

Don’t feel a sense of entitlement just because you feel you’re above the others in terms of socioeconomic status or if you’re “somebody” in the neighborhood. Nakakairita yung mga mayayaman kong neighbors, ang aarte! Kanina pa daw sila nakapila samantalang nauna ako sa kanila. Their Lacoste shirts are barely wet from perspiration. Haha!

So good luck to everyone! Hope the voting process is smooth on your side of our archipelago.

Ride Wit Me

I admit, I felt green with envy. I wondered yet again how good it must feel if it were me. The beaming smiles conveyed a lot. They teemed with a deep sense of pride, fulfillment and relief. That unique academic regalia of tribal embroidery across their chests further amplifies the uniqueness and true triumph of the occasion.

It’s already been a year since I left UP. Well, I never really left because I still live in the same apartment near it, go there and visit my friends often, and jog around the campus at least once a week. It’s actually like I never left, haha.

******
All these months I’ve come to accept the reality of where I am now and of where I was before. Yes, I still miss it, I suppose that is normal. But I have a good grasp of things and I know this is where I deserve to be. But I guess last weekend was just that time of the year when all of my frustrations, regrets and insecurities would come flooding back in one big plunge, haha!

After a year, I actually thought I wouldn’t mind anymore. But as it turns out, I still do. Looking at my friends’ pictures was hard to bear. But I knew I just had to look, haha! Because as envious as I was at them and as miserable as I was with myself, I was really just as proud and happy for them. For this, I am definitely sure that I am not bitter. Because for me, being bitter would mean wishing the same sorry state I am in on them. But gazing at their happy pictures and mulling over how that sablay would look on me, all I could think of was how I wish I would also feel the same euphoric state they were in.

But I didn’t allow myself to wallow in the pain. It was only Friday, so I knew that with more graduation ceremonies to come in that weekend, those pictures on my Facebook live feed won’t let up. Haha! I knew it would definitely still hurt, but I also knew that I just have to ride the pain out because I knew it will soon be over. After all, it’s not like they will stop posting those pictures. It’s not like the world will stop being happy, just because I was sad.

*****
It's just like when we were kids, we'd clumsily fall on the ground while playing and we’d hurt ourselves. We thought the pain from the fall and the wound we got from it was unbearable so we wail our lungs out. But after an hour, when the embarrassment we felt when we fell in front of everyone wears off, we realize we're already okay. We'll be okay. The wound still hurts, yes. But we know that in a few days, it won't be anymore.

*****
So I did survive the emo weekend, haha! I actually had lots of fun by attending a couple of graduation parties. Looking back, I wonder what I was thinking that I started the weekend (which by the way coincided with the official start of my 3-week summer vacation) with such melancholy.

I was right – my happiness for my friends weighed more than all the negative vibes I allowed myself to feel. I wouldn’t have enjoyed much celebrating with them if it didn’t. I actually have at least three more graduation parties to attend in the next few weeks and I’m sure I will have as much fun.

And I know that when my own time comes, all of my good friends will celebrate with me.

Risky Business™

Managing expectations is risky business. It's one of them times that the heart is stronger than the mind.

We're powerless to infuse sense & logic in desires that are too intense. We put color onto things that are actually just black & white. We refuse to see the simple truth, because we know it'll just disappoint.

But to expect is human nature. We can't help it. In the end, the best attitude is to be ready for whataver will happen -- expecting the worst, but hoping for the best.

Yes, people often disappoint. But sometimes, when you least expect it, they just might surprise you. Or not. Haha!

The author writes original text quotes whenever inspiration strikes him, most often as he lies down his bed to sleep. This post, is one of them. Real life events or problems of his or of his friends are usually what triggers these sudden "pa-profound" moments.